Me, Myself, and I AM

Hello again!

2009-06-15T18:29:00.003-08:00

Hey all! As you may have guessed, I'm married now! Nate and I have already been in our new apartment for a week (still settling in).

The honeymoon was great! We went to Victoria, British Columbia. The weather was perfect, we ate delicious food, and hit local attractions and oddities.

We are getting ready to leave for Thailand in a few weeks and then China (officially!) in August.

In honor of all the changes happening in our lives, Nate and I have started a new blog together.

Visit us at http://twopieceband.blogspot.com

I haven't decided if I will keep posting on this blog or not. I will let you know.

Two weeks from today...

2009-05-10T10:31:00.002-08:00

I'll be married! The countdown is almost over! I think we started at 200 something and now it is down to 14!
I have been keeping busy lately with tons of wedding details. It's coming together now and I can finally see what it will look like. I'm so excited!
I'm also really excited to see family and friends that I have not seen for awhile.

Continue to pray for us as things will probably pick up the pace.

Snapshots

2009-04-26T18:12:00.006-08:00

My mom, with the help of my sister, recently purchased a new camera for me! This is such a huge blessing! With big travels coming up and my desire to have a more advanced camera, it came at a great time. Here are some of the latest things that have been happening in my life:

Easter with the family!

Graduation!!!
Party with Nate, Molly, Jean and I.

Big Stuff

2009-04-16T19:47:00.003-08:00

When I thought about graduating the thought of what else would be going on in my life never really occurred to me. I knew I'd be moving out on my own, looking for jobs, and that kind of thing. I never thought this much would be going on! It seems like the reality of what is about to happen just started really sinking in last weekend. Now, however, it feels a little surreal. Here is what is happening in my life right now:
Graduation-10 days
Wedding-38 days
Thailand Trip-8.5 weeks

A bit of exciting news! Nate and I have found jobs teaching overseas in Asia! Living overseas is never something we thought we'd be able to do for awhile, let alone right out of college. However, God is so amazingly good and has opened up a wonderful opportunity for us! Things are still not completely official, but it looks like we will go unless something crazy happens. If you would like to know more, please contact me personally. It's not top-secret or anything, I'm just trying to be careful with something that feels a delicate right now. And to think I worried so much!

More wedding information

2009-03-19T16:52:00.002-08:00

Go here
Our Wedding website
There will also be a permanent link at the bottom of the page.

Thoughts on the Sermon on the Mount

2009-03-14T08:59:00.003-08:00

I found this blog post on Jason Upton's website (Upton is one of my favorite worship leaders). This was written by Eberhardt Arnold.

How do we respond to the Sermon on the Mount? The Sermon on the Mount is
the first step on the way of discipleship, and it is of decisive importance to
me that our church consider this deeply. If we grasp the Sermon on the
Mount and believe it, then nothing can frighten us - neither our own
self-recognition, nor financial threats, nor our personal weakness.
The
dedication demanded in the Sermon on the Mount is not a new law or moral
teaching. Instead it is forgiveness. Its vital element is the light
and warmth of the Holy Spirit. Here is Christ: the essence of salt, and
the strength of the tree that bears good fruit. The Sermon on the Mount
shows us the character of a community, which shines like a light for the whole
world.
The Sermon on the Mount is not a high-tension moralism, but we must
grasp it as the revelation of God's real power in human life. If we take
our surrender to God seriously and allow him to enter our lives as light, as the
only energy which makes new life possible, then we will be able to live the new
life.
To read more visit this link

New Link

2009-03-12T07:40:00.001-08:00

Hey all,
Sorry I'm boring. I'm not keeping up with blogging. Oh well. Such is life.
Anyway....
I'm going to Thailand this summer and our team is starting to blog. I've posted the link down at the bottom.
If you want to check us out go to http://thethailandexpress.blogspot.com

Let Every Heart

2009-01-31T08:55:00.004-09:00

I am counting down the days to Graduation and my wedding. Everyone says and knows that this semester is going to go fast and yet we are still surprised that, in fact, it is. This is a interesting time in my life, a strange and significant time where their is a natural tension between making decisions and waiting.

This last week in my alone time and time with God, this theme that had been recurring in my mind was finally made clear. For some time this theme was just lingering there, kind of like background music. This theme is "Prepare Him Room".

I know it is not longer advent season, but somehow the words "Let every heart prepare him room" seem to resonate with me. I guess I'm in some sort of advent season. It's a time of waiting that is not empty or static, but is filled with hope and is preparatory. I know that somehow there is a change coming in my relationship with God. I feel that the answer to my often frenzied schedule and desire to somehow be less busy (a.k.a in charge) is going to be answered. I know it may look different than I expect, but I know that advent means that Christ is coming.

After long years of praying, serving, leading, and letting those things run me down instead of filling me up, I desire to be closer to God and I know I need it. I really want Christ to be the center of my life. I have let other things grab my attention and keep it. I have taken on responsibilities that may be good but not the best fit for me. I have let my own pride and zeal, along with things I really do enjoy, call the shots of what I am involved in.

So here I am. Tired. Ready to move on. Needing some time to reflect and be restored. And I feel called to "prepare him room". I don't know exactly what that will look like. I guess I'll be trying to listen to God and act boldly as I hash that out with Him. But I'm also really encouraged. God will bring me to that most necessary place of rest, 'shalom', and restored relationship with Him.

Need ideas for Christmas presents?

2008-12-06T10:27:00.003-09:00

Hey everybody,
I ran across this neat article in the Kansas City Star the other day and then found it online. If you would like to know that your gifts are fair-trade, support humanitarian efforts, or are green check out this article for links to great websites: Feel Good Gifts .

Another interesting idea you should also check out www.adventconspiracy.org

That's all!

Engagement pictures: Mushy stuff and silliness

2008-11-19T08:02:00.008-09:00

Hey Everybody, look at my engagement photos! Nate and I had our super great friend (and member of the Bridal party) shoot our photos. She's super. We had a lot of fun just being silly (as usual) and putting all of our creative juices to work. These were all taken around campus. The sunset ones were taken about 1 mile out of town. And yes, its a real sunset.

Summer Plans

2008-10-23T08:49:00.004-08:00

Hey guys,
My posts have been so exciting lately! Well, the posts may not be exciting, but the events that lead to the writing of the post are exciting.

First bit of news: Nate and I have set the date for our wedding: May 24th @ 5:00pm. We should send out some save-the-dates soon. We are getting married at Tanganyika Wildlife Park in Goddard (just southwest of Wichita). It is a really great place and we are excited to celebrate with family and friends there. Plus, we will have a lemur at the wedding! We are also planning on having a California Reception at some point for those that won't be able to make it out to Kansas for the wedding.

Second bit of news: Nate and I are going to Thailand!!! We are going with our school and are assistant team leaders for one of our friends and staff members at Sterling. We are going early/mid-July. We are not sure what exactly we will be doing over there. We have a couple of options: teaching English, doing teaching/evangelism in the northern rural areas, or working with girls in aftercare homes (sex-trafficking victims). We are both really exciting about this trip. As most of you who read my blog (family members) know, my cousins have been missionaries in Thailand for almost 9 years now. It has been a place that I have heard about as long as they have been there and I had always hoped to visit. The only sad thing is that they will probably be home on furlough while we are in Thailand! There will be more information about this coming out as well.

Other than those plans, Nate and I are just waiting on God for open doors and opportunities. That includes jobs and housing and the like. Pray for us!

I'm engaged!!!

2008-09-30T17:13:00.008-08:00

Hey everybody, guess what? I'm engaged! Really! God is so good. I am amazed at God's faithfulness and kindness in our relationship and in how he has brought us together and lead us.
I know that some of you have heard already but may not have heard the story. I will now tell it to you with the help of a photo montage.
Sunday night, the 21st, Jean, one of my best friends and former roommate, asked me if I would come pray with her after chapel. She told me she had borrowed the key from our Campus Pastor for Heritage hall, the original chapel and a room frequently used for prayer meetings. I agreed. Jean and I have been long time prayer partners and it seemed normal. So I went up to heritage hall at 10:00pm, the time Jean said she would be up there. I arrived and on the front of the door was a note with my name on it. I opened it up and it said "Go to 4th floor". My heart started pounding! I returned to the staircase and as I climbed there were notes on the steps that said things like, "Keep going!", "Almost there," "A little farther". The door at the top of the stairs said "Open me." I went in and there was another sign with an arrow pointing to The Gathering Place (our super cool guest suite and meeting place. It has the most comfortable furniture on campus!). I went in and one of my favorite chairs was facing the t.v. The chair had a sign instructing me to sit there and the dvd player had a note that said "push play". I sat down and pushed play. The song "Praise you" by fatboy slim started playing. Nate had made a slide show of pictures chronicling our whole relationship along with slides narrating the whole thing. At the very end of the video, as the music died out, the words on the screen read, "And now all I'm wondering is what she will say..."
Then he came out from the hallway where he was hiding. He came to my side, got down on one knee, and asked if I wanted to get married...to him! I had already been crying, but now I was weeping! I said "YES!" through my tears and laughter.
I asked him how he did everything and if Jean helped him make all the signs. He said he had a lot of help and then got up and turned on the light. Suddenly, our closest friends burst through the door leading to the fire escape. They all came in with those party blower things. We hugged and laughed and cried. They had made some special brownies (see below), mostly for my amusement. We then had a tiny engagement party!
Ok, so I'll label the pictures a little bit, but I think you can figure it our for the most part.

Cayla, David, and Jean waiting on the fire escape.

zRight after they came in. I'm still crying. Nate is excited!
Our friend Molly coming to congratulate us!

Reading the card our friends wrote for us.

The fun brownies.

Molly and Jean decided to celebrate by wearing the Ugly Sweaters we made together this summer.
Whitney and Melissa!

Thanks friends!

Here is the question to the first question we are typically asked now: May 23rd, 2009. At least within a few days of that date. That is our tentative dates, it depends on our venue(s).

SGA- A look into where I work

2008-09-21T11:06:00.003-08:00

Hey everybody,
I wanted to post this video that we made for orientation this year. Our goal was to show new students what SGA is and what we do. I hope you enjoy. Nate helped us tremendously as our head writer and director. Dustin our treasurer (the guy with the long hair) also helped edit our film.

Cast:
Melissa- President
David (lead actor)- VP of Student senate
Adam- Office Consultant (one of the drink-sharers)
Sarah- Director of Campus Activities (another drink sharer)
Megan- Executive secretary (answers the phone)
Dustin- Executive treasurer (long hair)
Sam- Student Chaplain

YES!

2008-09-08T18:10:00.003-08:00

Do you ever read something and you feel like your heart leaps up and shouts, "Yes!"? Well, this hit me that way:

God loved you before you were born, and God will love you after you die. In Scripture God says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." This is a very fundamental truth of your identity. This is who you are whether you feel it or not. You belong to God from eternity to eternity. Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say, "I love you, too."

If you dare to believe that you are beloved before you are born, you may suddenly realize that your life is very, very special. You become conscious that you were sent here just for a short time, for twenty, forty, or eighty years, to discover and believe that you are a beloved child of God. The length of time does not matter. You are sent into this world to believe in yourself as God's chose one and then to help your brothers and sisters know that they also are beloved sons and daughters of God who belong together. You're sent into this world to be a people of reconciliation. You are sent to heal, to break down the walls between you and your neighbors, locally, nationally, and globally. Before all the distinctions, the separations, and the walls built on foundations of fear, there was unity in the mind and heart of God. Out of that unity, you are sent into this world for a little while to claim that you and every other human being belongs to that same God of Love who lives from eternity to eternity.

Henri Nouwen. Finding my Way Home:Pathways to Life and the Spirit. pg 129-130. Crossroad Publishing Company.

New

2008-09-04T14:22:00.006-08:00

Classes have resumed. Schedules have picked up. Responsibilities gladly welcome themselves back into my life.
This year is going to be good. I remember before I went back to school last year I had this feeling that it was going to be vastly different than the two previous years. It was. It was by far the hardest, most stressful year I've had ever (dramatic, i know). This year feels much, much better. For the most part it is because of my very intentional scaling back of responsibilities and activities. Goodbye, choir, highland singers, and Greek class. I am only taking 13 hours this semester. That is the smallest amount I've ever taken. At the same time add on 6 office hours a week for SGA, not including meetings, and leading the Student Chaplain group. Now things are a little more balanced.
With all this time on my hands I have had time to do things I love; I have built and strengthened relationships and had a lot of time to be enriched spiritually. I also have time to do my homework excellently. I did not have that time last year. You may recall several posts about staying up all night to finish papers. I have also had time to do something new, which inspired the title of this post.
I joined a gym. I not only joined a gym, I have been going to the gym. I have never belonged to a gym. I did some athletics in high school, but that is it. I decided that I missed being in shape and wanted to be healthier. So I started going. So far it has been good (granted I am only 3 days in), but my abs are burning!
The first day I went to the gym I was pretty anxious. There were guys there who were using free weights that totalled more than my body mass. Everyone there seemed to know what to do. I felt really aimless. I didn't know how I should work out or how to use certain machines. Luckily I had Nate, his roommate, Matt, and Allie, a wonderful girl that I have many classes with. They all showed me the ropes. Now I am just trying to set up a routine and some goals for myself.
Exciting times.
In conclusion, yay for setting priorities, sticking to them, and having time for wonderful things and people.

"Flesh and Bone make my home"

2008-08-04T16:02:00.004-08:00

That is one of my weirdest post titles ever! It connects though. You'll see.
I was reading through my old journal that encompasses most of the last school year. I found an entry that I really liked and thought I would share.

October 5th, 2007

So I did my Bible study last night (On the theme of Immanuel seen throughout the Bible) and it went well. The Bible study was about the temple Solomon built and how God had a promised, designated place for people to worship, sacrifice, pray and repent. We then talked about the new covenant implications found in 1 Corinthians 3:16-17:

"Do you not know that you are a temple of God

and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

If any man destroys the temple of God,

God will destroy him, for the temple of

God is holy, and that is what you are."

The first thing is that we are a new temple. We don't need (or want!) a geographic location to go to if we need to pray, worship, repent, etc. God has found a new dwelling place inside every believer. What is so beautiful is that first, though God chose to not be boxed in to one geographic location, He chose to make His dwelling place, His temple, even in my walls of flesh. What is amazing is that, just like in Solomon's temple, God has made a promise to be there 24/7. There aren't visiting hours in this temple. It doesn't have vacation days.

What stuck out to me is that God chose to make His temple within the human frame. He is there, and we are still His temple, now matter what we feel. Whether we feel lost, doubting, ashamed, fantastic, on fire, so-so, persistent, or any other emotion He is there.

When God chose to build His temple this time, He chose not brick, stones, fancy tapestries, fine gold pieces, elaborate altars or lamp stands. He chose walls of flesh, altars of physical and emotional brokenness, the decoration of our uniquely made hearts, souls, minds, and spirits, and the worship, the songs of an in-process, renewed people.

He chose to make His dwelling place in the weak, broken, sinful, needy human frame.

He promised to hear, forgive, restore, show mercy, and accept sacrifice and praise and that is what He is doing.

"But will God indeed dwell with mankind on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain You; how much less this house which I have built." 2 Chronicles 6:18

Happenings

2008-07-28T17:55:00.006-08:00

I haven't posted much recently...except the post I just posted. But I thought I'd catch you up on what is going on.

Enjoy my photo montage.

About one week after I visited Nate and my Sterling friends and Camp friends I knew from last year at Westminster Woods. The whole staff was part of my prayer team for the trip so I went and talked about my experience and hung out. It was great!

For the first two weeks in July, I was in California with Nate. We went for his sister Katie's wedding (which was beautiful). I went to meet his entire family. They are all really wonderful. They love me and I love them.

While in California Nate and I also spent time at the beach,
I'm Ariel!
Fixed a gnarly flat we got on the way back from the beach,

and hung out with Nate's Filipino brothers. We also spent a lot of time with Nate's parents. That was great since neither one of us gets to see them much!

Katie and Arash's wedding was a blast! It was really neat as they designed the whole ceremony themselves and all of their bridal party members were involved in some way. They also mixed in traditional Iranian wedding traditions as Arash's family is from Iran. Did I mention their wedding was on a cliff overlooking the pacific ocean? Needless to say it was gorgeous, and their decorations were beautiful as well. We also had a rad dance party consisting of Nate's side of the family and Arash's mom (who was sweet and a whole lot of fun)! The only problem with weddings is that you hardly get to see the bride and groom (and the bride and groom don't get to eat much). Thankfully, Katie and Arash planned a beach day the day after their wedding for the families to hang out some more.

After I came home I had a few days before I went to Manhattan for Ellen's Wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony that was perfectly 'Ellen and Tony'. Ellen is by far the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. I am not exaggerating. It was a small wedding with a reception at the trendy coffee house where Ellen works.

This past weekend the parents and I went up to KC to visit the family. Ang also wrote about it on her blog .
This is my niece Zoey. She is beautiful and very different than Jackson. See Ang's blog for more.

Right now I am getting ready for school. My responsibilities this year have shifted slightly. I am still the SGA student Chaplain, but now I have the added responsibility of leading a group of 20 other student chaplains. I proposed a new Student Chaplain structure at the end of last year and worked with our campus pastors to develop it further. This year I am seeing what was once on paper take on flesh and bone. I'm excited to train, encourage, and lead this team throughout the next year. It will be challenging. I've never done anything like this before and never really thought I would.

Just for fun, I am finally posting the picture of my bouquet-catch from David and Whitney's wedding.

This is me thinking, "Is that really coming to me? Really? I don't even have to move. This is hilarious."

Tidbits from my mind: Culture Shock

2008-07-28T17:26:00.004-08:00

Before I went on my trip this summer I read up on working in cross-cultural contexts. All of those books warned me about re-entry or reverse shock. Wikipedia describes reverse culture shock as:

" Returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as [culture shock experienced when entering a different culture] "

I was plenty prepared to experience culture shock going to Asia, but realized on the plane coming home that I wasn't as prepared coming home from Asia. So far it hasn't been too rocky but I have experienced many of the symptoms of reverse culture shock.

Here are a few things I've thought or experienced recently:

Choices: While I was shopping at Target, I was overwhelmed at my choices.

10 different kinds of Cat litter.

ailes full of different chips, coffees, candies, butter, cleaning solutions, frozen dinners.

I found myself thinking, "Why do we need so many choices!"

Waste- It is amazing how much food we throw away.

Immigrants: Americans treat immigrants (from any country), especially those in service-related industries, like they are sub-human.

Shopping: Those who know me know that I've never been a big shopper. The mall was never my favorite place. Now shopping trips of any kind have become guilt-trips. I go into clothing stores and see the labels say Made in 'insert any Asian country'. I've been there. I've met people like the people who sewed this garment/put together this table/assembled these shoes. Some of the kids I worked with could end up in factories sewing clothes for me. More than making me want to become someone who has their own garden and sews their own clothes, it has made me more aware of where my money is going and makes me question why my money should go there.

Crying: I am more sensitive to things. Every time a commerical about orphaned children who have to take care of their siblings at a young age comes on I can't help buy cry. I am ok with that. I want my heart to stay tender towards those in need and acute to how God would have me respond.

Opportunity: I feel like I have new eyes for seeing opportunities that God has given me. I feel that my prayers, words, and actions have real weight and potential. Little things can make big differences.

These are all things that I am working through with God. I do not want to withdraw from culture here, nor boast that I know or care much more than the average person. I want to find that balance and make the changes that I need to make.

Vulnerable

2008-07-19T19:11:00.004-08:00

The other day I was thinking about vulnerability and what that really means, particularly in the life of a Christian.
I realized that it is those who we love and trust the most that have the greatest capacity to hurt us. Why? Because we have opened ourselves up to them: to be loved, rejected, surprised, disappointed, affirmed, encouraged or ignored.
I am not talking about abusive relationship by any means. I am talking about human relationships: parent-child, husband-wife, friend to friend.

Love makes us vulnerable. God-fueled love enables us to remain vulnerable without being victimized or becoming vengeful.

"For God so loved the world" - God truly made Himself vulnerable beyond our capacity of understanding by giving us His Son. Though Jesus was rejected, betrayed, slandered, hated, conspired against, and killed, He remains open, available, and vulnerable to us.

Jesus, who has so completely given of Himself and loved so passionately, has not only paved the way for us to experience His love, but to experience the love of the Father.

No matter what we've done, where we feel we've failed Him, how we've hurt others, God has shown us love and given us mercy if we ask for His forgiveness.

Tidbit of note: the word vulnerable came from a Latin word meaning 'to wound' or 'wounding'

More Pictures from Asia

2008-07-19T18:52:00.005-08:00

Sightseeing on the weekend

The whole gang from the first center we visited

Some of my favorite girls!

Craft time at the 2nd center

One of my favorites- it took me two days to say her name to her satisfaction- Hong (pronounced Hom, with a descending tone)

Some of my favorite guys

Craft time at the first center- symmetrical painting

Teaching the cha-cha

I am home.

2008-06-27T11:48:00.011-08:00

Hey everybody! I'm back from my three weeks in Asia.

Everything was great. God was answering mine and everyone's prayers for health, protection, and learning about His world.

For now I'll post some of my favorite pictures. Just a few snapshots of life in Asia. More will come when I have more time.

Ladies working out near the lake (notice the masses across the street)

Praying to confucious

Laundry

Cross at your own risk!

Yum! Tofu, shrimp, squid, eggs, cucumber, rice, fish, spring rolls.

The Fantastic Four: Amy, Kim, me, Kelly.

Kim and Amy are excited to eat eel soup.

A woman's bike

Fruit. Limes, Cong cong (cum cum), Lycee (our favorite), lemons, watermelon.

Motorbikes

What a week

2008-06-05T11:30:00.006-08:00

This all happened last week-

Monday- I was returning from a retreat in Colorado and was at ease about my hour and a half long flight back to Wichita. As we were preparing to land the pilot notified us that due to hail we could not land. Therfore we were going to wait in KC for the weather to clear. They let us off the plane into one of the gates at the KC airport. If you've ever been to the Kc airport you know that due to it's shape each gate has it's own security screening. That means once you're in the gate, you are stuck in the gate. So they let us off into a gate where there was no food or water and told us if we left the gate area we would risk losing our seat. A full plane of people locked in one area+ dinner time+no food/drinks=cranky

So we waited and waited. What was supposed to be 45 minutes turned into about 3.5 hours. At the end of the time they said that there was no way we'd go back to Wichita. That meant our options were flying back to Denver and flying to Wichita the next morning or staying in KC and flying from KC to Chicago to Denver to Wichita. Both meant finding your own hotel room with only a slight discount. I took option C: Call Ang and trav about 10:30 at night and stay at their house. So Trav picked me up and I slept on their couch. Mind you my bad was still on the plane going back to Denver. I stayed at their house until my Mom could come pick me up on Wednesday. Overall it was a good learning experience- this was the first time something like that had happened to me. And I managed to get $150 out of it for not taking their options, which none of the others who choose their own 'C' thought of. I even met a Jehovah's witness (who looked like Chandler Bing from Friends)!

Thursday- My great friend Ellen came by for a visit before summer gets crazy and she gets married (yay!). We drove to Wichita to shop and basically get out of Halstead. We were headed to dinner at a near by shopping plaza. I turned into the shopping plaza when I saw a car coming into my lane. I slammed on my breaks and reached a complete stop. All I could do was watch as this person slammed into the left side of my car. As the car approached I saw this person reaching into the back of her car, obviously not watching.

Once we crashed she got out of her car and starting yelling everyone's favorite F word. I felt bad for her because she didn't look like she was having the best day or life situation. Then she went back to her car and pulled out a baby from the back seat. She was baby sitting him. Turns our he was fussy and she was checking on him when the crash happened. The good news was the following: No body was injured. She was driving a bug which wasn't tall enough to hit my lights. Her insurance is covering all my repairs ( a new front bumper, a new tire).

After getting all the info Ellen and I went to dinner and had a lovely time. Then on the way home my tire seemed to be making a funny noise. We stopped in front of a car maintence center (it's open sign was on, but it was closed) to check it out. There was definitely some sort of bolt or screw in my tire. So Ellen and I, being the strong females we are (with Dads who teach their daughters this stuff) set out to change the tire. Praise the Lord I have full spare! We got the spare down but hit a snag when the jack would not come out of it's tiny compartment in the wall. Just then a man and his girlfriend pulled up to pick up her car. He offered to help and changed the tire in a matter of minutes. Though l was really thankful for his help, Ellen and I were a bit sad we didn't get to show off our skills.

Friday-Cold of death strikes in the evening. Extremely sore throat, head ache, exhaustion, sinus pressure, high fever. I went to bed at 10pm, which has not been my bed time in about three years. Thankfully it was short lived. I've been taking medicine like crazy though. I've been gargeling, shooting stuff up my nose, taking mucinex, and general cold medicine. I've also been taking naps.

It was a crazy week. God was faithful through the whole thing. I was dumped in a city that I knew pretty well and had family. My friend Ellen was able to help me keep calm and walk me through the process after the accident. The accident is no big deal-minimal damage, no cost to us, not hike in my insurance. The cold is almost gone!

Three cheers for life experience!

God is good!

2008-05-14T17:52:00.002-08:00

God is good! Really, really good!
I just found this post that I had written in October and looking back I can see how God completely has led me through the entire process of going on an adventure with Him, even when I didn't realize it.
It's encouraging to see so many of my hearts longings answered so clearly (I'm sure God had a big part in putting those longings there).

If you know what my summer is like and want to know why I wrote what I did (see above)
Click here-Hungry for Adventure

Quick Update

2008-05-05T18:36:00.006-08:00

School has been over for a week now!!!- Nate came home and we hung out at my house waiting for Saturday (see below). We practiced music, watched episodes of the TV show Arrested Development, cooked dinner, saw friends, made some fabulous watercolor creations, played softball, went for a bike ride, and played games with my parents.

Wedding!!!- Some of our best friends from school got married this weekend! Congrats to David and Whitney!!! We were honored as they chose us to lead worship and play some other music at their wedding. We had a great time! It was a beautiful wedding and was a lot of fun too!
Did I mention that I caught the bouquet and Nate caught the garter? We did. I don't have pictures of that, but Nate does, so I'll post them sometime.

So now I'm at home. I've got a pretty good to-do list:
Un-pack from school
Throw away stuff I don't need (preparing to move in a month)
Start packing

A Psalm/Prayer

2008-04-20T10:06:00.004-08:00

O God, my God, You are the God of
Death to life
Chains to freedom
Brokenness to healing
Guilt to forgiveness.
You are the God who brings breath to dry bones; hope to a people without hope.

Lord, come and bring Your divine exchange to my life.
Awaken things within me that have been sleeping.
Let me wipe away the dust of complacency from my eyes.
Rinse away that which tricks me into thinking I can't come close to you.
Instead give me urgency, vision, and boldness.

Breathe, breathe, breathe into me!
Fill me with Your breath of life.
Let hope saturate my blood and flow through my veins;
always multiplying and bringing life to dead and broken places.

O God, My God, You are the God of nothing into something;
Come and bring Your divine upside downs into my life.

I want to be awake and alive!!!

I'm smitten...well, more than that actually

2008-04-07T16:31:00.011-08:00

I've been dating a wonderful, funny, talented man who loves Jesus (!!!) for almost 10 months now and yet some of you don't know anything about him because I don't write about him that much.

Well, I think it's time that I write about our relationship. I've held back in the past for several reasons:

No one wants to hear mushy relationship stuff all the time.

I'm not one of those people who stake their whole personality and life off of another person and wouldn't want to worry anyone.

I'm busy.

With that being said, here I go... complete with timeline appropriate photos.

First, here's some basic info about Nate:

He's a junior theatre major/ religion and philosophy minor who recently discovered his natural ability to interpret Greek and his love of Biblical studies. He's been a camp counselor tons! He's from Norco, CA. He plays drums and guitar. He's tall. He's awkward like me!

Nate and Sam: The Abridged Version

Nate and I had been close friends for two years before we started dating. We dated very briefly freshmen year (about 2 weeks) before I decided that the constant nauseous feeling I had was because I didn't have peace about being in this relationship. We broke up and I said, "I still want to be friends." Which was TRUE. I knew that though I couldn't be in a relationship with him that I had found a really great friend.

After about 2 days of post-break up awkwardness we couldn't handle it and forged ahead in our friendship.

From that point onward we had lots and lots of DTR's (the Sterling term for 'define the relationship'--this means going for a walk or sitting on park benches and talking about where each person is at and how they feel about the other person). Mostly they were caused by Nate really wanting to date me, me liking Nate but not liking Nate, me not wanting to be in a relationship, Nate respecting that, us remaining at our 'just friend' status. The DTR's varied between being hard, annoying, stressful, hilarious, and great.

God used that year and a half or so to draw us closer to Him and mature us. We also grew in our friendship.

In that time we:

Made up lots of inside jokes

Went on Choir tours together (see left: Nate and David-my two favorite guys. Enacting a scene from Baywatch in CA)

Won a swing dance competition

Played in praise band together

Had late night talks in the union

Hung out with my family

Hung out with our friends.

And just had fun!

And the best part is that the core of our relationship is our friendship. This past June we decided to date(there are so many different terms people use-courtship, dating, etc. I think the best way to explain it is that from the start we took our relationship seriously. We felt strongly that it could head towards marriage but still wanted to enjoy 'dating' and getting to know each other even more.) It was amazing to see how God prepared us to be in a deeper relationship with one another.

Nate is a huge blessing in my life. He is a confidant, someone who understands and shares my random sense of humor, and a wild man; he strives to be who God made him to be and won't be tamed by others.

Nate is also a great spiritual leader. He reminds me of the truth when I need to hear it. He prays for me and with me when I am discouraged. He constantly reminds me with his words and actions of God's love and mercy. I'm excited for whatever God has for us! As the famous line from the 80's said it, "The future is so bright, I've got to wear shades."

Here are some more pictures of us:

Personal Record

2008-03-13T02:23:00.004-08:00

It's 5:23 in the morning. I just finished a paper for my doctrine class. I started it today.
I've never put off a paper this far in my life (record #1).
I've never stayed up this late doing homework (record #2).
I've never been this awake at 5:25 and I haven't even had caffeine (record #3).

Never has record breaking been so exhausting.

Praise the Lord for Spring Break in a few days!!!

Be informed

2008-02-29T12:00:00.003-09:00

I get to vote this year and am trying to make the most of it. I'm still seeking out information on candidates and I strongly encourage you to do the same.

Check out these websites for more information:

www.glassbooth.org- Take quizes to find out which candidates you agree/disagree with and why.

www.rockthevote.com

Someone's listening to rap at work

2008-02-19T18:49:00.002-09:00

I went online to check the weather forecast for tomorrow and this is what I found:

Tonight: Increasing clouds, turning windy and sharply colder. Some patchy freezing drizzle or snizzle overnight. Lo: 20 Wind: SW/NE 15-30
Tomorrow: A chance of mainly morning light freezing drizzle or snizzle. Otherwise, clouds break for some sun. Very windy and sharply colder! (Early morning high of 36.) Hi: 26 Wind: NE 20-40Tomorrow Night: Mostly cloudy with a bitter wind. A chance of a light wintry mix. Lo: 17 Wind: NE 10-20

Something new

2008-02-13T19:59:00.005-09:00

Hey blog readers...whoever you may be!

I just added a new link to a website. My friend Molly and I posted this website to get the word out about our senior service project.

We're really excited about it but definitely need your prayer support!

We'll keep updating it as we get information.

Awake '08

Unattractive news: Kenya

2008-02-04T20:27:00.000-09:00

For the last month or so there has been this incredible clash amongst two tribes in Kenya. It all started with an election that is thought to be rigged. People have been killed. Families have been displaced. Just last week the leaders of the two opposing parties have announced plans to work together for peace.
Kenya has been on my heart lately and this story had me upset today. It also upset me that this isn't seen as important. It isn't newsworthy. Since it isn't getting much coverage anywhere else I'm posting it here.

Kenya School attacked

Everything you see is a gift from God

2008-02-04T11:27:00.000-09:00

This song is simple, child-like, and contains powerful truth. It's also catchy. It brings a smile to my face!

Life in your arms

2007-12-22T19:09:00.000-09:00

This break has been really good. Relaxing. Reading. Journaling. Napping. Christmas shopping in a fun and yet efficient way. Seeing old and cherished friends.
Right now I am with my family. It has been great. I love catching up on what has happened and what is happening in people's lives. Things can change so drastically in just a few months. Often times spending time with family and catching up with people starts with getting aquainted with all the changes that have occured. It's a process of remembering who they are, figuring out the balance between who you know them to be and who you see before you, with changes, questions, new opinions, new wisdom. But it's also leaving them space, that amazing freedom, to keep growing and changing.
Right now I am sitting in my sister's house rocking my niece Zoey's chair thing with my foot. When I glance over we catch eyes. She smiles and coos at me. I love being able to carry her around and letting her fall asleep in my arms. It's amazing that I can hold this life in my arms. I can rock her and swing her. And it amazes me to think that I will see her grow up, from toddler-hood to mother-hood. And now, for this fleeting and thus precious, moment I can still hold her in my arms.
I think babies do this to people. They make them pause and wonder and marvel at life in their arms, and thier own lives flying past them too.
(Watch out people, I'm having an advent/christmas moment.)
I think this is part of the reason God loved the idea, the reality, and the implications of sending His son into the world. God enters the world in weak human flesh as Jesus. He's fully God and yet so obviously man. You could hold him, rock him, kiss his cheek, sing him a lullaby. And all the while you know, well...Mary, Joseph, and a handful of others knew or recognized, that they were holding Life in their arms. And later in His life you could eat a meal with him, you could put your arm around him and feel him sweat. And then he would go and raise the dead or heal the lame and blind, or calm the storm, and you knew he was God. Life right there with you, Life was your friend.
I'm so thankful for those chances that come along. Those chances to know that something marvelous and significant and once-in-a-lifetime is happeinging. The word in greek I think that fits so well here is Kairos. Kairos means-the perfect time, the fullness of time or as one of my professors has said, "that moment when earth's time and purpose intersects with God's time and purpose", it's when you feel that something holy, precious, and wonderful has happened.
I'm so glad that God has given me so many chances to slow down and recognize those Kairos moments, whether I'm holding Zoey or talking for hours on end with an old friend. I'm so thankful that God loves to interupt our lives, schedules, and thoughts just in time.

More funnies

2007-12-03T12:35:00.000-09:00

Godzilla and Mothra-An Average Weekend

"What do you want to do this weekend?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"DESTROY THE CITY!!!"

For your viewing pleasure

2007-12-02T07:05:00.000-09:00

Since I don't have much time to update these days (this is my last week of classes before finals) I've decided to post some cartoons I drew this summer. They are really random snapshots of how I often imagine things. That being said, you might think they don't make sense. No offense taken. I hope you enjoy them though!

This is called "Bear Attack"

"Once, twice, three times a she-bear"

"This guy had a lot of problems. Until tonight bear attacks wasn't one of them."

Nancy Kerrigan Halloween

More cartoons to come later

Is it Thanksgiving break yet?

2007-11-14T17:58:00.001-09:00

I could really use a break.
Last weekend our small singing group, Highland Singers, went on a 4 day tour around eastern KS, mostly the Kansas City area. It was a great time and the best music tour experience I've had thus far. We became close as friends and became tight musically. It was a good tour, but we did miss two days of class and didn't have time to do homework. So I've been playing catch up this week. It's really a scramble sometimes.

This weekend I'm heading up to Kansas City again for our semi-annual trip to the International House of Prayer. I'm excited because a big group is going (25) and many have never been before. Also, I'm not in charge! That is a good feeling, especially when there is some sort of snag with the trip planning. I'm not being held responsible. It is also a hard feeling sometimes because I wish I could just take control and straighten it all out, or go back in time and help my friends (including my roommate and my boyfriend and another good friend) plan for all these snags about a month ago. It is times like this when I realize how much of a greedy power-monger I am. God is teaching me a lot about that. I'm excited for a slight break at one of my favorite places! I'm anticipating the work that God is going to do in these students lives. Some amazing things came out of our past trips.

That is all the updates you get for now.

I guess it is good that my degree is in youth ministry

2007-11-02T12:40:00.000-08:00

St. Bernard of Clarivaux

2007-10-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

Was an interesting cat. Right now (literally. I am 'taking a break' from my paper) I am writing a paper about his theological contributions. Here are a few quotes from him that I found particularly beautiful or interesting:

"I ask no further pledge of righteousness if he is one my side whom alone I have offended. If he decrees that a sin is not to be imputed to me, it is as if it never existed."

"You will not pray aright, if in your prayrs you seek anything but the Word, or seek him for the sake of anything but the Word; for in him are all things. In him is healing for your wounds, help in your need, resotration for your faults, resources for your further growth; in him is all that men should ask or desire, all they need, all that will profit them. There is no reason therefore to ask anything else of the Word, for he is all."

"Although the creature loves less, being a lesser being, yet if it loves with its whole heart nothing is lacking, for it has given all."

Hungry for adventure

2007-10-17T18:47:00.001-08:00

I don't know what precisely is going on in my heart. It is a random, itching, "somethings about to happen", kind of feeling that rises up in me. The feeling is a hunger for adventure--to do soemthing meaningful, daring, maybe a little weird or stupid looking--for God. The condundrum is "What is God trying to tell me or show me? Where or to what is God leading me?".

I feel the need for a pilgramage. Getting out there--seeing a little bit of the world before the demands of adulthood come down on me--allowing God to take me way out of my comfort zone.

So far this pilgramage has been spiritual. God has been working on my heart intensely, with passion and jealousy for all of my love. Times have been tough, really tough at times. I've cried so much this semester it's nuts. Don't worry, I'm not depressed. It's actually an answer to prayer as I have asked God to soften my heart and to help me allow myself to feel, even when it hurts. I don't want a heart of stone! I've also had amazingly sweet and refreshing times in His presence. God is already taking me on an adventure as He calls me to join Him in what He is doing and where He is going, despite my fears and doubts. I'll have to write more about what God is doing in my heart. Remind me!

But, at the same time, I feel this stirring to go somewhere! I don't know where. I am still praying about it and seeing what God wants to do with my summer.
I don't know what it is. I think partly it's a desire for something different, partly a desire to be radically in love with God, and partly to be more independent and get away to something foreign to everyday life.

I just want this summer to be different. Every summer I end up feeling like my time could've been used better. Since I've gone to school my friends in town have all moved away and I feel isolated from my peers during the summer. I want to spend my time wisely, grow closer to God and be stretched in my faith, and get to know more people my age.

I'm checking out my options and praying about it. We'll see what happens.

Pray for the Middle East

2007-10-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

Check out this article from the BBC Turkish MPs back attacks in Iraq.

Much needed rest

2007-10-11T15:19:00.001-08:00

I'm headed home this weekend with several goals in mind:

Get lots and lots and lots of homework done.- I have a feeling that next week, homecoming at Sterling, will be crazy. School doesn't stop during this week, but craziness grows exponentially as time to do things becomes more and more limited. And one of my professors chose to have a paper due that Thursday. Hopefully I will be able to work way, way ahead this weekend.
Me time- I don't get a lot of that right now. Hopefully I will have more time to sleep, read for fun, take baths, play piano for fun, have more time to be with God, and other wonderful self-care type stuff.
Be away from everyone and everything- That's how I handle stress. I remove myself from the situation or environment. I'm also introverted in a lot of ways so having time to not be around others and enjoy living in my head should be beneficial.
I'm also reevaluating my current schedule-it turns out I don't have a lot of time for the things and people I love. My challenge is working around fixed times like classes, office hours, meetings, practices, and Bible studies.

This was my #1 fear about parenting...until I read this article

2007-09-27T16:42:00.001-08:00

I found this treasure on msn.com

check it out

So it's been a little crazy: School

2007-09-12T11:07:00.000-08:00

It has been a really long time since I've posted anything. I'll try and give some recaps of what has been going on--it won't be too in depth because there is so much. I think I'll do this in sections for easy reading

School- School is great, though incredibly busy. For example here is the schedule of my busiest day:
Monday
wake up 7:00am
Class- 8:00-1:00
Office Hours: 1:15-2:15
Free time: 2:15-3:45
SGA Meeting 4:00-5:30ish
Dinner 5:30-6:00
Get ready for meeting 6:00-6:30
Senate Meeting 6:45-8:30
Homework: 8:45-11:00
Time for people: 11:00-12:00ish
Bed: sometime between 12:00 and 1:00

My classes are going well. I'm taking Greek and am really enjoying it. It is challenging and I feel like this will be really useful in my personal devotions and future educational endeavors (seminary maybe. I don't know). I'm also taking Church History I. It's really amazing to see how different theology emerged in the midst of controversy and heresy. So far the homework isn't too bad, but I need to work ahead on things.

Because I'm so busy it is hard to find time to spend with people. I am slowly building relationships with new students. That is hard because I love being connected with the Sterling community and feel like that the greatest way to impact people is not from my desk in the SGA office (not to downplay the importance of having this position at all!) , but by being in the everydayness of life with people.

My responsibilities as SGA student chaplain are going well. Sometimes there are little tasks like running the projector and powerpoint things during chapel. Right now I'm focusing on forming our 3rd praise band from scratch. It's brand new with brand new people. Also, I am seeking God's guidance on how to best minister to the rest of the SGA Executive Cabinet team. There are very few people on campus who truly understand the sacrifice of time, energy, and personal interests that SGA makes for this campus. I'm mostly focusing on encouraging them, praying for them, and giving them the resources they need to thrive in their personal relationship with God. I am learning a lot! And God is humbling me more than I had anticipated. I'm also preparing to lead a Bible study in my dorm, which will start next week.

So there it is. Life has been a little crazy at School.

Back to School

2007-08-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

In 9 days I will return to school for leadership training and orientation planning. It's amazing that the summer is already coming to a close. My summer was not at all what I had expected. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to The Call. I thought I would have more time up at the IHOP. I thought I would have more free time. I didn't plan on going to California. I didn't think I would ever be a camp counselor (more to come on that).

Though it wasn't necessarily what was expected it was a really wonderful summer. God taught me a lot about leadership, service, relationships, perseverance, and youth ministry. I know that even the smallest experiences I've had this summer God will use to teach me or help me during the school year.

Next year is going to be so different. I can feel it. I'm going to be an upper class men. The campus will be different (due to the natural ebb and flow of new students and friends who have graduated). I'm in more prominent positions of leadership. I am leading one praise band this year (there are two) and am President over our Praise Band organization. I'm head student chaplain. Part of my job as student chaplain is being a member of the Student Government's executive cabinet which means meetings, helping christian organizations on campus, helping with Wednesday and Sunday chapel services, assessing the spiritual needs of the campus and finding ways to provide for those needs. The other part includes providing leadership, underneath our two campus pastors, for the student chaplain team, leading Bible studies, and whatever else might come up. I'm really excited for this opportunity and desire to honor and follow God's leadership, knowing His heart for this campus.

Aside from titled roles this year will be different as I have two years left and myself and my peers are starting to think about the future. Suddenly the idea of independence and adulthood take on new meanings as they become much more than just moving away from home and going to school. We've got a lot to learn. Also, my best friend of two years, a wonderful and godly man, is now my boyfriend. It will be a fun challenge learning to balance our relationship with all of our responsibilities (he is also a chaplain this year among other things) and honor God with our relationship.

Above all, all these unknowns and unexpected have helped me learn to trust God's perfect leadership. I'm excited to see how and where He will bring me to the "what's" this year.

Thoughts on The Call...a month later

2007-08-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

A month ago I was flying into Nashville to meet two friends from school Cayla and Ben. It's amazing to think of all that took place during that one day and all that has happened since. Looking back it all seems so surreal. I know that The Call was a turning point, not only for me but for the Church and the nation, even though the full impact has yet to be seen. It's difficult to even put into words all that I experienced and all that God did but I will try.
The morning of the 7th we got up early and hopped a taxi with a few others from our hotel. We were meeting with thousands of others for a repentance walk. The walk was a 2.7 mile walk down Church Street from the park to the stadium. The focus of the repentance walk was not to point fingers at sinners on our way but to repent for our own sins and for the sins of the Church. Lou Engle said before the march (paraphrase), "The reason we have no voice in our culture is that we are consumed by the same sins as those outside of the Church."
Thousands of people started the day on their faces weeping, interceding, and repenting.

Then we started to walk. The whole walk was done in complete silence and as we started walking through the grass it sounded like rushing water, which reminded me of the passages in scripture about a "voice like many waters." It was so powerful to be united in repentance and prayer as we walked down Church street. As we got closer to the stadium we could hear the music and the voices singing "Holy, Holy, Holy." We walked into the stadium and moved from repentance to praise.

The Call officially started at 10am with corporate repentance and forgiveness. Leaders from various people groups would ask for forgiveness for the sins that group had committed against other groups. For example, white leaders asked for forgiveness from Native Americans and African Americans for the sins committed against them. Once this happened specific ethnic groups were asked to stand and we prayed for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Typically I am not one to cry or like crying but I couldn't help weeping most of the morning. That morning my tears became my repentance, praise, and intercession.

Throughout the rest of the day we would transition from worship, intercession, confession, personal and group prayer, and short lessons on themes of The Call. I received a huge breakthrough and freedom from past sins. I had waited so long to be free from that sin which hurt me and caused injury to other relationships. That was a huge part of what God did in me during The Call. I left feeling free and new.

God also used The Call to remind me who I am in Him and what I am called to do. It was very encouraging.
Another powerful part of the day was corporate communion. We all took communion together and committed ourselves to the Lord.

Worship was also powerful that day. The expression of 'warring in worship' was definitely the case. Since a-capella with 50,000 people is also something I highly recommend. Most of the time we would be gloriously stuck singing "Holy, Holy, Holy!" for long periods of time. I think that when God brings so many together to consecrate themselves to Him that is the most fitting thing to sing.

Just a week or so ago I received another huge breakthrough of feeling God's presence, enjoying being with God, and receiving revelation on the Word again. It's been months, starting maybe a year ago and really intensifying in February. He was faithful to lead me, teach me, and strengthen me during this time. I feel like the verse "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" Ps 27:13 was so true. There were so many times where my only choice was to cling to the truth of His word that He would reveal Himself again. He is so good!

P.S. I'll probably post some pictures of the event soon.

I'm back

2007-07-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

Hey. I just returned from The Call in Nashville! (California was great by the way). It was one of the most beautiful, powerful, life-changing days I've had in my life. I'm still processing everything. I'll have to give a full update once I journal, reflect, and rest up. Until then I leave you with what happened towards the end of the day (There was a repentance walk at 7am, The Call started at 10 and ended at 10=long day)
Watch:

Stop Animation=Cool

2007-06-29T09:54:00.000-08:00

If only my middle school flip books were as cool.
Click here

Disclaimer: At one point one of the guys is in his tidy-whities. Nothing too inappropriate. Just a warning.

Unexpected Traveling

2007-06-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

I am coming to California in two days! That is pretty crazy! Though I am excited to come I wish it were under better circumstances.
My best friend of two years, recently turned boyfriend, Nate is from Norco. His grandmother died yesterday from colon cancer. It happened really fast. A few weeks ago she started feeling bad, last week they diagnosed it as cancer, and Sunday they gave her a few days to live. Nate was incredibly close to his grandmother and is really missing her. From all the stories I've heard she was an incredible lady and I am sad that I did not get to meet her. Nate is currently finishing his last week camp counseling at Westminster Woods. This will be the first time he has been home since Spring Break. I am heading out with him Saturday to the funeral and will hang around a few days.
It will be interesting because I get to meet all of his family (it's own unique circumstance) but they are also in the middle of grieving. I do know his parents and sister already so I won't be completely lost. I'm expecting the unexpected. I hope that while I'm there I can help with some of the little things of daily life. In times like these there is so much going on that things fall to the wayside. I hope I can ease their burdens a little and get to know them a little better in the process as well. Pray for us as we travel and for Nate's family as they gather and celebrate a life.

Never let your gaurd down....

2007-06-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

Even though squirrels are cute, the are vicious (apparently).
Take a peak at this article titled Squirrel goes on rampage .

He wasn't kidding about being Jealous

2007-06-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

"Put me like a seal over your heart,

Like a seal on your arm

For love is as strong as death,

Jealousy is as severe as Sheol

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

The very flame of the LORD.

"Many waters cannot quench love,

Nor will rivers overflow it;

If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love,

It would be utterly despised."

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (NASB)

This verse is one that I have been meditating on recently. This comes from the book Song of Solomon or Song of Songs (your preference). It's a book you don't often hear about in church. There are typically two views about this book- 1.) This is a book about the intimacy and beauty in a marriage. This is to be taken more literally.

2.) This book is an allegory about Christ's love for the Church. Everything in the book stands for something else. It can be taken metaphorically as a believer's walk into deeper intimacy with God.

I think that it's a combo of two. Since God designed earthly marriage to be like the relationship between Christ and the Church (see here) I think that we can look at this book literally but also see past what is obvious and see Christ's love for the church. That being said (wow, really long intro) these are my thoughts on this verse.

First off, it becomes obvious that this love is not romantic-movie-love or fairy-tale love. This is not an average love. This love is like a flame, like the very flame of God. Water's cannot extinguish it. It isn't something that we can control. When it becomes inconvenient or hard we can't merely 'throw water on it', or even throw it into a river, and expect it to go out.

This love doesn't behave in ways we understand or like in our humanity.

It is stronger than death- it last forever and love really has the final word.

It is jealous as Sheol (the grave)- this love won't let us run to other lovers.

This love won't wash away when we feel it is getting too hot.

This love isn't impressed or controlled by our wealth.

Like it says in verse 7 "...If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love it would be utterly despised." It's not something you can buy and own as long as you want. One can never own (or control) love with wealth. Love, however, often call us to give up those things we can buy or 'earn' with our money. It's almost mocking the temporariness of money.

Because love is this way, especially God's love, something like this "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (see verses here), three separate times. Because this love is so serious it shouldn't been awakened until the proper time.

This definitely applies to human relationships. It's never good to rush into relationships or marriage before the proper time. (If you want advice on when that is or how you know go find some mature married people).

I also think this applies to our relationship with God. God is the author and perfecter of our faith, not us. He knows at what pace to set us at and where we need to go. He knows what we can handle. That doesn't mean that we don't have our share of responsibility. It's ok to trust God with the process. He's been doing it for a long time.

It especially makes me think of new believers. It's easy to want to teach them everything right away and want them to understand. But it is better to trust God to 'awaken love' and bring them closer to Himself how and when he wants.

Just some thoughts. Not exactly fully formed or anything.

Second verse same as the first

2007-05-29T17:16:00.000-08:00

In prep for the call see here .

By the way, the first fast was incredibly successful (in God's eyes). That doesn't mean I didn't mess up sometimes (that's when you push delete and start over). God met me in my hunger. Yay! I pray that He does it again!

Fasting!!!

2007-05-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

I am heading to The Call this summer and I am way excited to be partnering with God's heart and interceding for my generation and this nation. Here is some more information about the 40 day fast leading up to The Call. Be sure to check out www.thecall.com for more information. If God lays it on your heart please pray for those who choose to fast, for the grace to fast and press into Jesus, as well as praying for the event itself (they are expecting 100,000 people to come).

God has graciously raised up Lou Engle to call America to a 40 day fast. Lou has mobilized thousands of leaders who are committed to this vision as well. All the major Christian TV networks are announcing it to get the word out - it is time for America to fast and pray as a nation. The article below, written by Lou, explains the urgency behind this initiative. The IHOP-KC family is standing with The Call and believers during these 40 days. Please forward this to everyone you know who has a heart for America.
www.fastandpray.com

There are moments in history when a door for massive change opens, and great revolutions for good or evil spring up in the vacuum created by these openings. In these divine moments, key men, women and even entire generations risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point that determines which way the door will swing.

The rebellious generation of the ’60s seized its moment, and history crashed into the deep abyss of drug addiction, sexual immorality, hatred for authority and a rejection of the law of God. In 1967, there was a culminating and defining moment in that rebellion, when 100,000 young people, ages 15–25 flocked to San Francisco to experience the hippie movement. This mass convergence was sparked by the hit song, “San Francisco” (Wear a Flower in your Hair). Once there, these young adults experimented with LSD, pot, casual sex and Eastern mysticism in what became known as the “Summer of Love.”

When these newly recruited ‘Flower Children’ returned home at the end of the summer, they brought with them new styles and ideas, flooding the cities of the US and Europe with a message that opposed authority and scorned conservative morals. This counterculture rebellion was fueled by music and art, which rapidly shifted global culture.

For 40 years, we have been falling headlong into a black moral morass in America along with the western world. We are reaping the waves of destruction in every sector of our post Christian society. Can America survive another 40 years? We are declaring “NO! A thousand times NO!” Unless a massive spiritual shift occurs at this moment, our children will live under an antichrist system and Godless enculturation that will bring about the demise of America, as we know it.

But God has a prescription for such a massive shift and it is revealed in the power of the great transitional 40-day fast. God, in His sovereign control over the parade of history, delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. Longing to release a moral code that would give foundations for righteousness, for time and eternity, God summoned Moses to a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai. Through this fast, all of history changed and the law of God was delivered from Heaven to Earth. Therefore, if America is going to return to God, it must recover that law again as its foundation for truth.

Elijah, at the height of Jezebel’s cultic dominion over Israel fasted 40 days, broke the spell of Jezebel off of his own life and received a mandate to anoint the next generation. Elijah’s fast unleashed a movement that toppled Jezebel’s regime of hell, which perpetrated the destruction of family, the killing of innocent children, the silencing of the voice of God’s people and the widespread culture of sexual immorality. The fruit of this fast culminated in the utter destruction of Baal worship in Israel.

Also in the fullness of time, the Glorious Gospel era was born when Jesus fasted 40 days and those who sat in darkness saw a great light. Clearly the 40-day fast is Heaven’s great transitional prescription, moving nations from failure to fulfillment of promise. Is it any surprise that when Jesus was to enter into His great sacrifice—where death would be swallowed up in victory—Elijah and Moses appear with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration. All three were together as the 40-day fasters. They presided over the great transitions of history.

When the Israelites were poised to move into the Promise Land, spies were sent out for 40 days. When they returned carrying an evil report, a whole generation was infected with unbelief and they turned their back on the Promise Land. God’s sentence on that generation was “And your sons shall be wanderers in the wilderness for forty years and bear the brunt of your infidelity until your carcasses are consumed in the wilderness. According to the number of the days in which you spied out the land forty days, for each day you shall bear your guilt one year, namely forty years, and you shall know my rejection.” (Numbers 14:33–34) It was 40 years of judgment for 40 days failure.

Conversely, the great prophet Ezekiel received a 40-day prayer assignment for a 40-year failure of Judah’s iniquity. “Lie again on your right side, then you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Judah, forty days I have laid on you a day for each year.” (Ezekiel 4:6) It was clearly 40 days prayer for 40 years of failure.

When Jesus fasted 40 days and was tempted of the devil He quoted from the book of Deuteronomy saying “It is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” And again, “You shall not tempt the Lord thy God” and again, “You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you worship.” Jesus, in His victory over Satan, was quoting the book of Deuteronomy, the portion of scripture delivered by Moses to the generation who failed in the desert. Jesus, in His 40-day fast, was clearly identifying with that passage of scripture and the generation that came out of Egypt. As an intercessor in His 40-day fast, Jesus was fulfilling what a generation had failed in for 40 years.

Forty years are up! Could the Church of America in a 40-day fast deliver a nation out of a 40-year curse? We have scriptural precedent to believe for such a turning! Therefore, we are trumpeting a call to 40 days of fasting like Moses, Elijah, Ezekiel and Jesus. We must bear the iniquity in 40 days of fasting and intercession for the past 40 years of divorcing God in America, embracing a culture of sexual immorality, hedonism, materialism, abortion and the rejection of Christ in public places. But we are also calling for 40 days of fasting and prayer for the greatest outbreak of Kingdom power, in signs and wonders, and the spiritual awakening in America that will collide with this present darkness and topple its cultural dominion over our people. Thousands went on 40-day fasts in 1946 and in 1947, the great healing revivals broke out. In 1948, the Latter Rain outpourings began, Bill Bright and Billy Graham’s ministries were born, and Israel became a nation. Could it be that the 40-day fast preceded this explosion of power by the Spirit? After Jesus’ 40-day fast, the scripture says He returned in the power of the Spirit. Yes the promise of Joel 2 is that after the fast, “I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh…”

Forty years ago, in 1967, the Jesus Movement broke out. A youth revival started on the streets swept across the country, exploding on college campuses and coffee houses. People were being saved everywhere. Now 40 years later, we are crying out for God to do it again, way beyond the Jesus Movement!

In 1967, in a war and obviously by the supernatural hand of God, Jerusalem was taken and once again brought under the control of the state of Israel. This was a monumental signpost in the shifting of eras. The dispensation of the times of the Gentiles was now beginning to shift to the times when Jerusalem will become the last days focus for God’s activity in the Earth. For 40 days, we are joining Israel in a 40-day fast crying out to God that Israel would see their Messiah and they would begin to receive their greatest spiritual awakening since the days of the Apostles.

Brothers and sisters, moments like these come only once in a lifetime. To miss such a moment could mean missing the purpose of God for a generation. The generation that refused to cross over the Jordan did not know that they had only one day to make the decision, and missing that day meant 40 years in the desert.

Even now we are receiving reports that other countries are calling 40-day fasts. Could we be in a Global 40-day season of fasting (like Jesus), to see a global outbreak of light when great darkness is covering the Earth? Beginning the evening of May 28, we are calling two generations to 40 days of fasting and prayer culminating on 7–7–07, the perfection of time. In a massive, national gathering of fasting, intercession, repentance and worship, we seek to declare our desire to remarry the Lord. We want to cross over into the promise land of national revival. We want to break this 40-year curse. May thousands seek God in water, juice and Daniel fasts from May 28 through 7–7–07, The Call in Nashville.
What would happen in America if for 40 days we sealed the electronic cultural sewer that flows nightly into our living rooms and instead, spent our strength seeking the Lord? What if tens of thousands of fathers and mothers across our nation fasted for 40 days repenting and cleansing themselves of inward toleration of sexual immorality, pornography, addiction to food, entertainment and materialism? What if they prayed daily for their spiritual and physical children to see them converted to Christ and freed from rebellion, from addictions, depression and suicide? What if the young generation fasted for 40 days to be cleansed from lust, media addiction and rebellion toward there parents, believing that a double portion of the Holy Spirit would come upon there lives?

Moses fasted 40 days and mentored a spiritual son named Joshua, which means the Lord saves. Elijah fasted 40 days and threw his mantle on a double portion son, Elisha, which means the Lord saves. Also, John the Baptist fasted in the desert and prepared the way for a double portion son named Jesus, which means the Lord saves. Jesus fasted 40 days and unleashed the apostolic glory of the eternal Son of God into the Earth. What if we are preparing a generation for the greatest day of salvation in history? And so, what if tens of thousands of both generations fast together and gather on 7–7–07 for The Call Nashville in LP Field, to cry out to God in a Joel 2 moment for great national returning to the Lord?

The parade of history has brought us into a profound generational landmark, and a great vacuum has opened again. If the church does not seize this moment, Muslims will! Antichrist rage will! Sexual perversion will! Anarchy will! But now is the time for key men and women, even an entire generation to risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point which determines which way the door will swing in America and in the nations of the Earth. It's 40 Days or 40 Years—seize the day!

We will be launching this fast with a worldwide simulcast on GOD TV on May 26, 2007. For all information on the 40-day fast and The Call Nashville please visit our websites.40 Days for 40 Years

Ponderings of late...

2007-05-23T19:17:00.000-08:00

No big ta da or anything. This is what I have been thinking about, studying, praying through.

In the prologue of John the idea of Jesus being the Word and the Light of men is introduced. From there it is elaborated on. (see for yourself here).
Here is an excerpt from my journal regarding Jesus being the Light:
"Personally, the phrase, "The Light has overcome the darkness." has been big for me.
I try to imagine this One in whom there is no darkness. I imagine this holy, inescapable, unstoppable light blasting sin and darkness from me.
I imagine that when we see Him or when He appears that many will shrink (1 John 2:28) from Him, much like when you turn on a light in a dark room where everyone is sleeping. How scary will it be when some look for relief in a shadow and only find light, light, light? When God appears no one can hide in the shadows any longer. Everything is exposed in the Light.

" This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:19-21

Another theme I am studying is healing in Jesus ministry.

Some things I am aiming to see are:

What are the pattern's Jesus established when He healed. (compassion. mercy. faith)
If Jesus only did what He saw the Father doing (see here) then what does this say about the Father.
To become familiar with these passages of scripture
To apply, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, these things to my life and ministry to others.

Lastly, here is something cool I found in an old journal (from Dec 16th, 2004)

Based on Romans 11:33

"The fact that we can understand the unknowable, search the unsearchable, and discern that which we could never before see is what makes His wisdom and knowledge so rich. It is valuable because we do not have the right to know, the capacity to understand, or the worth in ourselves to deserve the understanding of the things of God, but we can and we do. This is what makes this wisdom and knowledge infinitely valuable to our lives."

I heart adoption

2007-05-09T13:02:00.001-08:00

The concept of adoption can be tricky to grasp sometimes. For me, it was always a natural knowledge of my adoption and my parents love for me. However, there are times when I tell people I'm adopted and their reaction is usually :
1.) What? No way!
2.) The look that almost says, "Wow. I'm so sorry." (surely some images of orphans comes up in their minds)
and
3.) Barrage of questions regarding my adoption.
If it weren't for some good books to help straighten us out, our society would still have a weird look regarding adoption. Just kidding about that last part. In reality, adoption is seen more as a last resort for couples that cannot conceive. However, that is starting to shift, especially in the church. That makes me excited! My outlook on abortion and adoption has changed significantly in the last few years.
I grew up in a fairly liberal home and remember the family getting excited about bumper stickers that said, "Keep your laws off my body" and the like. Though my parents clearly supported adoption(my sister and I are both adopted) they also were (and still are) pro-choice, something that confused me, especially as a teen. It was natural for me to follow my parents lead and I considered myself pro-choice from a young age. That started to change after I became a Christian, went to a high-school that became the safe-haven for pregnant teens from the large city 30 miles away, and started to pray about these issues. I'm coming out of the liberal closet and letting you know I am pro-life (some people don't know that).
Before you get your panties in a bunch I want to explain some of my beliefs concerning adoption and abortion and why. I am not going to try argue the old arguments of "When does life begin?".

1.) Pro-life for all ages If you are going to be pro-life that includes babies as well as murderers. If you shouldn't have the choice to abort then you shouldn't have the choice to kill adults either. Pro-life means being anti-death penalty. I hope that you agree.

2.) A Culture of Life-If we want an end to abortion we need to cultivate, encourage, and participate in a culture of life now. It seems that a lot of people are upset with Christians who picket against abortion because they seem so apathetic towards the actual people dealing with these decisions and situations. If we want make abortion illegal or limit it through legislation we need to support adoption agencies, homes for teen-mothers, and the women in our everyday lives (tithing? Just a suggestion). We as the Church especially need to set the example of taking care of these women and children. We who have experienced the adoption into God's family( look here and here) can and should be the first to adopt and support this act of love and mercy. That means support families that are adopting and even adopting children into our own families.

3.) No child is illegitimate to God- I really hate this term' illegitimate' that our society uses for children born out of wedlock. In reality the word is defined as being born out of wed lock or illegal and unlawful. However, the unsaid meaning of this word can mean something as no good, worthless, or unwanted. No person is any of these things to God. He delights in His creation, "Then I was the craftsman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind." Proverbs 8:30.
With that being said, that doesn't mean that God delights in sin. I think that's pretty clear. Henri Nouwen says it best ,
"We often confuse unconditional love with unconditional approval. God loves us without conditions but does not approve of every human behavior. God doesn’t approve of betrayal, violence, hatred, suspicion, and all other expressions of evil, because they all contradict the love God wants to instill in the human heart. Evil is the absence of God’s love." -Bread For the Journey, 1996
4.) Judgment=death- "Wow! That is quite a bold statement", you might be thinking. Well, let me explain. From personal experiences I have see first hand the judgment upon those who have had a child out of wedlock. Sadly, I saw this mostly within the Church. While many were supportive of these people, many were not secretive with their opinions at all. At one point I had announced the birth of their child and asked for prayer as the baby was still in bad shape at the hospital. I think the prayer request was lost as they reeled in shock and objection of the situation. It was at that moment while I was sitting in my church pew, disappointed with the congregation that had shown a lot of love to me, that I realized how much I did the same thing.

As I said before, our high school became a haven for pregnant teen mothers who need a place to live out their pregnancy without friends knowing about it. I judged those girls harshly, thinking, "How could they be so stupid!" I realized that I should have been supporting these girls in their decision to keep their child or give it up for adoption. It dawned on me that it was judgments like this, attitudes like this, actions like this, that motivates women to abort their children. We as a society and as the Church so harshly condemn them, showing no grace, that out of shame, fear of rejection and humiliation these women feel like abortion is the only choice. (I know that there are special situations, but I think this is the majority of cases, especially among teens.) Once when I was talking with a pro-choicer they said, "Nobody, wants babies to die." True. So why don't we do something?

That being said, being pro-life is more that waving picket signs, protesting, bombing abortion clinics. In fact, I think it is none of those things. Being pro-life outwardly may look like supporting adoption agencies or people who are adopting, or helping mothers who choose not to abort. But mainly, being pro-life is an attitude and overflow of the heart. We can look as pro-life as possible on the outside even while our hearts are filled with judgment, indifference, and a lack of compassion. We need to examine our own hearts for "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" John 3:17 (we usually stop at 16. It's time to move on)

Sidenote: another great post about adoption:Finding Intercession in the Craziest Places by Randy Bohlender

Things to get stuck on

2007-05-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

Lately when I have been studying the Bible (sadly, this often gets pushed aside when my schedule gets crazy) there have been some things that I've gotten stuck on.
I think sometimes as Christians, or looking at Christians, there seems to be this unsaid rule that one should automatically understand scripture right as they read it and then be able to apply it immediately. Though the Holy Spirit definitely helps us understand the scriptures and give us revelation (sometimes, right away), I think it is good to be stuck sometimes. It is good to be frustrated, to really wrestle with a passage, to let it sink into your mind and bug you. It is good to read the Bible and be uncomfortable. Maybe it's uncomfortable because it seems to simple or because the wording just throws you off. Maybe it's uncomfortable because you know that you don't follow it, you fail when you try, and then you know you need help.
Here are a few things that I have been stuck on lately:

The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-7:29)
It feels better just to skim it and move on, but it's worth it to read it, want it, try it, fall short, ask for help and repeat over and over.
Here's an excerpt from my journal:

"The Sermon on the Mount is an unashamed challenge to the human heart. It challenges our stubborn selfishness and challenges us to reach towards the beauty, freedom, and wholeness we've always desired but never thought we could have."

One of my Religion and Philosophy/Christan Ministry professors said something regarding the Sermon on the Mount and it's message that struck me:
"The law says, "This is what I expect." Grace says, "I accept you anyway."-Dr. Craig Smith.

Something else I stumbled across today which resulted in some cognitive dissonance was John 12:44-50:
And Jesus cried out and said, "He who believes in Me, does not believe in Me but in Him who sent Me.
"He who sees Me sees the One who sent Me.
"I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness.
"If anyone hears My sayings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.
"He who rejects Me and does not receive My sayings, has one who judges him; the word I spoke is what will judge him at the last day.
"For I did not speak on My own initiative, but the Father Himself who sent Me has given Me a commandment as to what to say and what to speak.
"I know that His commandment is eternal life; therefore the things I speak, I speak just as the Father has told Me."

This makes sense, but I'm still wrestling with it, in particular, how it effects John 13:1-20, when Jesus washes the disciples' feet. It is good to take things in context. Any good exegete will tell you that.

So I say to you, any readers of this blog, when/if you read the word-let it bother you. Don't feel guilty if you don't get it right away (even if it takes years). Keep wrestling. Keep letting it bother you. Mostly, keep asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom, revelation, and discernment.

Keep on Keepin' on

2007-05-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

I'm almost done with my second year of college. Scary.
Today concluded our last week of actual classes. Next week come finals. They shouldn't be so bad. The projects leading up to finals were the worst. Comparatively finals will be a breeze.

Along with trying to get everything done homework wise, this is also the last hurrah with a lot of my friends. Either I'm preparing to say "See you in August" or "Good luck with the rest of your life." I'm going to be sad to see my senior friends leave. Of course I'm glad that they can move on to Grad school or their careers, but I will definitely feel their absence, especially next August.

Well, that's the full report.

Myers-Briggs anyone?

2007-04-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

So I randomly found this online quiz the other day. It's a shortened version of the classic Myers-Briggs test. Sometimes it's interesting what these kind of things end up saying about 'you'. Sometimes they are very vague or general so anyone could fit into the description. I was surprised at how well this test described me.
I am an INFJ (introverted-intuitive-feeler-judger). Go check it out and then report you findings in the comment section.
Here are some of the things that seemed right on the money:

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership.

INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals.

More on time management

2007-04-02T13:40:00.000-08:00

Again, I am linking this post from Shawn Blanc's website www.thefightspot.com .
Read this if you are interested in finding a healthy balance managing you life in God, school, work, family, and friends, and all the rest.

3.5 Steps to Re-Asses Your Schedule.

Finally, some practical fashions

2007-04-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

I found this story on CNN : Wet Wine dress grows as 'cave woman' fashion.
I thought that I might need to add something onto my previous essays on clothing.

My favorite quote is this:

"Cass said that, once the fibers became more pliant, his creation would have a more practical application.
"If you wanted a shirt you could get a cast made of your body and layer the cellulose around it," he said."

Sure, that's simple. I just had a cast of my body made the other day. Good job fashion industry.

The picture they put up doesn't help them much either.

One body, One Lord

2007-03-31T22:26:00.000-08:00

If you needed any proof that all Christians are in the same church and body of Christ then just keep your eyes open and talk to your brothers and sisters. I think you will be amazed to see at the things God does individually in our hearts across the corporate body. I was very encouraged to stumble across this post by Brent Steeno (http://steeno.wordpress.com/). I feel that this is where I am at right now, especially the part I will bold/highlight below. I am not alone. God's loving kindness is better than life.

March 14th, 2007
Do I Really Believe?
I am finding that it is much easier to talk about situations then to actually walk through them. On the front side it is easy to give advice to someone about the trials that we go through in life and on the back side it is easy to look back and remember that it was not as hard as it seems. But in the middle of trying circumstances and situations it is not as easy as one thought. Your heart is put to test in the middle of it. Everything you have believed is suddenly put right in your face and the challenge is to fully embrace what the Lord is doing in your life.

I find myself it such a season. It is a season that I have thought about for some time, knew I would enter into and tried to prepare my heart for the best way that I knew how. But I realize that it was a subject that I seemed relatively comfortable to talk about but now that I am in that season I realize it is more arduous then I at one time thought.

My challenge in this season is this: Do I really believe in the nature and character of God? Do I really believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him? Do I really believe that the great “eye” of God is searching to and fro through out the earth looking for those whose hearts are fully given to Him? Do I really believe that the hand of God is upon my life and He is directing my steps?

Again, on the front end I could say yes without much of a struggle and I know that at the end of this season I will say yes with the utmost confidence. But it is this time, the great in-between, that I feel the Lord is testing my heart and really getting at the areas of unbelief that I have tried to conceal deep down in the depths of my own heart.

This is a painful process but one that is very much needed if I am going to go the places with the Lord that I want to go. I have to learn to trust the leadership of God upon my life and lean into in every season, even the seasons in which I feel as though His “eye” is not upon me. The more I think about the more I realize that it is in the seasons that you think His “eye” is not upon you, that you are just another person lost in the masses of humanity, it is in that very season, that very time that His great “eye” is upon you all the more. His eye is upon you wanting you to respond to Him correctly in this season. The joy the Father must feel when in these times, the times when no one is looking and we feel forgotten, that we choose to still give ourselves to the Lord. Oh the overwhelming emotions that must well up in the heart of our Father when we choose to live by faith and not by sight. When we choose to love Him back and cultivate our heart in meekness and humility knowing that this is what our Father in heaven wants for us.
So, I guess I know realize that it is in this time, when I feel alone and on the backside of the mountain that His eye is even more intensely upon me, watching how my little heart responds. Yikes! That KABOD!

Trusting God with Judgment

2007-03-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

This is something I wrote a long time ago and I opened it up today and thought, "Hey, that's not bad." I might expound on it more later but I'll just publish it as it is today.

Judgment is a word our culture doesn’t like to hear except maybe in the context of a courtroom drama. Ideas like a harsh judge, an angry parent, or an angry God may come into our minds when we try to understand judgment. A lot of our ideas of judgment come from our misinterpretations and misunderstandings of the Old Testament ideas of judgment. Many times we see ourselves as the ones at the end of God’s wrath and thus shy away from this concept.

First, I want to discuss this idea of being objects of wrath. The Bible says that “God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses wrath everyday” (Psalm 7:11. NIV), so yes, it is something we need to understand. What we commonly misunderstand is who God’s wrath is against. God is a judge but he is also our advocate. God hates anything that gets in our way of getting to Him. God desires to strip away those things in the world and in our lives that block us from Him. God does judge our sin, but it is more out of desire to free us from sin than to condemn us for it.
Ephesians 2:3-5, says,
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying our sinful nature and following judge, desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”
It’s clear that though we were objects of wrath, Jesus had covered our sins. Therefore, we can look at Jesus as our advocate and ask him to judge areas in our lives that are keeping us from the fullness of knowing God and bring them into alignment with His word and heart.

Our idea of God also influences the way we view judgment. If we do view God as anything less than He is, basically anything human, than we reduce his obligation and desire to judge. If God is righteous, loving, holy, and is good then He must judge. If He is righteous He will not stand that which is sinful. If He loves He will not allow the world to be consumed and ravaged by sin and the suffering that accompanies it. If He is holy He will not stand for that which profanes the good things He has created. Judgment is necessary for restoration and reconciliation. If we do not believe that these things motivate all of God’s actions then we cannot trust him.

So why else can we trust God to judge? The answer is Jesus. Jesus is our judge. In Revelation 5, a search goes out to find one worthy to open the scrolls that will release God’s judgments on the earth. But no one was found worthy, not “in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look at it” (Rev. 5:3). Finally the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, Jesus, was found to be worthy. What makes Jesus worthy? Isaiah 53 provides an answer. Jesus the man knew our sorrows and suffering as well as taking upon himself our transgression and iniquities. Jesus suffered under the wrath of God and understands the depths of God’s judgments. Also, Jesus, the Son of God, knows better than anyone the heart of the father. He too, desires that none would perish, but would know God (2 Peter 3:9).

Think what would happen if we were responsible for judging our own or others wrong doing. When it comes to human nature the idea of Occum’s Razor applies here, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The one who is fully man and fully God is perfectly suited to unleash God’s judgments. He is the truth and can be trusted with the rod of justice.

The Keyboard is back!

2007-03-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

The keyboard is back and this time returns with a brand new hard case. The hard case looks really cool and professional. Unfortunately it weighs a bit more than usual (sarcasm=a lot!).

Spring "Break"

2007-03-29T11:57:00.000-08:00

Break is in quotes because Choir Tour is not only not a break, but a frenzy of long bus rides, concerts, little sleep, and people around you 24/7. I will give you a few highlights

The Bus:
This was the thorn in our flesh for the whole trip. In New Mexico/Arizona (the desert) the air conditioning stopped working. We tripped to fix it multiple times but we did not have it until we headed back through Colorado where it wasn't needed.
A semi side swiped us on the L.A. Freeway and almost completely knocked off one of our rear view mirrors.
On the pass in Colorado the fuel filter stopped working. When our driver pushed the gas the bus only went 20 miles per hour so he put it in neutral and we coasted down the mountain for 15 miles at speeds of 60-70mph.

The beach:
That was the best. This is where a majority of my pictures were taken. Prepare to be montaged!

Me playing in the water.

Kansas kids on the beach

Jeanwise and Mollywise find some kelp.

Kelp: Weeds of the Sea!

David and Nate recreate some scenes from Baywatch.

Ben and I waltz on the beach!

Me, Molly, and Jean are enjoying the beach!

My buddy Curtis and I trying to pull some stunts.

Did I forget anything?

2007-03-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

Right now I am packing for our Choir trip to California. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think I started too early because I'm just chilling out in the room wandering what to do with myself.
I did laundry last night.
I have all of my outfits ready to go.
I know what needs to go in my backpack.
I have my Ipod all charged.
I switched my music into a bigger choir folder to fit it all.
I laid out my outfit for tomorrow.

Hmmm. I guess I'll just enjoy some free time. Weird.

God, time management, and college: Part 2

2007-03-14T22:52:00.000-08:00

No one posted anything as a suggestion on the last post of a similar title, so I'm just going to go ahead with something I've been thinking about and trying to implement in my own life lately. These posts are mainly for my peers who have lately expressed frustration at trying to strike a balance in their college life and spiritual life.

Vision
The vision you have for your life, from what I hear, can really make or break your time-management attempts. Having a vision will help you evaluate in the hours, days, weeks, and months of your life what is really important. It will be the plumb line that evaluates if the walls of your life are being built straight and level. So how do we start? What principles do we need to know? What does it look like?

How do we start?
Pray- Ask God what His plan is for you. Ask this question often. Ask this question regarding the near and far future. What does God have for you this month? What does God have planned for you throughout college? What career/field are you called to? And, perhaps the most important question, "Where do I fit in eternity? What is my eternal purpose?" (note:some of these answers in their more general form can be found in the Bible. Thanks God!)
Evaluate- What are your likes/dislikes? What are you passionate about? What things are you drawn to? Survey your friends- What skills/talents/abilities do they notice in you? Where do you tend to spend your time?

What principles do we need to know?
There are various types of goals- It can often be easier to set goals for yourself in sections. It could be broken down into things like education, talents, time, career, relationships, financial, health, relationship with God. Mike Bickle of the International House of Prayer said, "Our commitments define us. Without something to die for there is nothing to live for. Getting a clear picture of who we can be can impact our lives. Do you have a vision, not for where your career, family, or schooling is going, but for your heart?" (paraphrase).
Perspective is important- Often times we can use goals as an evaluation of how we compare with others. That will lead to envy and that is never a fun place to be. When it comes to spiritual goals (especially) it is good to set goals that don't deal with things we can necessarily see. For example, some of my goals this year were as follows:

I want to weep over the word because my heart is tender before the Lord
I want to be known in the courts of heaven, not the courts of men.
I want to be found faithful coming before God like Mary of Bethany; sitting before Jesus' feet to hear His word and voice.

What does it look like?
It probably looks more normal than you think. We don't go around noticing the people that really do manage their time well because they seem so normal. A balanced schedule( and therefore priorities) is just that: balanced. You don't have to spend your whole college career in Chapel, in prayer, and Bible Study 24/7. You don't have to move your dorm room into the library either. If you find yourself neglecting your school work and classes because you are spending so much time secluded in your prayer closet either try to adjust your schedule so you have time for school or move to a monastery/convent/24-7 prayer ministry (vice versa for spending too much time studying). After all, if you are in school it's probably because you felt called by God to be there and be a student.
Being faithful in the small things like homework, showing up, and being responsible can mean a lot to God. Believe it or not, being a student can be a ministry. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying! God is faithful and wants you to succeed in this area of your life (note to self: heed your words)

Maybe there will be more to come later. Still accepting comments, personal stories/experience, and or any type of feedback at all. Don't be shy.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away

2007-03-13T15:04:00.000-08:00

So I did get my keyboard back. It was in tip top shape for a few days. Sunday I brought it to Sunday Chapel because our praise band was playing. I tried to plug it in to 5 different outlets and nothing happened. So my friend Tiffiney brought her piano and saved the day.

So the keyboard is going back to shop this week. Super.

So close I can almost taste it....oh wait...it's mostly my apathy

2007-03-13T14:55:00.000-08:00

Spring Break commences far too early this Friday!!! The whole choir is taking off for southern California for 10 days of concerts, sun, and bus rides!!! (The exclamation points don't apply to the bus rides.) We load up at 4:30am Friday.
I think we will have a good trip. We have way more concerts than we did last year, which is good. The most exciting thing for me is that most of our Praise Band (the ones in choir) were chosen to lead worship one night on the beach!!!! How do I get to do such cool stuff!!!
I'm also staying at The Nate Prior's house with my choir buddies Jean and Molly. All sorts of craziness should result.
Please pray for us as we travel and perform (sickness tends to run rampant when we spend all day, every day together), and especially when we're on the beach. We don't want anyone to burn :)

Prepare, Sow, Persevere, Reap

2007-03-08T18:27:00.000-09:00

Galatians 6:7-9 and Hosea 10:12 are verses that God has really highlighted to me in the past few weeks and I also feel are important to Sterling College :

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:7-9

Sow with a view to righteousness,

Reap in accordance with kindness;

Break up your fallow ground,

For it is time to seek the LORD

Until He comes to rain righteousness on you.

Hosea 10:12

(fallow ground: land that has not been used for a period of time. So....expose and prepare those areas in your life that you have allowed to lie dormant to be used. This referred to Israel's idolatry so today's application could be to bring some hidden on ignored sin before God to seek forgiveness and restoration.)

Let us seek the Lord and sow in faith for things in our future, first exposing those areas that need some attention to God, expecting Him to rain upon them in righteousness.

This is the prayer of my heart: That God would prepare my heart by breaking up the hard ground, exposing and uprooting the weeds, and preparing it to receive His word, Spirit, and love, as well as help me to persevere in my side of tending to my garden.

And there was much rejoicing

2007-03-08T18:24:00.000-09:00

The keyboard is back!!!!! Praise God!

Tragedy Strikes (and it sounds a lot like a B flat)

2007-03-02T13:26:00.000-09:00

God has been giving me a lot of different opportunities to worship lead lately and that is really exciting. It is so humbling to know that when I open my mouth to sing and move my fingers to play that anything that happens to those listening, whether they are convicted, comforted, receive guidance or revelation, or feel God's love it's not because anything I'm doing except trying to be obedient to what God has called me to do and trying to depend on Him to find out what that is.

So, I was worship leading for Evan's Worship Wednesday Night (it went really well and was a blast). My Mennokid (someone who's the product by denomination or family history of Mennonites) friend Erin leads Evan's Worship and she gave me this awesome opportunity. At the end of worship one of my fellow Chaplains and all around cool guy, John H, volunteered to help me take my keyboard out to Erin's car to bring it back to my dorm. I can't carry my keyboard on my own, so I was perfectly cool with him taking it for me.

We were 3 steps outside the door when I heard this noise, "Snap! Thud!". If there was ever such a heart sinking noise. I turned around and John looked up at me with these huge eyes and said, "I'm SOOOO sorry!!!!! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! The thing broke!". Sure enough, with absolutely nothing to do with John, the strap that went from end to end of the case broke and one half of my keyboard was resting on the cement. I assured John, Erin, and Joel (innocent bystander) that it should be fine and we can just roll it to the car.

We brought it back to the dorm and Erin helped me set it up. I noticed right away that the B-flat key, 2 below middle C, was smushed down a little. That's God's mercy right there. So many more keys could have been injured and to a much more severe degree. I really wasn't all that worried. God really provided for this keyboard so that I could worship lead. I believed that God would continue to provide.

So the next day we called the place where we bought it and told them the whole story. Since it was the case that broke the agreed to pay for all the repairs as well as putting $125 towards a new case (the cost of the first case). So in a few weeks I will have a repaired keyboard, free of charge, and a new hard case that was basically 50% off. God is good and He truly loves to bless His children with good gifts.

Come back quickly, Kawai!

The God of Restoration

2007-02-23T16:43:00.000-09:00

I feel like this is a very important scripture to Sterling College right now. We need to know what God is planning. I feel like this is what is on His heart. In the places of death, God desires to bring life!

Isaiah 35
Joy of the Redeemed

1 The desert and the parched land will be glad;

the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.

Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom;

it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.

The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,

the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;

they will see the glory of the LORD,

the splendor of our God.
3 Strengthen the feeble hands,

steady the knees that give way;
4 say to those with fearful hearts,

"Be strong, do not fear;

your God will come,

he will come with vengeance;

with divine retribution

he will come to save you."
5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened

and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
6 Then will the lame leap like a deer,

and the mute tongue shout for joy.

Water will gush forth in the wilderness

and streams in the desert.
7 The burning sand will become a pool,

the thirsty ground bubbling springs.

In the haunts where jackals once lay,

grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
8 And a highway will be there;

it will be called the Way of Holiness.

The unclean will not journey on it;

it will be for those who walk in that Way;

wicked fools will not go about on it.
9 No lion will be there,

nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;

they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,
10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

I feel that right now we need to be doing what verse 3-4 talk about: strengthening and encouraging those who are weak and anxious. We need to prepare ourselves as well for this new season. I had this image in my mind of someone in front of Cooper (where the chapel is) and they were raking the ground. The ground was full of cracks and dry,dry dirt. Someone walked by and started mocking the person who was raking. However this encouraging came, "This is wisdom". It is wisdom to prepare in this way, even those places that look hopeless. It will soon be worth it to labor for things that look foolish now. Keep going! Keep praying! Keep fasting! Keep studying! Keep encouraging others!

Awkward things I've done this week

2007-02-23T11:55:00.000-09:00

Here are a few things that happened to me this week that reminded me that I really am awkward. They are arranged from least to most awkward

Food- My nice new khaki colored sweater wanted to taste some lasagna. It's a good thing that red and khaki go together. Good thing I have that Tide-to-go pen!
Class mix-up- Every Wednesday we have chapel from 9:50-10:50am. I have no class from 8:50 until then and so that become nap hour every M-W-F. This Monday I came back from class, exhausted after about 5 consecutive days of going to bed at 2:00am (average) and waking up at 7:00 (average), and got ready for my nap. I set my alarm, crawled under my snugly blankets, and had an amazing nap! One of those naps where you sleep like a log, where you feel like you slept a full 8 hours in 1 hour, and maybe even relaxed so much as to drool. I got up a little later than planned and rushed over to my photography class. I arrived at the art center just as my friend Megan D. was walking in (she's in my photography class). She asked me what class I was here for. "Strange question," I thought to myself. And then replied in typical immediate-post-nap syndrome straightforwardness "This one!". Megan gave me a confused look. "Pssh!" I thought, "What was that for?!". I finally put 2 and 2 together and realized that I had shown up for photography one hour early. I could have kept sleeping. I could have let myself wake up a little more before I looked at my alarm clock. Then I went and filled in gas, came back to the dorm, and finished my nap. Oh well.
Something that has never happened to me before! Awkward History. In chemistry (the most painfully boring class I have taken in awhile) The guy behind me (Stephen, actually a pretty cool guy) accidentally kicked my folder off the chair next to me onto the floor. The class is held in one of those lecture hall, tiered seating kind of places with the desktops that swivel up to be used. I leaned over to recover the notebook and heard a creaking (not unusual for these particular desks), felt the tension release (a little odd), and heard the tiny 'ching' of something metal hitting the floor (ummm...). Yah, I broke the seat. I think it's still attached by one screw. We'll see how long that will last. I've never broken a chair before! Congratulations me! I guess I just know how to throw my tiny amount of weight around (watch out attackers!).

That's all the awkward news for now.

I keep hearing "revival" everywhere I go

2007-02-22T16:17:00.000-09:00

Just read this article by Jim Wallis (especially the last bit)
The Religious Right's Era is Over

Heed my (reposting of this guys) words, Sterling College

2007-02-21T19:23:00.000-09:00

Hey Sterling College: A massive move of God is coming down the pike. We need to get ready. When it happens things are going to change. It's time for us to plant seeds in the Spirit and not in the flesh (Galatians 6:6-10).
That's why I felt that this article is especially important for what is about to explode:
Let me ask you something: Are you ready for revival?
I really respect the author's (Shawn Blanc) writing. He has a special commitment to write about things that are vital to a steady Christian walk in increasingly important times.
Here are some of my favorite snippets from this post:

"The seed of massive global revival is cracked, and the roots are beginning to sprout. You and I have an incredibly short time to get ready. You don’t know when the “suddenly of God” that is planned for your life will happen. All you know is that your time to get intimacy and personal relationship with God is getting shorter by the minute. Seriously."

"You have to plan ahead for meekness. You have to expect that hard times are coming. Promotion and demotion: They’re both hard to respond rightly to. Pride and bitterness both come from the same apple. Your hope to stay steady and be in love with Jesus after the dust settles is to plan ahead now; and you do that by asking God to help you. Asking Him to give you grace."

Please read, consider, and pray about the things considered in this article. It's about to get really, really important.

What a weekend!

2007-02-21T19:08:00.000-09:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of leading a group of 30 sterling college students (out largest group ever!) to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. It was a little crazy at first. I don't recommend putting all 30 people in a living room and tell them to be quiet all at once. All the people that went are amazing! I have loved getting to see close friends and new friends experience new depths of God's love and receive new understanding of scripture. I've loved seeing these new faces dive right in to the deep end and run after God. I am excited to see everyone as we come back to our campus and apply these new things to the daily grind.

One of my biggest prayers for our group was from Ephesians 1:15-20, basically that God would open up their hearts to receive a greater and deeper understanding of His heart and that they would come to know the hope that comes from being the chosen inheritance of Christ. Also that they would come to see for the first time, as well as more clearly what their calling is. God was faithful to answer these prayers in such amazing ways.

God is crazy! He doesn't care what background you have, what doubts you may have, what plans you've made, He will do anything to show you His love and make it easier to love you.

Watch out Sterling College!!!

Yah, that is a picture of the new IHOP stage. My friend Ben took it (no flash!). I love the new stage. It is not all that distracting and I actually felt that they way the stage was situated it involved the congregation more.

Death's Perspective

2007-02-12T20:54:00.000-09:00

The other day I was hanging out with Jesus and discussing with Him what this current time in my life is all about. I asked Him whether or not I was headed into another long season where praying and reading the Word seemed boring and if I needed to prepare to press through. Or is this just a hard time of transition for me as I adjust to a new semester, new schedule, new staff that I'll be working under, etc? I wondered why I had to be in this place again, possibly for a long period of time, where I feel so weak and tired and busy and burdened and bad for not spending more time or getting more out of the time I spend. Why do I have to be in this place that is seemingly barren? And then I felt the Lord put this phrase in my head:
"It is only from the perspective of death that He speaks to me about life."
or in other words
"It is only from the place/perspective of death that we can understand life."

That made so much sense to me! Think of all the times where God lead His people into the desert or wilderness and then spoke to them. In Hosea 2, God tells Hosea to tell His prostitute wife (really check it out, it's a cool book in the Bible), a.k.a God is saying this to unfaithful Israel, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." (Hosea 2:14)

It seems like those who are most afraid of death, talking about it, being around it, fearing their own death, are those who don't really know how to live. It is only when we examine and understand that this life really is just a breath, just a vapor, just a moment that we start to live.

So, even though I hate that place of barrenness and weakness I will embrace it, knowing that every time I say 'yes' to putting part of my own desires, dreams, thoughts, strength to death, God will truly bring life, and life to the fullest, to those things. God is the God of the resurrection and the life. I guess I'm ok with that.

(note to self: He is more committed to perfecting you, strengthening you, teaching you, loving you, etc. than you are. Remember that. God is faithful)

"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it. " -Jesus

Matthew 10:39

Let's not be afraid of death (to ourselves) or the pain of death any longer friends. Let's embrace it and find out what living is really all about.

Blessed is/Blessed are those...

2007-02-06T15:48:00.001-09:00

So I've started a new study on verses in the Gospels on the times when phrases like "Blessed is...." or "Blessed are those...." appear. The plan is to dissect the verse, in context of course, and discover more of the depth of these scriptures as well as understanding who it is who Jesus counts as blessed. The first batch of 'blessed are' s that most people recognize is the beatitudes. From this we obviously see that Jesus doesn't look at things the way we look at them.

Yesterday I studied Matthew 11:6: "Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me." in the context of Matthew 11:2-6.
So here's what I got:
It seems that a lot of commentators think that John (the baptist), while imprisoned, had some sort of crisis of faith and so sent his disciples to ask Jesus if he really is who he says he is. I disagree. John and Jesus were relatives and in the womb John even recognized the Messiah (Yes, it's in the Bible). I think that John sent his disciples over to talk with Jesus so that they would realize that Jesus was indeed the Messiah.
So, John's disciples come up to Jesus and say, "Are you the expected One, or should we look for someone else?". Jesus, instead of just saying, "Yah, that's me," answers them with what probably would've been well known scripture from Isaiah 61 "Go and report to John what you hear and see: the BLIND RECEIVE SIGHT and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the POOR HAVE THE GOSPEL PREACHED TO THEM." (v.4-5).
Then Jesus says something that is really interesting, "Blessed is he who does not take offense at me." (v. 6). The word offense in Greek can mean "to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall, metaph. to offend or to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey ." As we know and see today, Jesus can be pretty offensive. So what exactly does this mean?
I think that Jesus used scripture to show the he is the long expected Messiah because he expects John's disciples recognize him because of His word. So verse six could really say, "Blessed are those who recognize Me."
So, when we want to recognize God's work in our lives and communities we need to be rooted in the word of God. It can be easy to be offended when change comes, especially if unsuspected, but by seeing how God interacted/interacts with His people in the Word, knowing His promises, and what His thoughts and desires are we can recognize and be in line with what God is doing. If we don't recognize God we could become offended and stumble over what God intended to be a blessing. I believe that as God's children and people that we are meant to recognize God and act accordingly.

At the end of the study I wrote out this super-amplified version of verse 6:

"Blessed is he who knows what to look for, who knows how to prepare, and who is not taken by surprise at my coming or fooled by lies. Blessed is he who recognizes when I start to shift and change things in the Spirit. They will not fall, but adjust their path to walk in My ways. These are the ones who will know me and delight in my presence and faithfulness when the rest of the world is nursing scraped knees, bruises, and their injured pride as a result of their fall."

What do you think?

The Superbowl

2007-02-04T18:37:00.000-09:00

I did not waste my time this year. Ha! And no, I don't even care that I missed the commercials.

Teeth and Self-esteem

2007-02-03T08:33:00.000-09:00

I just found this article and thought it was really interesting. This is dedicated to all of you out there who have crooked teeth or think you do. Apparently it doesn't affect our overall happiness, so let's move on.

p.s. Isn't crooked a funny word? It seems like it should be spelt differently. hmm.

Random Friday Thoughts

2007-02-02T16:31:00.000-09:00

Here are some random thoughts from today let loose from my brain:
Did it really snow two days ago?

Rock the Casbah is an amazing song and I am currently bobbing my head to it and typing in rhythm to its Casbah beats.

I love my roommate. She is a blast. No joke, you should get to know her.

Friday Night Burn is tonight (pray it up into the early morning)-I need that time.

Winter is waging war on my skin.

My heart and mind is all over the place.

One of my favorite things about this semester is getting to know so many different people.

The rush to find a date for Valentine's day is on. Just look around people.

Play Rock the Casbah again! Woot!

I heart Tuesdays

2007-01-30T14:48:00.000-09:00

3 classes-Folk Dance, Choir, and Highland singers
Tuesday Night Prayer!!!!
Learning how to depend on God for all my needs.

There are my pants!

2007-01-29T17:46:00.000-09:00

This just in...um....actually in at 10:30 this morning. The pants have been found! Thank you all for your hard work (a.k.a. listening to me rant with such phrases as, "Who would steal my pants!?") and prayers. The pants were recovered in a last ditch effort to make sure the pants disapperance wasn't related to a mistake I could have made. I called my Mom this morning and found out that I had, in fact, left my pants at home. Smooth.

I'm just glad I didn't post any of those flyers I had been designing in my brain. Then I would have felt really dumb.

The aforementioned flyer

Where are my pants?

2007-01-28T21:27:00.000-09:00

Tonight as I began setting out my outfit for tomorrow (because I can't function in the morning) I experienced a shocking discovery: one of my favorite pairs of pants is missing!
It is so much a favorite that I even went back to buy another pair of the exact same pant. This pair of pants is also what Stacy and Clinton might call 'investment pieces', a.k.a more money=better quality=longer wear.
So far the four scenarios that I have come up with that could fit in with the college setting:

I misplaced them- I don't really know how someone could misplace a pair of pants between moving them downstairs in a basket, putting them in a washer, moving them to a dryer, and then bringing them back upstairs, but it's me so it's entirely possible
Someone wanted to play a prank and took them.
Someone accidentally took them. (Also weird)
Someone stole them. Thieves! Really, if you need pants so much as you would resort to stealing them from another college student I will drive you to the mall and pay for your own new pair of pants. This is a generous community, don't be afraid to ask for help every once in awhile.

Tomorrow myself and my "Operation Pants Rescue/Recovery" volunteers will make and distribute a flyer explaining what the pants look like as well as size and style details. Hopefully some sort of clue or tip will come up and this will not end in a tragedy. I will update as the story unfolds.

God, time management, and college

2007-01-28T12:09:00.000-09:00

It is the normal person's response to react to the title of this post with a laugh indicative of unbelief that these three things could be effectively blended in a way that is, first of all, possible, secondly healthy, and thirdly useful.

Recently, as I have heard more and more of my peers desiring deeper relationships with God a simultaneous obstacle and question has emerged: "How the heck do we as college students manage our time effectively so that our priorities are actually represented in our use of time?"

Most people struggle with time management but I think it can be especially difficult for college students,who, at the same time as going to class, doing homework, getting involved with different activities, and building new relationships, are also evaluating who they really are and deciding who they want to be (don't forget about all the other distractions). And as Christian students we are feeling the tension between being responsible and faithful in our call as college students and the intense desire to take the time needed to develop and sustain a healthy, vibrant, pleasurable, fruitful, and mature relationship with God.

So how do we strike this balance? I don't have the right answer as I am exploring these issues myself. I hope that this can be a place of discussion and encouragement. Peers, readers, whoever else, feel free to comment on this post and any that are to come with your advice and experience with time management (any experiences are welcome, but if it pertains to college that would be great).

For now I will give you this link to an excellent blogger,Shawn Blanc, and his series of 168 hours to a focused life .

Lookie a new template

2007-01-27T17:02:00.000-09:00

So I have to admit that when blogger wanted to me to switch over to a Google account my first thought was, "Yah right. I like everything the way it is. Like these new features are really that cool. Take that g-mail!" So imagine my surprise when blogger forced me to switch over to this new system throwing in my face the fact that "Beta is dead"! I sucked it up and switched. A few hours later I got really pumped up seeing that I can customize my template without having to know all the html codes for numbers and what not. I am a nerd but not enough to be completely nuts about html stuff. So here it is. Simple. Streamlined. I hope you enjoy this more aesthetically pleasing blog. I hope my writing skills can kick it up a notch as well.

Interterm has been....

2007-01-16T14:58:00.000-09:00

long- One class, 3.5 hours a day, huge chunks of free time. For 3 some weeks it has felt quite long.

Frustrating- Have you ever tried to make a whistle out of clay, make coil pots that don't look like a 7 year old made them, or make a pot that is not wobbly(see picture below)? These have been some of my challenges in ceramics. The whistle was probably the worst because it took me 2 and a half hours to make some that looks like a turd and sounds like a piccolo. Just what I needed.

Fun- I got to hang out with my friends every day for long periods of time without the interference of crazy homework.

Interesting-My roomies was in New York for a week thus testing my survival skills regarding rooming alone in college. There was plenty of time and space for me to do what I wanted when I wanted like dancing around or taking my time getting dressed in the morning. I missed her a lot though. It's hard to tell nobody about my day and other random things I tend to think about.

It's been good but it's time for it to be over.
Amen?
Amen.

Immanuel

2007-01-12T16:42:00.000-09:00

God with us. Immanuel or Emmanuel-your preference. Immanuel is a name that usually gets pulled out around Christmas time due to the prophecy in Isaiah 7:14. Jesus the Son of God, born of a virgin, put on human flesh and dwelled among men. That in itself is amazing and profound and will probably take all eternity to fully understand.
I don't think that this promise was meant to be shelved away and taken out when it's time to put up the manger set in the living room. I think this is a reality that we need to examine daily in our own lives. I'll put it another way: We can't afford to ignore this reality. Why? Because Immanuel is something bigger that the great things of the Christmas season, the appearances of God to Moses, Elijah, other prophets, and the reality of God coming to earth as a man. Running through all these things stands the desire of a Holy God to be with His sinful, broken, defiled people. That is stunning!

First off there is the original set-up of God-to-man relationship, the Garden of Eden. God created this place where his creation could interact with Him in a very real, tangible way. In Genesis 3:8 it says that God walked around the garden. Imagine living in this time before the fall. Nothing stood in the way of you being with God. God desired to be in uninterrupted relationship with man.
Fast forward to the 'historical books' section of the Bible (which some consider the boring part) where this desire is seen even in the rituals and mosaic law of the Hebrew people. Ritual cleansing, food laws, laws on dealing with lepers, and accidental defilements all had one purpose: to make it possible for God to dwell among the Israelites. Just check out these passages:

"I will dwell among the sons of Israel and will be their God." Exodus 29:45 (emphasis mine)

"Moreover, I will make My dwelling among you, and My soul will not reject you." Leviticus 26:11 (emphasis mine)

"You shall send away both male and female; you shall send them outside the camp so that they will not defile their camp where I dwell in their midst." Numbers 5:3 (emphasis mine)

"You shall not defile the land in which you live, in the midst of which I dwell; for I the LORD am dwelling in the midst of the sons of Israel. Numbers 35:34 (emphasis mine)

The passage that sums up the whole of the God's desire to be with man is, in my opinion, found in the book of Revelation chapter 21:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new " And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Revelation 21:1-5

A lot of people sing songs and pray prayers that speak of their desire to be in heaven. This desires aren't wrong but even greater than our desire to be in heaven, God Himself wants to dwell among us on earth! This is a desire that runs throughout the entire Bible. God longs to dwell with His people. The same God who Moses was afraid to look at because he would die wants to dwell with man. Like Jesus prayed, "Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world. " John 17:24.

Not only goes God want to dwell among man, but He wants us to live in that place of perfect peace with no death, mourning, crying, or pain. He is going to wipe all those things out. All of creation will look on in wonder as God steps down from heaven and makes His home among men( Ephesians 3:10). Before this can become a reality a lot of things have to happen. Similar to the way the Israelites had to guard against defiling the camp and cleanse themselves and their camp God will bring about a cleansing and consecration like the world has never seen (see the rest of the book of revelation).

Everything that God does, whether it's raising up or bringing down leaders in the world, allowing natural disasters to happen, changing things in the church, allowing political unrest, or more personal things of everyday life it is all in accordance with His will and desire to dwell among men.

This can give us great comfort as change, pain, or other difficulties come into out life. Not only is this according to God's plan, but look at the plan He has! I would say yes to anything if that is what I will get to experience forever! It can also give us great hope. When you say 'yes' to Jesus and the plan of His Father you are saying yes to a kingdom that is not founded on manipulation or seeking power at the cost of anything or anyone, but founded on meekness and humility. You are saying yes to an eternity without death, mourning, crying or pain. You are saying yes to a God who wants people to know and experience Him, even humbling Himself to dwell among people. You are saying yes to a God who cares about every detail in our lives that seems insignificant, a God who wants to give us power to live lives of love, holiness, and peace, a God who wants to give us the best and the greatest of His kingdom and His heart.

This is our hope.

God desires to dwell with you, even in your weakness, brokenness or the mess of your life. Yes, it is true God wants to dwell with you in that place. This is our destiny!

Sanctify and Consecrate

2007-01-07T11:59:00.000-09:00

This is an interesting season in my life and in the life of the Church. I feel like God has given me a lot of opportunity to take part in what He is doing as well as showing me areas where I can follow Him more. To get the most of this season I have decided to fast t.v. and movies for the rest of the semester. Here are a few reasons why:

"The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!." Matthew 6:22-23. I don't want to voluntarily fill me heart and mind with things that aren't encouraging or healthy. Over break as I watched t.v. I realized how much the content sucks. Really bad. I'd rather fill my mind and heart with words of life. I want to be filled with light in such a way that others desire God more as well.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8. That's what I want. I want to see God. For real. I want to see Him in His sanctuary. I want to see Him in His beauty and glory. Really, as long as I see Him, it's cool with me.
"Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, And revive me in Your ways." Psalm 119:37-What do I want to be entertained by? I want to be fascinated with God. I don't want to waste my time finding enjoyment in things that are truly empty. I want lose my self in wonder, awe, and fascination of the uncreated One.

I am purposefully setting myself apart from something that can be good for that which is eternally better. Let the sanctification and consecration begin.

Final thought: I'm not posting this to boast or to pass judgment on those who do watch t.v. I'm just letting you know what is going on in my life.

Amazing post!

2007-01-07T11:38:00.000-09:00

I am called to be an intercessory missionary. That's right I'm going to go sit in a room with a bunch of other people(or no one) and worship God as well as saying back to Him what He tells me to say (praying) for the rest of my life. I'm so excited!
A place and group of people that has encouraged me, taught me, and I feel a certain attachment to is the International House of Prayer in Kansas City (www.ihop.org). If that is where God leads me, that is where I'm heading after college.
Today I came across a post by Dave Sliker, part of Ihop leadership and author of End-Times Simplified, on his blog He is at the door . The Ihop is undergoing a new season, noticeably different after their 7 year anniversary in September this year. Most noticeable is the new stage and their new partnership with God TV. This post explains the changes going on. This excerpt is my favorite part and is a beautiful and sstunning observation of what God is doing at the Ihop. It makes me excited and a little nervous about stepping into this environment.

"Fast forward nearly four years - December 29th, 2006. On Friday afternoon I happen to check the news during a small window of free time from my conference responsibilities - Saddam Hussein was to be executed that evening.
(For a chilling recounting via some solid reporting of the hours, and events, leading up to Saddam's execution, go here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/07/world/middleeast/07ticktock.html?ei=5065&en=528a2d4d48836088&amp;ex=1168750800&partner=MYWAY&pagewanted=print)
I shot a quick email to Mike, Allen, Stuart, and a few others as an FYI. Then I jumped in to lead the 5 PM intercessory prayer meeting, which was probably one of the liveliest, action packed two-hour prayer meetings I've ever been a part of. I did not have a moment to think about the evening or the email.
At about 6:50, as we were transitioning off the platform for the next team, Misty grabbed me. She was a bit worked up, which was unusual in itself. "Mike's been looking all over for you!" She said quickly. She quickly filled me in on what was going on - Mike wanted to turn tonight"s worship time into an intercession time for Saddam and the Middle East, involving the God-TV viewing audience, led by myself and six other intercessors he wanted me to find. He wanted to begin almost immediately after the worship time began. The worship time began in less than 10 minutes.
Misty, Brent, and myself hurriedly rushed to the side of the stage as we all worked together to gather the different intercessors. Allen was out - he was preaching that evening. We found Corey and Stuart. Wes was sitting in the third row. Shelly was at her little spot. Before we could even think about what was happening, as worship was well underway, Misty got the signal from the platform. It was time. We were up. Someone shouted over the music to me - "Line us up!" No one wanted to go first, so I volunteered myself.
Since I constantly find myself in the most interesting of situations, before I knew it I was standing up front, waiting for Mike to finish his prayer so that I could take my turn. I was surprisingly calm. I rehearsed a little bit of what I wanted to pray in my head: that the Prince of Peace would be the true King of the Middle East. That mercy would triumph in Baghdad. I wanted to rebuke opportunistic demons and ask the Lord to hold back the works of darkness. I wanted God to quiet the storm of men's hearts and souls, that the Holy Spirit would establish the peace of God. I wanted God to establish the believers in Baghdad in peace, confidence, and power through His Spirit.
In a minute, it was over for me. I went back down the stairs and reflected for a moment on what had just happened - on what I had done and what we, together, were doing.
Rory and Wendy Alec, the founders of God-TV, have a vision. Their desire is to establish a context for the prayer room to be a vehicle to interpret judgment and revival for the nations in the days to come. It occurred to me that in that very moment, in that little arena with 15,000 people; and in front of millions via God-TV around the world, that we had begun to step into that role just a little bit. We had, in a moment, shifted the hearts and minds of thousands of young adults who were part of the group that applauded the execution of Saddam at the beginning of the meeting when we announced it. Now they were huddled in small groups, praying for his salvation.
I sat for a moment in awe of the Lord. "Why us?" I asked quietly in prayer. "We're so simple, so simple" I whispered to myself. The answer came suddenly: "The wisdom of leading a thousand prayer meetings..." The Lord spoke to me in that moment.
I began to weep. And weep. And weep - for quite some time.
The sentence concluded: "so that you are not crushed by the magnitude of the moment."
It was stunning to me, the dignity of our calling as intercessory missionaries. The routine, the mundane, the repetitive and stubborn manner in which we show up to the prayer room, day after day after day, grab a microphone, and ask Him again to change the earth. It struck me that, in the brilliance of His leadership, seven intercessors walked onto a platform in front of millions of people and actually prayed to a Man. They didn't preach, they didn't teach, they didn't get lost in the moment or themselves. They just closed their eyes and talked to a Man. And they weren't crushed by the magnitude of the moment. Simultaneously, hearts were shifted. I believe the heavens were shifted as well - just a little.
As we stepped in that evening in just a little bit to a little piece of our calling and mandate as the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, we did something momentous, something significant, in the plain, simple, mundane act of doing what we do in weakness and brokenness every day.
And I am not sure if, after those moments, anything will ever be the same here again. We have come to a turning point as a people as a ministry. A true new season is upon us. It will surely be messy, and truly be painful at times. But it will also be glorious for those who signed up for the honor and the privilege of watching the true Leader of the prayer movement orchestrate His great plan to usher in the end of the age, and the final moments of history that culminate with His return.
I can't wait to see what's next."

Almost the new year

2006-12-28T12:02:00.000-09:00

So it's been almost 3 weeks since I've updated. I've been busy. Last week I babysat my nephew Jackson and I had a blast! Mom, Dad, and I decided to give Ang and Trav a break from their crazy-parent schedule so we took the baby while they went home. He is a bundle of crazy. It's was way fun but also tiring. After that the whole family headed up to K.C. and did all of out Christmas stuff. It was a lot of fun. We opened presents, took a sleigh ride around the plaza, and did some shopping.

The rest of my break has been as such:
The first week I wasted watching T.V. Every time I come home for a break it seems that I have to gorge myself on T.V. (since I don't watch any at school) until I remember how much it really sucks. You guys T.V. is lame. So incredibly lame. Don't be offended. I'm not judging you for watching T.V. Just look at what you are watching. Do you really want to fill your mind and your heart with that? I have to ask myself that question every day when boredom seeps in and I am tempted to believe that T.V. is the only thing that will entertain me.

After that I snapped into gear and finally started to spend time with God. That has been the best part of my break. God has been rooting and grounding me in His love. He has been calling me into deeper obedience (I hate it when I am disobedient). He is revealing areas where He wants to mature me. Side note: God knows the difference between immaturity and disobedience. Yay! He has been burdening me with specific things to intercede for. He has been teaching me about envy. He is building my relationship with the Holy Spirit. He has been teaching me about grace.
I am so thankful that though God always loves me where I am, He loves me so much that He won't leave me in my complacency, immaturity, or disobedience. I am so thankful for this break from school and that God has done so much more with this time than I expected.

Thank you IHOP

2006-12-07T16:18:00.000-09:00

Thank you International House of Prayer for making the GBF (global bridegroom fast) free to watch all this week.
Listened to some Merchant Band this morning.
Enjoying some Misty Edwards-ness right now. Amazing!

"You are stronger in my weakness

So I'll lean into Your strength.

You are greater when I diminish

So I'll lean into Your grace"

Finals Week

2006-12-06T15:50:00.000-09:00

I've only had two real finals and they were both today. They weren't that bad and were both Bible classes which makes it really fun.
I've spent more time in the prayer room this week than studying or taking finals. That's just the way I like it. It's been a challenge to pray this week. There is so much emotional stuff involved along with a large amount of rumors and misinformation. It can get really frustrating to have to sift through all the junk.
Although this has been a hard transition for the college I feel like the main thing God wants to do in this time is have our full attention. I think it is easy, as a whole student body, to use Christ when it is convenient. I feel like God is calling this campus to decided whether we want Him or not. That sounds harsh, but God is jealous for Sterling College. He has wonderful plans for us and wants to see us have the best, which means a restored relationship with Him. He disciplines the ones He loves. Right now I'm pressing into that reality in prayer for the campus.
This week has really been hard on me because I've come to the end of myself and my strength and have to rely on God's strength. That's great! I really have to fight for the things I love, like prayer and Sterling College. Ultimately God is strengthening my relationship with Him and developing my passion for prayer and people. Awesome. It is just painful. Jesus never said dying to yourself was easy, that's why its called death.

(Un) offended

2006-12-02T22:07:00.000-09:00

Again, and it's one of those times you really hate repeats, there is turmoil on campus. For the 2nd semester in a row people are on the chopping block at Sterling College. Recently both our President of Academic Affairs and our VP of Student Life were fired for no reason. It is incredibly sad because they were both incredibly strong men of faith. There are rumors that more faculty will be cut when we leave for break. This is putting the students under incredible stress and in situations like this tend to make people angry. Here are my thoughts:

Though injustice needs to be dealt with, its not an excuse or reason to be angry with God. Only by digging into the word and having it written upon our hearts while coming before God in prayer and asking, "What is on Your heart?' over and over again will we remain unoffended. It's not that we're necessarily asking God to break down His plan step by step for us, but instead asking that our hearts would become like His. That (Having and knowledge and understanding of God's heart) will transcend and permeate any situation we are in or will be in for the rest of our lives.

On my mind and in my journal

2006-11-30T19:37:00.000-09:00

Here are some things that have been on my heart lately:

Holiness- I feel like God wants to raise up holy people on this campus. I have always replied with a"Yes!!!!....ummm...how?". Finally I feel like I have the beginning of an answer. As usual it is something that is simple, but it impacted me deeply. Here's the excerpt from my journal:

"God didn't say, 'Be holy' and leave it at that. He said, 'Be holy, as I am holy." He is our role model. He is our example, our blueprint, our mold. He is the one we are to look to in order to learn about what holiness is. As we look to Him we will be transformed into His likeness. Then we will be holy as He is holy."

The power of prayer- It seems like everyday I become more and more convinced regarding the power of prayer. God continues to show me the futility of my efforts apart from Him. More and more I feel the burden to pray. It's amazing and painful all at the same time.

"Prayer is as vast as God because He is behind it. Prayer is as might as God, because He has committed Himself to answer it."- Leonard Ravenhill.

Sterling College: "It's time to decide." 1 Kings 18:21

God wants our hearts. He wants people who won't play games and will love Him wholeheartedly.

Update on The 25...a week later

2006-11-18T12:27:00.000-09:00

The 25 went really well. We ended up getting all the slots filled (last minute sign-ups are the best). What was exciting for me was to see some freshman stepping up and taking leadership. We've got some cool up and coming worship-leaders on campus.
This 'hours of prayer' was a lot different than the 48 last spring. The whole campus seemed really dead, nobody was around (which never happens), but the prayer room had a steady stream of people. It always seemed like a very intimate setting, never having an overwhelming amount of people in the prayer room at once. It seemed like God wanted to really work in individuals lives a lot more than the group as a whole. God really knows best and knows that this is a time when most people are so tired of school and a just itching for thanksgiving. I think that this was a time more for sowing things (a.k.a. not seeing with our eyes what God is doing but paving the way for things to come) than reaping (getting to see the fruits of our prayers). God is wise to hide such things.
It was a good time for me, though being in charge of everything is crazy. It was crazy in that God allowed me to participate on what He is doing on campus through prayer. I loved it though. I could organize to facilitate prayer any day. God continued to confirm in me what I am called to do, what I was created to do and that is a miracle in itself. It is also really refreshing and is helping me focus a lot more on what is important.
Praise God for the 25! Let's keeping asking for "More!" and praying for the next 'hours of prayer' in the spring.

"Maybe I just have a fat, girly face"

2006-11-13T14:00:00.000-09:00

Kudos to Relevant magazine online for highlighting this hilarious news story. The best part is the quote used as my title. Just check it out, it should make your day.

The 25

2006-11-09T18:05:00.000-09:00

The 25 hours of prayer is upon us!
That was a little melodramatic.
No, strike that...
It is exciting.
Last year The 48 was amazing. Getting that many people to pray for that long and seeing such a dramatic change in people's lives is definitely not something accomplished by human efforts.
Though this is a crazy time of year people are signing up (we still need more slots filled though. God will provide). I know that God is going to move again as we come before Him in prayer. God answers the cries of the hungry, thirsty, desperate, and lovesick with Himself.

Pray for us as we pray.
Pray that those who are hurting and heartbroken to find healing.
Pray for those who are confused that they would have clarity and discernment.
Pray for those who are looking for meaning in life, that they would find their definition in who God is and who God has made.
Pray for those who are questioning, that they would be answered.
Pray that God would move in amazing ways on this campus and cause people to love God and each other in a new way.

Ahh...weekend!

2006-11-02T19:18:00.000-09:00

The roomie, Jean, and I are heading to Manhattan! No, not New York (though that would be quite a extraordinary weekend get-away), Manhattan KS, home of the Wild-cats and my best friend Ellen!
A Sterling graduate is performing in Tartuffe this weekend and we wanted to see that and I definitely wanted to see Ellen. How long has it been since I've seen her? Since this summer? Too long. I finally get to come visit her, like we always promised to do, and to meet all her K-State friends.
I'm looking forward to it. I think Jean and I will have a fun road trip up there, a good time seeing Tartuffe, and hanging out with the Ellen.

In other news....
This has been a completely odd week.
I almost no homework.
We had a Halloween barn dance thing Tuesday night. It was fun to see everyone's costumes. My favorite was my friend's recreation of the "American Gothic" painting.
As much as I've wanted to pray and study the Bible (after a long period of knowing I want to do it but never getting to it) it was really hard and I seemed to face a lot of obstacles that kept me from it. I really have enjoyed my time in the Prayer Room on campus though. God has been blessing me with the perseverance to pray, which is a huge blessing. Sometimes prayer can be such a battle!
I'm also gearing up for the 25 hours of prayer next weekend, I know God is going to do big things on this campus! To see what I mean check out any post on The 48 from last spring (March-April).

Fall Breather

2006-10-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

Fall Breather, one of the best ideas for a break ever, was last Monday and Tuesday, which means an awesomely long weekend. Instead of just hanging out at home all the time, which I did last year, I lead a school trip up to the International House of Prayer-KC (referred to as the ihop from here on out). How did I get this super-cool responsibility? Because I'm a chaplain, that's why! (By the way, I love all of my chaplain duties it's amazing!)

A total of 9 students went, which was just the perfect amount. The students who went were also perfect for this trip. I feel like God hand-picked them to go on this trip. Though I knew everyone on the trip and knew they were responsible, there is always that fear that the leader will become the baby-sitter, in a sense. Thankfully I never had to do that and never felt the tension between simultaneously being a friend and a leader. The whole trip was amazing, God was definitely leading it and blessing it. Logistically, which is my least favorite part, everything went so smooth. I was never stressed by anything and nothing that could've gone wrong did.

Also, the students who went, and myself included, were all impacted by God while we were there. We spent most of our days in the prayer room and just soaked in the presence of God. We also had some group meetings to pray together and talk about what we had been experiencing.

For me, it was amazing to see how everything came together in the end. David, my chaplain co-chair and a pretty cool guy, had been planning this for a few months wondering how everything would really come together. It was neat for me to bring others (I'm friends with most of the group) to a place that is so close to my heart and see them experience it. It was amazing to pray with them and talk to them about what they were experiencing with God and to see them flourish in prayer and Bible study.

Photos from www.ihop.org

I want my caramel Apple Cider, dangit!

2006-10-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting at Mokas waiting for my apple cider to be done.
Anyway.
It is Fall breather (Monday and Tuesday off=yay!) and I'm at home until Sunday.
Sunday I leave with a group of 8 other Sterling-ites and we head up to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. I love that my chaplain duties include taking people to places I love. My co-chair buddy David F. and I organized the whole trip. Unfortunately he is not able to go as he tore his ACL a few weeks ago and just had surgery. So I'm completely in charge. No sponsor or anything. Just a sophomore telling everyone else what to do. That's bad planning.
The good part is that those who are coming are all responsible and are all my friends. We should get along just fine.
I'll actually have to update my blog sometime. Life has been crazy busy, or cruzy.
Oh, and I cut my hair today.
And colored it.
ha!