If you needed any proof that all Christians are in the same church and body of Christ then just keep your eyes open and talk to your brothers and sisters. I think you will be amazed to see at the things God does individually in our hearts across the corporate body. I was very encouraged to stumble across this post by Brent Steeno (http://steeno.wordpress.com/). I feel that this is where I am at right now, especially the part I will bold/highlight below. I am not alone. God's loving kindness is better than life.
March 14th, 2007
Do I Really Believe?
I am finding that it is much easier to talk about situations then to actually walk through them. On the front side it is easy to give advice to someone about the trials that we go through in life and on the back side it is easy to look back and remember that it was not as hard as it seems. But in the middle of trying circumstances and situations it is not as easy as one thought. Your heart is put to test in the middle of it. Everything you have believed is suddenly put right in your face and the challenge is to fully embrace what the Lord is doing in your life.
I find myself it such a season. It is a season that I have thought about for some time, knew I would enter into and tried to prepare my heart for the best way that I knew how. But I realize that it was a subject that I seemed relatively comfortable to talk about but now that I am in that season I realize it is more arduous then I at one time thought.
My challenge in this season is this: Do I really believe in the nature and character of God? Do I really believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him? Do I really believe that the great “eye” of God is searching to and fro through out the earth looking for those whose hearts are fully given to Him? Do I really believe that the hand of God is upon my life and He is directing my steps?
Again, on the front end I could say yes without much of a struggle and I know that at the end of this season I will say yes with the utmost confidence. But it is this time, the great in-between, that I feel the Lord is testing my heart and really getting at the areas of unbelief that I have tried to conceal deep down in the depths of my own heart.
This is a painful process but one that is very much needed if I am going to go the places with the Lord that I want to go. I have to learn to trust the leadership of God upon my life and lean into in every season, even the seasons in which I feel as though His “eye” is not upon me. The more I think about the more I realize that it is in the seasons that you think His “eye” is not upon you, that you are just another person lost in the masses of humanity, it is in that very season, that very time that His great “eye” is upon you all the more. His eye is upon you wanting you to respond to Him correctly in this season. The joy the Father must feel when in these times, the times when no one is looking and we feel forgotten, that we choose to still give ourselves to the Lord. Oh the overwhelming emotions that must well up in the heart of our Father when we choose to live by faith and not by sight. When we choose to love Him back and cultivate our heart in meekness and humility knowing that this is what our Father in heaven wants for us.
So, I guess I know realize that it is in this time, when I feel alone and on the backside of the mountain that His eye is even more intensely upon me, watching how my little heart responds. Yikes! That KABOD!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Trusting God with Judgment
This is something I wrote a long time ago and I opened it up today and thought, "Hey, that's not bad." I might expound on it more later but I'll just publish it as it is today.
Judgment is a word our culture doesn’t like to hear except maybe in the context of a courtroom drama. Ideas like a harsh judge, an angry parent, or an angry God may come into our minds when we try to understand judgment. A lot of our ideas of judgment come from our misinterpretations and misunderstandings of the Old Testament ideas of judgment. Many times we see ourselves as the ones at the end of God’s wrath and thus shy away from this concept.
First, I want to discuss this idea of being objects of wrath. The Bible says that “God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses wrath everyday” (Psalm 7:11. NIV), so yes, it is something we need to understand. What we commonly misunderstand is who God’s wrath is against. God is a judge but he is also our advocate. God hates anything that gets in our way of getting to Him. God desires to strip away those things in the world and in our lives that block us from Him. God does judge our sin, but it is more out of desire to free us from sin than to condemn us for it.
Ephesians 2:3-5, says,
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying our sinful nature and following judge, desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”
It’s clear that though we were objects of wrath, Jesus had covered our sins. Therefore, we can look at Jesus as our advocate and ask him to judge areas in our lives that are keeping us from the fullness of knowing God and bring them into alignment with His word and heart.
Our idea of God also influences the way we view judgment. If we do view God as anything less than He is, basically anything human, than we reduce his obligation and desire to judge. If God is righteous, loving, holy, and is good then He must judge. If He is righteous He will not stand that which is sinful. If He loves He will not allow the world to be consumed and ravaged by sin and the suffering that accompanies it. If He is holy He will not stand for that which profanes the good things He has created. Judgment is necessary for restoration and reconciliation. If we do not believe that these things motivate all of God’s actions then we cannot trust him.
So why else can we trust God to judge? The answer is Jesus. Jesus is our judge. In Revelation 5, a search goes out to find one worthy to open the scrolls that will release God’s judgments on the earth. But no one was found worthy, not “in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look at it” (Rev. 5:3). Finally the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, Jesus, was found to be worthy. What makes Jesus worthy? Isaiah 53 provides an answer. Jesus the man knew our sorrows and suffering as well as taking upon himself our transgression and iniquities. Jesus suffered under the wrath of God and understands the depths of God’s judgments. Also, Jesus, the Son of God, knows better than anyone the heart of the father. He too, desires that none would perish, but would know God (2 Peter 3:9).
Think what would happen if we were responsible for judging our own or others wrong doing. When it comes to human nature the idea of Occum’s Razor applies here, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The one who is fully man and fully God is perfectly suited to unleash God’s judgments. He is the truth and can be trusted with the rod of justice.
Judgment is a word our culture doesn’t like to hear except maybe in the context of a courtroom drama. Ideas like a harsh judge, an angry parent, or an angry God may come into our minds when we try to understand judgment. A lot of our ideas of judgment come from our misinterpretations and misunderstandings of the Old Testament ideas of judgment. Many times we see ourselves as the ones at the end of God’s wrath and thus shy away from this concept.
First, I want to discuss this idea of being objects of wrath. The Bible says that “God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses wrath everyday” (Psalm 7:11. NIV), so yes, it is something we need to understand. What we commonly misunderstand is who God’s wrath is against. God is a judge but he is also our advocate. God hates anything that gets in our way of getting to Him. God desires to strip away those things in the world and in our lives that block us from Him. God does judge our sin, but it is more out of desire to free us from sin than to condemn us for it.
Ephesians 2:3-5, says,
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying our sinful nature and following judge, desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”
It’s clear that though we were objects of wrath, Jesus had covered our sins. Therefore, we can look at Jesus as our advocate and ask him to judge areas in our lives that are keeping us from the fullness of knowing God and bring them into alignment with His word and heart.
Our idea of God also influences the way we view judgment. If we do view God as anything less than He is, basically anything human, than we reduce his obligation and desire to judge. If God is righteous, loving, holy, and is good then He must judge. If He is righteous He will not stand that which is sinful. If He loves He will not allow the world to be consumed and ravaged by sin and the suffering that accompanies it. If He is holy He will not stand for that which profanes the good things He has created. Judgment is necessary for restoration and reconciliation. If we do not believe that these things motivate all of God’s actions then we cannot trust him.
So why else can we trust God to judge? The answer is Jesus. Jesus is our judge. In Revelation 5, a search goes out to find one worthy to open the scrolls that will release God’s judgments on the earth. But no one was found worthy, not “in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look at it” (Rev. 5:3). Finally the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, Jesus, was found to be worthy. What makes Jesus worthy? Isaiah 53 provides an answer. Jesus the man knew our sorrows and suffering as well as taking upon himself our transgression and iniquities. Jesus suffered under the wrath of God and understands the depths of God’s judgments. Also, Jesus, the Son of God, knows better than anyone the heart of the father. He too, desires that none would perish, but would know God (2 Peter 3:9).
Think what would happen if we were responsible for judging our own or others wrong doing. When it comes to human nature the idea of Occum’s Razor applies here, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The one who is fully man and fully God is perfectly suited to unleash God’s judgments. He is the truth and can be trusted with the rod of justice.
The Keyboard is back!
The keyboard is back and this time returns with a brand new hard case. The hard case looks really cool and professional. Unfortunately it weighs a bit more than usual (sarcasm=a lot!).
Spring "Break"
Break is in quotes because Choir Tour is not only not a break, but a frenzy of long bus rides, concerts, little sleep, and people around you 24/7. I will give you a few highlights
The Bus:
This was the thorn in our flesh for the whole trip. In New Mexico/Arizona (the desert) the air conditioning stopped working. We tripped to fix it multiple times but we did not have it until we headed back through Colorado where it wasn't needed.
A semi side swiped us on the L.A. Freeway and almost completely knocked off one of our rear view mirrors.
On the pass in Colorado the fuel filter stopped working. When our driver pushed the gas the bus only went 20 miles per hour so he put it in neutral and we coasted down the mountain for 15 miles at speeds of 60-70mph.
The beach:
That was the best. This is where a majority of my pictures were taken. Prepare to be montaged!
Me playing in the water.
Kansas kids on the beach
David and Nate recreate some scenes from Baywatch.
My buddy Curtis and I trying to pull some stunts.
The Bus:
This was the thorn in our flesh for the whole trip. In New Mexico/Arizona (the desert) the air conditioning stopped working. We tripped to fix it multiple times but we did not have it until we headed back through Colorado where it wasn't needed.
A semi side swiped us on the L.A. Freeway and almost completely knocked off one of our rear view mirrors.
On the pass in Colorado the fuel filter stopped working. When our driver pushed the gas the bus only went 20 miles per hour so he put it in neutral and we coasted down the mountain for 15 miles at speeds of 60-70mph.
The beach:
That was the best. This is where a majority of my pictures were taken. Prepare to be montaged!
Me playing in the water.
Kansas kids on the beach
Jeanwise and Mollywise find some kelp.
Kelp: Weeds of the Sea!
David and Nate recreate some scenes from Baywatch.
Ben and I waltz on the beach!
Me, Molly, and Jean are enjoying the beach!
My buddy Curtis and I trying to pull some stunts.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Did I forget anything?
Right now I am packing for our Choir trip to California. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think I started too early because I'm just chilling out in the room wandering what to do with myself.
I did laundry last night.
I have all of my outfits ready to go.
I know what needs to go in my backpack.
I have my Ipod all charged.
I switched my music into a bigger choir folder to fit it all.
I laid out my outfit for tomorrow.
Hmmm. I guess I'll just enjoy some free time. Weird.
I did laundry last night.
I have all of my outfits ready to go.
I know what needs to go in my backpack.
I have my Ipod all charged.
I switched my music into a bigger choir folder to fit it all.
I laid out my outfit for tomorrow.
Hmmm. I guess I'll just enjoy some free time. Weird.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
God, time management, and college: Part 2
No one posted anything as a suggestion on the last post of a similar title, so I'm just going to go ahead with something I've been thinking about and trying to implement in my own life lately. These posts are mainly for my peers who have lately expressed frustration at trying to strike a balance in their college life and spiritual life.
Vision
The vision you have for your life, from what I hear, can really make or break your time-management attempts. Having a vision will help you evaluate in the hours, days, weeks, and months of your life what is really important. It will be the plumb line that evaluates if the walls of your life are being built straight and level. So how do we start? What principles do we need to know? What does it look like?
How do we start?
Pray- Ask God what His plan is for you. Ask this question often. Ask this question regarding the near and far future. What does God have for you this month? What does God have planned for you throughout college? What career/field are you called to? And, perhaps the most important question, "Where do I fit in eternity? What is my eternal purpose?" (note:some of these answers in their more general form can be found in the Bible. Thanks God!)
Evaluate- What are your likes/dislikes? What are you passionate about? What things are you drawn to? Survey your friends- What skills/talents/abilities do they notice in you? Where do you tend to spend your time?
What principles do we need to know?
There are various types of goals- It can often be easier to set goals for yourself in sections. It could be broken down into things like education, talents, time, career, relationships, financial, health, relationship with God. Mike Bickle of the International House of Prayer said, "Our commitments define us. Without something to die for there is nothing to live for. Getting a clear picture of who we can be can impact our lives. Do you have a vision, not for where your career, family, or schooling is going, but for your heart?" (paraphrase).
Perspective is important- Often times we can use goals as an evaluation of how we compare with others. That will lead to envy and that is never a fun place to be. When it comes to spiritual goals (especially) it is good to set goals that don't deal with things we can necessarily see. For example, some of my goals this year were as follows:
What does it look like?
It probably looks more normal than you think. We don't go around noticing the people that really do manage their time well because they seem so normal. A balanced schedule( and therefore priorities) is just that: balanced. You don't have to spend your whole college career in Chapel, in prayer, and Bible Study 24/7. You don't have to move your dorm room into the library either. If you find yourself neglecting your school work and classes because you are spending so much time secluded in your prayer closet either try to adjust your schedule so you have time for school or move to a monastery/convent/24-7 prayer ministry (vice versa for spending too much time studying). After all, if you are in school it's probably because you felt called by God to be there and be a student.
Being faithful in the small things like homework, showing up, and being responsible can mean a lot to God. Believe it or not, being a student can be a ministry. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying! God is faithful and wants you to succeed in this area of your life (note to self: heed your words)
Maybe there will be more to come later. Still accepting comments, personal stories/experience, and or any type of feedback at all. Don't be shy.
Vision
The vision you have for your life, from what I hear, can really make or break your time-management attempts. Having a vision will help you evaluate in the hours, days, weeks, and months of your life what is really important. It will be the plumb line that evaluates if the walls of your life are being built straight and level. So how do we start? What principles do we need to know? What does it look like?
How do we start?
Pray- Ask God what His plan is for you. Ask this question often. Ask this question regarding the near and far future. What does God have for you this month? What does God have planned for you throughout college? What career/field are you called to? And, perhaps the most important question, "Where do I fit in eternity? What is my eternal purpose?" (note:some of these answers in their more general form can be found in the Bible. Thanks God!)
Evaluate- What are your likes/dislikes? What are you passionate about? What things are you drawn to? Survey your friends- What skills/talents/abilities do they notice in you? Where do you tend to spend your time?
What principles do we need to know?
There are various types of goals- It can often be easier to set goals for yourself in sections. It could be broken down into things like education, talents, time, career, relationships, financial, health, relationship with God. Mike Bickle of the International House of Prayer said, "Our commitments define us. Without something to die for there is nothing to live for. Getting a clear picture of who we can be can impact our lives. Do you have a vision, not for where your career, family, or schooling is going, but for your heart?" (paraphrase).
Perspective is important- Often times we can use goals as an evaluation of how we compare with others. That will lead to envy and that is never a fun place to be. When it comes to spiritual goals (especially) it is good to set goals that don't deal with things we can necessarily see. For example, some of my goals this year were as follows:
- I want to weep over the word because my heart is tender before the Lord
- I want to be known in the courts of heaven, not the courts of men.
- I want to be found faithful coming before God like Mary of Bethany; sitting before Jesus' feet to hear His word and voice.
What does it look like?
It probably looks more normal than you think. We don't go around noticing the people that really do manage their time well because they seem so normal. A balanced schedule( and therefore priorities) is just that: balanced. You don't have to spend your whole college career in Chapel, in prayer, and Bible Study 24/7. You don't have to move your dorm room into the library either. If you find yourself neglecting your school work and classes because you are spending so much time secluded in your prayer closet either try to adjust your schedule so you have time for school or move to a monastery/convent/24-7 prayer ministry (vice versa for spending too much time studying). After all, if you are in school it's probably because you felt called by God to be there and be a student.
Being faithful in the small things like homework, showing up, and being responsible can mean a lot to God. Believe it or not, being a student can be a ministry. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying! God is faithful and wants you to succeed in this area of your life (note to self: heed your words)
Maybe there will be more to come later. Still accepting comments, personal stories/experience, and or any type of feedback at all. Don't be shy.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away
So I did get my keyboard back. It was in tip top shape for a few days. Sunday I brought it to Sunday Chapel because our praise band was playing. I tried to plug it in to 5 different outlets and nothing happened. So my friend Tiffiney brought her piano and saved the day.
So the keyboard is going back to shop this week. Super.
So the keyboard is going back to shop this week. Super.
So close I can almost taste it....oh wait...it's mostly my apathy
Spring Break commences far too early this Friday!!! The whole choir is taking off for southern California for 10 days of concerts, sun, and bus rides!!! (The exclamation points don't apply to the bus rides.) We load up at 4:30am Friday.
I think we will have a good trip. We have way more concerts than we did last year, which is good. The most exciting thing for me is that most of our Praise Band (the ones in choir) were chosen to lead worship one night on the beach!!!! How do I get to do such cool stuff!!!
I'm also staying at The Nate Prior's house with my choir buddies Jean and Molly. All sorts of craziness should result.
Please pray for us as we travel and perform (sickness tends to run rampant when we spend all day, every day together), and especially when we're on the beach. We don't want anyone to burn :)
I think we will have a good trip. We have way more concerts than we did last year, which is good. The most exciting thing for me is that most of our Praise Band (the ones in choir) were chosen to lead worship one night on the beach!!!! How do I get to do such cool stuff!!!
I'm also staying at The Nate Prior's house with my choir buddies Jean and Molly. All sorts of craziness should result.
Please pray for us as we travel and perform (sickness tends to run rampant when we spend all day, every day together), and especially when we're on the beach. We don't want anyone to burn :)
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Prepare, Sow, Persevere, Reap
Galatians 6:7-9 and Hosea 10:12 are verses that God has really highlighted to me in the past few weeks and I also feel are important to Sterling College :
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:7-9
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:7-9
Sow with a view to righteousness,
Reap in accordance with kindness;
Break up your fallow ground,
For it is time to seek the LORD
Until He comes to rain righteousness on you.
Hosea 10:12
(fallow ground: land that has not been used for a period of time. So....expose and prepare those areas in your life that you have allowed to lie dormant to be used. This referred to Israel's idolatry so today's application could be to bring some hidden on ignored sin before God to seek forgiveness and restoration.)
Let us seek the Lord and sow in faith for things in our future, first exposing those areas that need some attention to God, expecting Him to rain upon them in righteousness.
This is the prayer of my heart: That God would prepare my heart by breaking up the hard ground, exposing and uprooting the weeds, and preparing it to receive His word, Spirit, and love, as well as help me to persevere in my side of tending to my garden.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Tragedy Strikes (and it sounds a lot like a B flat)
God has been giving me a lot of different opportunities to worship lead lately and that is really exciting. It is so humbling to know that when I open my mouth to sing and move my fingers to play that anything that happens to those listening, whether they are convicted, comforted, receive guidance or revelation, or feel God's love it's not because anything I'm doing except trying to be obedient to what God has called me to do and trying to depend on Him to find out what that is.
So, I was worship leading for Evan's Worship Wednesday Night (it went really well and was a blast). My Mennokid (someone who's the product by denomination or family history of Mennonites) friend Erin leads Evan's Worship and she gave me this awesome opportunity. At the end of worship one of my fellow Chaplains and all around cool guy, John H, volunteered to help me take my keyboard out to Erin's car to bring it back to my dorm. I can't carry my keyboard on my own, so I was perfectly cool with him taking it for me.
We were 3 steps outside the door when I heard this noise, "Snap! Thud!". If there was ever such a heart sinking noise. I turned around and John looked up at me with these huge eyes and said, "I'm SOOOO sorry!!!!! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! The thing broke!". Sure enough, with absolutely nothing to do with John, the strap that went from end to end of the case broke and one half of my keyboard was resting on the cement. I assured John, Erin, and Joel (innocent bystander) that it should be fine and we can just roll it to the car.
We brought it back to the dorm and Erin helped me set it up. I noticed right away that the B-flat key, 2 below middle C, was smushed down a little. That's God's mercy right there. So many more keys could have been injured and to a much more severe degree. I really wasn't all that worried. God really provided for this keyboard so that I could worship lead. I believed that God would continue to provide.
So the next day we called the place where we bought it and told them the whole story. Since it was the case that broke the agreed to pay for all the repairs as well as putting $125 towards a new case (the cost of the first case). So in a few weeks I will have a repaired keyboard, free of charge, and a new hard case that was basically 50% off. God is good and He truly loves to bless His children with good gifts.
Come back quickly, Kawai!
So, I was worship leading for Evan's Worship Wednesday Night (it went really well and was a blast). My Mennokid (someone who's the product by denomination or family history of Mennonites) friend Erin leads Evan's Worship and she gave me this awesome opportunity. At the end of worship one of my fellow Chaplains and all around cool guy, John H, volunteered to help me take my keyboard out to Erin's car to bring it back to my dorm. I can't carry my keyboard on my own, so I was perfectly cool with him taking it for me.
We were 3 steps outside the door when I heard this noise, "Snap! Thud!". If there was ever such a heart sinking noise. I turned around and John looked up at me with these huge eyes and said, "I'm SOOOO sorry!!!!! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! The thing broke!". Sure enough, with absolutely nothing to do with John, the strap that went from end to end of the case broke and one half of my keyboard was resting on the cement. I assured John, Erin, and Joel (innocent bystander) that it should be fine and we can just roll it to the car.
We brought it back to the dorm and Erin helped me set it up. I noticed right away that the B-flat key, 2 below middle C, was smushed down a little. That's God's mercy right there. So many more keys could have been injured and to a much more severe degree. I really wasn't all that worried. God really provided for this keyboard so that I could worship lead. I believed that God would continue to provide.
So the next day we called the place where we bought it and told them the whole story. Since it was the case that broke the agreed to pay for all the repairs as well as putting $125 towards a new case (the cost of the first case). So in a few weeks I will have a repaired keyboard, free of charge, and a new hard case that was basically 50% off. God is good and He truly loves to bless His children with good gifts.
Come back quickly, Kawai!
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