New Link

Hey all,
Sorry I'm boring. I'm not keeping up with blogging. Oh well. Such is life.
Anyway....
I'm going to Thailand this summer and our team is starting to blog. I've posted the link down at the bottom.
If you want to check us out go to http://thethailandexpress.blogspot.com

Let Every Heart

I am counting down the days to Graduation and my wedding. Everyone says and knows that this semester is going to go fast and yet we are still surprised that, in fact, it is. This is a interesting time in my life, a strange and significant time where their is a natural tension between making decisions and waiting.

This last week in my alone time and time with God, this theme that had been recurring in my mind was finally made clear. For some time this theme was just lingering there, kind of like background music. This theme is "Prepare Him Room".

I know it is not longer advent season, but somehow the words "Let every heart prepare him room" seem to resonate with me. I guess I'm in some sort of advent season. It's a time of waiting that is not empty or static, but is filled with hope and is preparatory. I know that somehow there is a change coming in my relationship with God. I feel that the answer to my often frenzied schedule and desire to somehow be less busy (a.k.a in charge) is going to be answered. I know it may look different than I expect, but I know that advent means that Christ is coming.

After long years of praying, serving, leading, and letting those things run me down instead of filling me up, I desire to be closer to God and I know I need it. I really want Christ to be the center of my life. I have let other things grab my attention and keep it. I have taken on responsibilities that may be good but not the best fit for me. I have let my own pride and zeal, along with things I really do enjoy, call the shots of what I am involved in.

So here I am. Tired. Ready to move on. Needing some time to reflect and be restored. And I feel called to "prepare him room". I don't know exactly what that will look like. I guess I'll be trying to listen to God and act boldly as I hash that out with Him. But I'm also really encouraged. God will bring me to that most necessary place of rest, 'shalom', and restored relationship with Him.

Something new

Hey blog readers...whoever you may be!

I just added a new link to a website. My friend Molly and I posted this website to get the word out about our senior service project.

We're really excited about it but definitely need your prayer support!

We'll keep updating it as we get information.

Awake '08

I'm back

Hey. I just returned from The Call in Nashville! (California was great by the way). It was one of the most beautiful, powerful, life-changing days I've had in my life. I'm still processing everything. I'll have to give a full update once I journal, reflect, and rest up. Until then I leave you with what happened towards the end of the day (There was a repentance walk at 7am, The Call started at 10 and ended at 10=long day)
Watch:

Fasting!!!

I am heading to The Call this summer and I am way excited to be partnering with God's heart and interceding for my generation and this nation. Here is some more information about the 40 day fast leading up to The Call. Be sure to check out www.thecall.com for more information. If God lays it on your heart please pray for those who choose to fast, for the grace to fast and press into Jesus, as well as praying for the event itself (they are expecting 100,000 people to come).

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God has graciously raised up Lou Engle to call America to a 40 day fast. Lou has mobilized thousands of leaders who are committed to this vision as well. All the major Christian TV networks are announcing it to get the word out - it is time for America to fast and pray as a nation. The article below, written by Lou, explains the urgency behind this initiative. The IHOP-KC family is standing with The Call and believers during these 40 days. Please forward this to everyone you know who has a heart for America.
www.fastandpray.com



There are moments in history when a door for massive change opens, and great revolutions for good or evil spring up in the vacuum created by these openings. In these divine moments, key men, women and even entire generations risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point that determines which way the door will swing.

The rebellious generation of the ’60s seized its moment, and history crashed into the deep abyss of drug addiction, sexual immorality, hatred for authority and a rejection of the law of God. In 1967, there was a culminating and defining moment in that rebellion, when 100,000 young people, ages 15–25 flocked to San Francisco to experience the hippie movement. This mass convergence was sparked by the hit song, “San Francisco” (Wear a Flower in your Hair). Once there, these young adults experimented with LSD, pot, casual sex and Eastern mysticism in what became known as the “Summer of Love.”

When these newly recruited ‘Flower Children’ returned home at the end of the summer, they brought with them new styles and ideas, flooding the cities of the US and Europe with a message that opposed authority and scorned conservative morals. This counterculture rebellion was fueled by music and art, which rapidly shifted global culture.

For 40 years, we have been falling headlong into a black moral morass in America along with the western world. We are reaping the waves of destruction in every sector of our post Christian society. Can America survive another 40 years? We are declaring “NO! A thousand times NO!” Unless a massive spiritual shift occurs at this moment, our children will live under an antichrist system and Godless enculturation that will bring about the demise of America, as we know it.

But God has a prescription for such a massive shift and it is revealed in the power of the great transitional 40-day fast. God, in His sovereign control over the parade of history, delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. Longing to release a moral code that would give foundations for righteousness, for time and eternity, God summoned Moses to a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai. Through this fast, all of history changed and the law of God was delivered from Heaven to Earth. Therefore, if America is going to return to God, it must recover that law again as its foundation for truth.

Elijah, at the height of Jezebel’s cultic dominion over Israel fasted 40 days, broke the spell of Jezebel off of his own life and received a mandate to anoint the next generation. Elijah’s fast unleashed a movement that toppled Jezebel’s regime of hell, which perpetrated the destruction of family, the killing of innocent children, the silencing of the voice of God’s people and the widespread culture of sexual immorality. The fruit of this fast culminated in the utter destruction of Baal worship in Israel.

Also in the fullness of time, the Glorious Gospel era was born when Jesus fasted 40 days and those who sat in darkness saw a great light. Clearly the 40-day fast is Heaven’s great transitional prescription, moving nations from failure to fulfillment of promise. Is it any surprise that when Jesus was to enter into His great sacrifice—where death would be swallowed up in victory—Elijah and Moses appear with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration. All three were together as the 40-day fasters. They presided over the great transitions of history.

When the Israelites were poised to move into the Promise Land, spies were sent out for 40 days. When they returned carrying an evil report, a whole generation was infected with unbelief and they turned their back on the Promise Land. God’s sentence on that generation was “And your sons shall be wanderers in the wilderness for forty years and bear the brunt of your infidelity until your carcasses are consumed in the wilderness. According to the number of the days in which you spied out the land forty days, for each day you shall bear your guilt one year, namely forty years, and you shall know my rejection.” (Numbers 14:33–34) It was 40 years of judgment for 40 days failure.

Conversely, the great prophet Ezekiel received a 40-day prayer assignment for a 40-year failure of Judah’s iniquity. “Lie again on your right side, then you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Judah, forty days I have laid on you a day for each year.” (Ezekiel 4:6) It was clearly 40 days prayer for 40 years of failure.

When Jesus fasted 40 days and was tempted of the devil He quoted from the book of Deuteronomy saying “It is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” And again, “You shall not tempt the Lord thy God” and again, “You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you worship.” Jesus, in His victory over Satan, was quoting the book of Deuteronomy, the portion of scripture delivered by Moses to the generation who failed in the desert. Jesus, in His 40-day fast, was clearly identifying with that passage of scripture and the generation that came out of Egypt. As an intercessor in His 40-day fast, Jesus was fulfilling what a generation had failed in for 40 years.

Forty years are up! Could the Church of America in a 40-day fast deliver a nation out of a 40-year curse? We have scriptural precedent to believe for such a turning! Therefore, we are trumpeting a call to 40 days of fasting like Moses, Elijah, Ezekiel and Jesus. We must bear the iniquity in 40 days of fasting and intercession for the past 40 years of divorcing God in America, embracing a culture of sexual immorality, hedonism, materialism, abortion and the rejection of Christ in public places. But we are also calling for 40 days of fasting and prayer for the greatest outbreak of Kingdom power, in signs and wonders, and the spiritual awakening in America that will collide with this present darkness and topple its cultural dominion over our people. Thousands went on 40-day fasts in 1946 and in 1947, the great healing revivals broke out. In 1948, the Latter Rain outpourings began, Bill Bright and Billy Graham’s ministries were born, and Israel became a nation. Could it be that the 40-day fast preceded this explosion of power by the Spirit? After Jesus’ 40-day fast, the scripture says He returned in the power of the Spirit. Yes the promise of Joel 2 is that after the fast, “I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh…”

Forty years ago, in 1967, the Jesus Movement broke out. A youth revival started on the streets swept across the country, exploding on college campuses and coffee houses. People were being saved everywhere. Now 40 years later, we are crying out for God to do it again, way beyond the Jesus Movement!

In 1967, in a war and obviously by the supernatural hand of God, Jerusalem was taken and once again brought under the control of the state of Israel. This was a monumental signpost in the shifting of eras. The dispensation of the times of the Gentiles was now beginning to shift to the times when Jerusalem will become the last days focus for God’s activity in the Earth. For 40 days, we are joining Israel in a 40-day fast crying out to God that Israel would see their Messiah and they would begin to receive their greatest spiritual awakening since the days of the Apostles.

Brothers and sisters, moments like these come only once in a lifetime. To miss such a moment could mean missing the purpose of God for a generation. The generation that refused to cross over the Jordan did not know that they had only one day to make the decision, and missing that day meant 40 years in the desert.

Even now we are receiving reports that other countries are calling 40-day fasts. Could we be in a Global 40-day season of fasting (like Jesus), to see a global outbreak of light when great darkness is covering the Earth? Beginning the evening of May 28, we are calling two generations to 40 days of fasting and prayer culminating on 7–7–07, the perfection of time. In a massive, national gathering of fasting, intercession, repentance and worship, we seek to declare our desire to remarry the Lord. We want to cross over into the promise land of national revival. We want to break this 40-year curse. May thousands seek God in water, juice and Daniel fasts from May 28 through 7–7–07, The Call in Nashville.
What would happen in America if for 40 days we sealed the electronic cultural sewer that flows nightly into our living rooms and instead, spent our strength seeking the Lord? What if tens of thousands of fathers and mothers across our nation fasted for 40 days repenting and cleansing themselves of inward toleration of sexual immorality, pornography, addiction to food, entertainment and materialism? What if they prayed daily for their spiritual and physical children to see them converted to Christ and freed from rebellion, from addictions, depression and suicide? What if the young generation fasted for 40 days to be cleansed from lust, media addiction and rebellion toward there parents, believing that a double portion of the Holy Spirit would come upon there lives?

Moses fasted 40 days and mentored a spiritual son named Joshua, which means the Lord saves. Elijah fasted 40 days and threw his mantle on a double portion son, Elisha, which means the Lord saves. Also, John the Baptist fasted in the desert and prepared the way for a double portion son named Jesus, which means the Lord saves. Jesus fasted 40 days and unleashed the apostolic glory of the eternal Son of God into the Earth. What if we are preparing a generation for the greatest day of salvation in history? And so, what if tens of thousands of both generations fast together and gather on 7–7–07 for The Call Nashville in LP Field, to cry out to God in a Joel 2 moment for great national returning to the Lord?

The parade of history has brought us into a profound generational landmark, and a great vacuum has opened again. If the church does not seize this moment, Muslims will! Antichrist rage will! Sexual perversion will! Anarchy will! But now is the time for key men and women, even an entire generation to risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point which determines which way the door will swing in America and in the nations of the Earth. It's 40 Days or 40 Years—seize the day!

We will be launching this fast with a worldwide simulcast on GOD TV on May 26, 2007. For all information on the 40-day fast and The Call Nashville please visit our websites.40 Days for 40 Years

The Keyboard is back!

The keyboard is back and this time returns with a brand new hard case. The hard case looks really cool and professional. Unfortunately it weighs a bit more than usual (sarcasm=a lot!).

Tragedy Strikes (and it sounds a lot like a B flat)

God has been giving me a lot of different opportunities to worship lead lately and that is really exciting. It is so humbling to know that when I open my mouth to sing and move my fingers to play that anything that happens to those listening, whether they are convicted, comforted, receive guidance or revelation, or feel God's love it's not because anything I'm doing except trying to be obedient to what God has called me to do and trying to depend on Him to find out what that is.

So, I was worship leading for Evan's Worship Wednesday Night (it went really well and was a blast). My Mennokid (someone who's the product by denomination or family history of Mennonites) friend Erin leads Evan's Worship and she gave me this awesome opportunity. At the end of worship one of my fellow Chaplains and all around cool guy, John H, volunteered to help me take my keyboard out to Erin's car to bring it back to my dorm. I can't carry my keyboard on my own, so I was perfectly cool with him taking it for me.

We were 3 steps outside the door when I heard this noise, "Snap! Thud!". If there was ever such a heart sinking noise. I turned around and John looked up at me with these huge eyes and said, "I'm SOOOO sorry!!!!! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! The thing broke!". Sure enough, with absolutely nothing to do with John, the strap that went from end to end of the case broke and one half of my keyboard was resting on the cement. I assured John, Erin, and Joel (innocent bystander) that it should be fine and we can just roll it to the car.

We brought it back to the dorm and Erin helped me set it up. I noticed right away that the B-flat key, 2 below middle C, was smushed down a little. That's God's mercy right there. So many more keys could have been injured and to a much more severe degree. I really wasn't all that worried. God really provided for this keyboard so that I could worship lead. I believed that God would continue to provide.

So the next day we called the place where we bought it and told them the whole story. Since it was the case that broke the agreed to pay for all the repairs as well as putting $125 towards a new case (the cost of the first case). So in a few weeks I will have a repaired keyboard, free of charge, and a new hard case that was basically 50% off. God is good and He truly loves to bless His children with good gifts.

Come back quickly, Kawai!

I heart Tuesdays

1. 3 classes-Folk Dance, Choir, and Highland singers
2. Tuesday Night Prayer!!!!
3. Learning how to depend on God for all my needs.

VBS summary

VBS went really well this year. There weren't as many specific occurrences that were outlandishly hilarious, but a few interesting moments, and many overall observations.
Here are a few things that made VBS interesting:

1. The lack of air-conditioning...not to mention it was the hottest week all summer, with temperatures of 107-112 all week. Some of the downstairs had great air conditioning while the sanctuary, where the kids started and ended the day, and the upstairs, where I did the drama in costume, were totally un-airconditioned. The first day the kids walked in to the drama room and cries of, "It's so hot!" and "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" were the first thing out of the kids mouths. Thankfully we found a tiny air-conditioning unit in the room next to ours and put all the fans in it and faced them towards our room. That helped a little.
2. Kids are different now... Not that I was an extremely moral person when I was in 4th-5th grade (if you know me at all you understand), but kids are changing. Mostly it's there attitudes. The occurrence of the belief that "I'm too cool for this" is manifesting in younger and younger kids. With that attitude most kids don't feel like respecting authority. Although kids seem to be growing up and learning more faster than they used to it's not all bad. While some kids are incredibly cocky and profane some kids are growing deeper in God faster and have an amazing understanding of what God is like.
3. Adults now treat kids different ... As kids attitudes change adults attitudes towards them change. As adults attitudes about kids changes, kids attitudes change. It seems that the churches in our community are less excited and involved in VBS. It used to be a huge deal. Now it seems that they have to put up with the inconvenience. Last year the churches agreed to increase the budget for VBS and only 2 out of the three did. When things were getting tight we asked to take an offering for VBS and some of the Churches said no. It seems that adults are increasingly apathetic toward youth. That is incredibly sad. This is the time to really impact their lives for the better and to do that we have to show them how much we care. Youth deserve more than half-hearted attempts to be nice to them. What they need to experience is self-sacrificial love. It seems that our community has lost its vision for youth outreach and because of that we have lost the youth.

So...that's the overall review of VBS, now to the fun parts.

The first day of the drama I presented the story of the friends bringing their paralyzed friend to Jesus (Luke 5:17-26). You know, the one where they tore a hole in the roof. The scripts came with background sounds to make it seem more realistic. The sounds for that day were busy street noises complete with animals and carts and children playing. The 1st and 2nd grade group kept asking me if they could go see what was behind my walls. I told them that it was just the city streets and that there were mostly donkeys and sheep out there. About 5 minutes later a little girl screamed, "BRING OUT THE SHEEPS! BRING OUT THE DONKEYS!". I told her she might see them later. 2 days later during a drama about hiring new fishermen the same girl screamed again, "BRING OUT THE DONKEYS!"

We used the same drama room all week so by the end of the week it was getting a little messy. As my second group of the day walked in a little girl commented to her crew leader, "She needs to clean her house."

After VBS was over one of the adult leaders told me that when some of the kids were asked to draw their favorite part of the week they drew the stairs (where we made a cave entrance they had to crawl through) and the drama room. Someone was listening!

Vacation Bible School: Viva Jesus!

Tonight is the first night of 5 of our community VBS. Like almost every church we are doing Fiesta: Where Kids are fired up about Jesus! I have been painting sets and what not for the past few weeks and this week I am performing skits about the theme of the day. The theme for today is Jesus is our friend (Viva!). "Viva!" is what the kids are supposed to yell while making a V shape with their arms every time anyone says Jesus is our ______!
The skits are pretty funny but some have a more serious note which in the past has scared the pre-k to K group. I'm sure like last year there will be some funny stories. If anything awesome or hilarious happens I will blog it. Wish me luck!

Summer begins

So I feel like this could be another summer where weekends don't matter anymore. Days slip by filled with little more than sleeping, something creative every once and awhile, and a menial task or two. When the weekend comes it is just another day, nothing significant to mark it as different from the weekdays except a name.
If I had a job it might seem different. It's not that I want a job necessarily and I don't need one. However, it would be nice to feel like I'm accomplishing something everyday, something that helps others. I do accomplish things now, just things that interest me or benefit me.
What I really want to do with my summer is simple. It's not a specific job, more of a list of goals:

• Positively impact those around me by ministering to them in some way.
• Grow as an individual through serving.
• Learn about God as a result of working with and serving others.

I don't even care about pay that much. I'd volunteer if I knew I was needed. Ah, summer.

The 48: Update

Here is the update on the 48 hours of prayer that I promised.
I would like to start off this post by saying WOW! God is AMAZING!!! This shall set the tone for the rest of my post.
Prayer started Tuesday night at 8pm. We did last minute set up a few hours prior and worked out some last minute kinks. We were able to use Heritage Hall in Cooper (the coolest, oldest building on campus), which is the original Chapel. The prayer room felt cozy right away, complete with an art center for drawing praise,prayer, and scripture, poster board to write prayers and poster board to write praises, post-its to write thoughts about whatever(some really profound and personal stuff usually) to stick to tables, windows, and walls, and plenty of sprawl space.
The model of combined prayer and worship worked well. It helped sets flow, people engage in worship and prayer, and took the stress off of just praying on the mic or worship leading for an hour.
Many hearts were changed, awakened, and healed, evident in the remnants of prayers and the praise reports left around the room.
My favorite praise reports were:
" I met Jesus! I met Jesus!" and "God has healed me of my eating disorder."
My favorite post-it was:
"I don't want to leave this place. It's the only place my heart is at peace."

As we came to Thursday Jen (my R.D. and the one who found out about campus transformation) and I were both hearing sentiments of people wanting the prayer to never stop. Many who came loved that there was a place devoted to pray night and day, and that it was a safe place to grow in their relationship with God.
Prayer was supposed to be over at 8pm that night. We even had a group come in to play for us. IT HAS NOT STOPPED!!!
As we came to a 'close' last night each of us felt that God wanted to make 24-7 prayer permanent on campus. We're not sure where it will continue, how we will pay for it, and if we have enough people, but we are hoping in and praying to God. If He wants it to happen it will. The campus has changed so much already. There is unity where there once was division. The had been healing in broken relationships. People are taking notice of a faith that is not forced, but powered by willingness and love of prayer.
It still seems so surreal to me. God is AMAZING!!!!

What is also exciting is what is happening when people leave the prayer room. My good friend Paul Son, a senior who is from Korea, was up praying all night and felt that God wanted him to preach to the campus. Paul was unsure because he doesn't like to be boastful or to offend people. He felt like God wanted him to preach Friday in the Cafeteria at lunch. Paul was hesitant,but mostly confused about why God would use him. God started to reveal to Paul how He feels about people on campus and why He sent Jesus to the cross. This is a short paraphrase of what Paul said,

"I asked God, "But Lord, you loved your son so much. Why did you let him suffer? Why didn't you stop it?!" And God responded to me, "For you. For you."

Paul was faithful and stood up in the middle of caf at lunch today (with many prayer warriors praying for him), Bible in hand, and relayed the things God had put on his heart; that God so wanted these people, his sons and daughters, to be with Him that he sent his son. The whole caf was silent and motionless as Paul spoke and wept in front of them. After he spoke he asked those who wanted to take a stand for Christ, to claim Him as their God. In one swift moment everyone in earshot stood up and bowed their heads. Paul prayed and many more gathered around him. "Amen", Paul prayed, and everyone sat back down, wiped their tears, and finished their lunch. It was so surreal. It's probably one of the most powerful things I've ever seen in my life. I feel as if I have witnessed a miracle.

Please keep praying for our campus as we continue in day and night prayer. Pray for us who are organizing it that we may follow God's lead as He established 24-7 prayer in His way and His time on campus. Pray for strength, energy, and healing. At the 'end' of prayer last night we found that our cry was mostly for more. Please join us in asking God for more of His presence, provision, blessing, healing, Spirit, and love on campus!
Thank you!!!

And so it begins...The 48

48 hour prayer starts tonight at 8pm!!! I'm very excited to see what God will do.
The planning is complete.
The reminder e-mails have been set.
The worship and prayer sets are filled.
The set up in the room will be done later today.
Now all we need is people and the Holy Spirit!!!

I'm worship leading tonight from 9-10pm. I think it will go really well. I'm sure I'll get a little nervous, but that leaves more room for God to do things and not me.
I probably won't write anything until Friday, but expect a full report.

Yay!!!

The 48

Here's some actual good news from our campus: 24/7 prayer is coming to town!
We've signed up for 48 hours with campus transformation , a ministry that is trying to cover the whole spring semester in 24/7 prayer. So far 50 different schools have signed up for slots. For the past 2 weeks myself and a small group of others, initiated by my Resident Director, have been, meeting, planning, training, and praying. We've divided up the 48 hours into 1 hour slots and want to have a worship leader and prayer leader in those slots. Our sign up sheet is almost full! It's amazing to see this come to fruition!
I mostly excited to see what will happen on our campus! I feel like God wants to initiate a lot of change in peoples hearts and make us aware of His plans for our nation. My prayer is that God will impact our hearts so that we may go and impact others, increased intimacy with God, that hunger to be in relationship with God would be increased, that those who don't know Christ or don't know him well would see him as he really is, and for unity among the whole campus; students, faculty and staff, and the community.
Please pray for God to break in on Sterling College! He loves prayer!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (it's a song, trust me)

I'm going to assume that you read the title of this post and became intrigued. "What does she mean by ch-ch-ch-changes? Is is just a song that she's writing about (written by David Bowie, by the way) or is she talking about how ice changes to water which changes to ice?", you might ask yourself.

No, you are wrong both times (though I do like the song a lot). I am talking about changes in my life I'm sure that was your next guess. I guess it's not some much that things are changing, like something happening in college or at home, but that my thoughts and feelings about different things are changing. I suppose you could call it a freshman freak-out of sorts.

Last semester I started wondering about what I really wanted to do with my life and how that would effect my education. I am currently an Art education major but am really sure I don't want to do that. Besides being a buttload of hours, most of which aren't even art classes (which makes me really mad. How am I supposed to be a good art teacher if I never got to go above any level 1 art classes because of my Ed. classes? That is not what leads to proficiency in a content area.) I don't know if I would rather do Christian Ministries. That is, in a sense, what I want to do. I know that I would like to keep art as a major. I've reached a point of being frustrated at the education system and society for emphasizing certain systems over others.

I love my school. It is the only college that I would ever go to for undergrad. I love the people, the programs, and the atmosphere.

I am at a crossroads.
I could very easily do something that looks risky or stupid.
However, I know what I am supposed to do, just not when.
The problem is my practicality and my courage or lack-there-of.
Things could get very interesting very soon.
If you don't have any idea about what I'm talking about don't worry, all will be revealed in due time. I'm sure right now you are about as confused as I am. Sorry about that. I needed to vent.

"So do not worry..." Matthew 6:25,31
"But see first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33 (NIV)