Hello again!

Hey all! As you may have guessed, I'm married now! Nate and I have already been in our new apartment for a week (still settling in).

The honeymoon was great! We went to Victoria, British Columbia. The weather was perfect, we ate delicious food, and hit local attractions and oddities.

We are getting ready to leave for Thailand in a few weeks and then China (officially!) in August.

In honor of all the changes happening in our lives, Nate and I have started a new blog together.

Visit us at http://twopieceband.blogspot.com

I haven't decided if I will keep posting on this blog or not. I will let you know.

Big Stuff

When I thought about graduating the thought of what else would be going on in my life never really occurred to me. I knew I'd be moving out on my own, looking for jobs, and that kind of thing. I never thought this much would be going on! It seems like the reality of what is about to happen just started really sinking in last weekend. Now, however, it feels a little surreal. Here is what is happening in my life right now:
Graduation-10 days
Wedding-38 days
Thailand Trip-8.5 weeks

A bit of exciting news! Nate and I have found jobs teaching overseas in Asia! Living overseas is never something we thought we'd be able to do for awhile, let alone right out of college. However, God is so amazingly good and has opened up a wonderful opportunity for us! Things are still not completely official, but it looks like we will go unless something crazy happens. If you would like to know more, please contact me personally. It's not top-secret or anything, I'm just trying to be careful with something that feels a delicate right now. And to think I worried so much!

More wedding information

Go here
Our Wedding website
There will also be a permanent link at the bottom of the page.

Let Every Heart

I am counting down the days to Graduation and my wedding. Everyone says and knows that this semester is going to go fast and yet we are still surprised that, in fact, it is. This is a interesting time in my life, a strange and significant time where their is a natural tension between making decisions and waiting.

This last week in my alone time and time with God, this theme that had been recurring in my mind was finally made clear. For some time this theme was just lingering there, kind of like background music. This theme is "Prepare Him Room".

I know it is not longer advent season, but somehow the words "Let every heart prepare him room" seem to resonate with me. I guess I'm in some sort of advent season. It's a time of waiting that is not empty or static, but is filled with hope and is preparatory. I know that somehow there is a change coming in my relationship with God. I feel that the answer to my often frenzied schedule and desire to somehow be less busy (a.k.a in charge) is going to be answered. I know it may look different than I expect, but I know that advent means that Christ is coming.

After long years of praying, serving, leading, and letting those things run me down instead of filling me up, I desire to be closer to God and I know I need it. I really want Christ to be the center of my life. I have let other things grab my attention and keep it. I have taken on responsibilities that may be good but not the best fit for me. I have let my own pride and zeal, along with things I really do enjoy, call the shots of what I am involved in.

So here I am. Tired. Ready to move on. Needing some time to reflect and be restored. And I feel called to "prepare him room". I don't know exactly what that will look like. I guess I'll be trying to listen to God and act boldly as I hash that out with Him. But I'm also really encouraged. God will bring me to that most necessary place of rest, 'shalom', and restored relationship with Him.

Summer Plans

Hey guys,
My posts have been so exciting lately! Well, the posts may not be exciting, but the events that lead to the writing of the post are exciting.

First bit of news: Nate and I have set the date for our wedding: May 24th @ 5:00pm. We should send out some save-the-dates soon. We are getting married at Tanganyika Wildlife Park in Goddard (just southwest of Wichita). It is a really great place and we are excited to celebrate with family and friends there. Plus, we will have a lemur at the wedding! We are also planning on having a California Reception at some point for those that won't be able to make it out to Kansas for the wedding.

Second bit of news: Nate and I are going to Thailand!!! We are going with our school and are assistant team leaders for one of our friends and staff members at Sterling. We are going early/mid-July. We are not sure what exactly we will be doing over there. We have a couple of options: teaching English, doing teaching/evangelism in the northern rural areas, or working with girls in aftercare homes (sex-trafficking victims). We are both really exciting about this trip. As most of you who read my blog (family members) know, my cousins have been missionaries in Thailand for almost 9 years now. It has been a place that I have heard about as long as they have been there and I had always hoped to visit. The only sad thing is that they will probably be home on furlough while we are in Thailand! There will be more information about this coming out as well.

Other than those plans, Nate and I are just waiting on God for open doors and opportunities. That includes jobs and housing and the like. Pray for us!

I'm engaged!!!

Hey everybody, guess what? I'm engaged! Really! God is so good. I am amazed at God's faithfulness and kindness in our relationship and in how he has brought us together and lead us.
I know that some of you have heard already but may not have heard the story. I will now tell it to you with the help of a photo montage.
Sunday night, the 21st, Jean, one of my best friends and former roommate, asked me if I would come pray with her after chapel. She told me she had borrowed the key from our Campus Pastor for Heritage hall, the original chapel and a room frequently used for prayer meetings. I agreed. Jean and I have been long time prayer partners and it seemed normal. So I went up to heritage hall at 10:00pm, the time Jean said she would be up there. I arrived and on the front of the door was a note with my name on it. I opened it up and it said "Go to 4th floor". My heart started pounding! I returned to the staircase and as I climbed there were notes on the steps that said things like, "Keep going!", "Almost there," "A little farther". The door at the top of the stairs said "Open me." I went in and there was another sign with an arrow pointing to The Gathering Place (our super cool guest suite and meeting place. It has the most comfortable furniture on campus!). I went in and one of my favorite chairs was facing the t.v. The chair had a sign instructing me to sit there and the dvd player had a note that said "push play". I sat down and pushed play. The song "Praise you" by fatboy slim started playing. Nate had made a slide show of pictures chronicling our whole relationship along with slides narrating the whole thing. At the very end of the video, as the music died out, the words on the screen read, "And now all I'm wondering is what she will say..."
Then he came out from the hallway where he was hiding. He came to my side, got down on one knee, and asked if I wanted to get married...to him! I had already been crying, but now I was weeping! I said "YES!" through my tears and laughter.
I asked him how he did everything and if Jean helped him make all the signs. He said he had a lot of help and then got up and turned on the light. Suddenly, our closest friends burst through the door leading to the fire escape. They all came in with those party blower things. We hugged and laughed and cried. They had made some special brownies (see below), mostly for my amusement. We then had a tiny engagement party!
Ok, so I'll label the pictures a little bit, but I think you can figure it our for the most part.

Cayla, David, and Jean waiting on the fire escape.



zRight after they came in. I'm still crying. Nate is excited!
Our friend Molly coming to congratulate us!

Reading the card our friends wrote for us.


The fun brownies.



Molly and Jean decided to celebrate by wearing the Ugly Sweaters we made together this summer.
Whitney and Melissa!

Thanks friends!

Here is the question to the first question we are typically asked now: May 23rd, 2009. At least within a few days of that date. That is our tentative dates, it depends on our venue(s).

YES!

Do you ever read something and you feel like your heart leaps up and shouts, "Yes!"? Well, this hit me that way:

God loved you before you were born, and God will love you after you die. In Scripture God says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." This is a very fundamental truth of your identity. This is who you are whether you feel it or not. You belong to God from eternity to eternity. Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say, "I love you, too."

If you dare to believe that you are beloved before you are born, you may suddenly realize that your life is very, very special. You become conscious that you were sent here just for a short time, for twenty, forty, or eighty years, to discover and believe that you are a beloved child of God. The length of time does not matter. You are sent into this world to believe in yourself as God's chose one and then to help your brothers and sisters know that they also are beloved sons and daughters of God who belong together. You're sent into this world to be a people of reconciliation. You are sent to heal, to break down the walls between you and your neighbors, locally, nationally, and globally. Before all the distinctions, the separations, and the walls built on foundations of fear, there was unity in the mind and heart of God. Out of that unity, you are sent into this world for a little while to claim that you and every other human being belongs to that same God of Love who lives from eternity to eternity.

Henri Nouwen. Finding my Way Home:Pathways to Life and the Spirit. pg 129-130. Crossroad Publishing Company.

Vulnerable

The other day I was thinking about vulnerability and what that really means, particularly in the life of a Christian.
I realized that it is those who we love and trust the most that have the greatest capacity to hurt us. Why? Because we have opened ourselves up to them: to be loved, rejected, surprised, disappointed, affirmed, encouraged or ignored.
I am not talking about abusive relationship by any means. I am talking about human relationships: parent-child, husband-wife, friend to friend.


Love makes us vulnerable. God-fueled love enables us to remain vulnerable without being victimized or becoming vengeful.

"For God so loved the world" - God truly made Himself vulnerable beyond our capacity of understanding by giving us His Son. Though Jesus was rejected, betrayed, slandered, hated, conspired against, and killed, He remains open, available, and vulnerable to us.

Jesus, who has so completely given of Himself and loved so passionately, has not only paved the way for us to experience His love, but to experience the love of the Father.

No matter what we've done, where we feel we've failed Him, how we've hurt others, God has shown us love and given us mercy if we ask for His forgiveness.



Tidbit of note: the word vulnerable came from a Latin word meaning 'to wound' or 'wounding'

Quick Update

School has been over for a week now!!!- Nate came home and we hung out at my house waiting for Saturday (see below). We practiced music, watched episodes of the TV show Arrested Development, cooked dinner, saw friends, made some fabulous watercolor creations, played softball, went for a bike ride, and played games with my parents.



Wedding!!!- Some of our best friends from school got married this weekend! Congrats to David and Whitney!!! We were honored as they chose us to lead worship and play some other music at their wedding. We had a great time! It was a beautiful wedding and was a lot of fun too!
Did I mention that I caught the bouquet and Nate caught the garter? We did. I don't have pictures of that, but Nate does, so I'll post them sometime.



















So now I'm at home. I've got a pretty good to-do list:
Un-pack from school
Throw away stuff I don't need (preparing to move in a month)
Start packing

I'm smitten...well, more than that actually

I've been dating a wonderful, funny, talented man who loves Jesus (!!!) for almost 10 months now and yet some of you don't know anything about him because I don't write about him that much.

Well, I think it's time that I write about our relationship. I've held back in the past for several reasons:

No one wants to hear mushy relationship stuff all the time.

I'm not one of those people who stake their whole personality and life off of another person and wouldn't want to worry anyone.

I'm busy.

With that being said, here I go... complete with timeline appropriate photos.

First, here's some basic info about Nate:

He's a junior theatre major/ religion and philosophy minor who recently discovered his natural ability to interpret Greek and his love of Biblical studies. He's been a camp counselor tons! He's from Norco, CA. He plays drums and guitar. He's tall. He's awkward like me!

Nate and Sam: The Abridged Version

Nate and I had been close friends for two years before we started dating. We dated very briefly freshmen year (about 2 weeks) before I decided that the constant nauseous feeling I had was because I didn't have peace about being in this relationship. We broke up and I said, "I still want to be friends." Which was TRUE. I knew that though I couldn't be in a relationship with him that I had found a really great friend.

After about 2 days of post-break up awkwardness we couldn't handle it and forged ahead in our friendship.

From that point onward we had lots and lots of DTR's (the Sterling term for 'define the relationship'--this means going for a walk or sitting on park benches and talking about where each person is at and how they feel about the other person). Mostly they were caused by Nate really wanting to date me, me liking Nate but not liking Nate, me not wanting to be in a relationship, Nate respecting that, us remaining at our 'just friend' status. The DTR's varied between being hard, annoying, stressful, hilarious, and great.

God used that year and a half or so to draw us closer to Him and mature us. We also grew in our friendship.

In that time we:

Made up lots of inside jokes

Went on Choir tours together (see left: Nate and David-my two favorite guys. Enacting a scene from Baywatch in CA)

Won a swing dance competition

Played in praise band together

Had late night talks in the union

Hung out with my family

Hung out with our friends.

And just had fun!

And the best part is that the core of our relationship is our friendship. This past June we decided to date(there are so many different terms people use-courtship, dating, etc. I think the best way to explain it is that from the start we took our relationship seriously. We felt strongly that it could head towards marriage but still wanted to enjoy 'dating' and getting to know each other even more.) It was amazing to see how God prepared us to be in a deeper relationship with one another.

Nate is a huge blessing in my life. He is a confidant, someone who understands and shares my random sense of humor, and a wild man; he strives to be who God made him to be and won't be tamed by others.

Nate is also a great spiritual leader. He reminds me of the truth when I need to hear it. He prays for me and with me when I am discouraged. He constantly reminds me with his words and actions of God's love and mercy. I'm excited for whatever God has for us! As the famous line from the 80's said it, "The future is so bright, I've got to wear shades."

Here are some more pictures of us:

Back to School

In 9 days I will return to school for leadership training and orientation planning. It's amazing that the summer is already coming to a close. My summer was not at all what I had expected. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to The Call. I thought I would have more time up at the IHOP. I thought I would have more free time. I didn't plan on going to California. I didn't think I would ever be a camp counselor (more to come on that).

Though it wasn't necessarily what was expected it was a really wonderful summer. God taught me a lot about leadership, service, relationships, perseverance, and youth ministry. I know that even the smallest experiences I've had this summer God will use to teach me or help me during the school year.

Next year is going to be so different. I can feel it. I'm going to be an upper class men. The campus will be different (due to the natural ebb and flow of new students and friends who have graduated). I'm in more prominent positions of leadership. I am leading one praise band this year (there are two) and am President over our Praise Band organization. I'm head student chaplain. Part of my job as student chaplain is being a member of the Student Government's executive cabinet which means meetings, helping christian organizations on campus, helping with Wednesday and Sunday chapel services, assessing the spiritual needs of the campus and finding ways to provide for those needs. The other part includes providing leadership, underneath our two campus pastors, for the student chaplain team, leading Bible studies, and whatever else might come up. I'm really excited for this opportunity and desire to honor and follow God's leadership, knowing His heart for this campus.



Aside from titled roles this year will be different as I have two years left and myself and my peers are starting to think about the future. Suddenly the idea of independence and adulthood take on new meanings as they become much more than just moving away from home and going to school. We've got a lot to learn. Also, my best friend of two years, a wonderful and godly man, is now my boyfriend. It will be a fun challenge learning to balance our relationship with all of our responsibilities (he is also a chaplain this year among other things) and honor God with our relationship.

Above all, all these unknowns and unexpected have helped me learn to trust God's perfect leadership. I'm excited to see how and where He will bring me to the "what's" this year.

Unexpected Traveling

I am coming to California in two days! That is pretty crazy! Though I am excited to come I wish it were under better circumstances.
My best friend of two years, recently turned boyfriend, Nate is from Norco. His grandmother died yesterday from colon cancer. It happened really fast. A few weeks ago she started feeling bad, last week they diagnosed it as cancer, and Sunday they gave her a few days to live. Nate was incredibly close to his grandmother and is really missing her. From all the stories I've heard she was an incredible lady and I am sad that I did not get to meet her. Nate is currently finishing his last week camp counseling at Westminster Woods. This will be the first time he has been home since Spring Break. I am heading out with him Saturday to the funeral and will hang around a few days.
It will be interesting because I get to meet all of his family (it's own unique circumstance) but they are also in the middle of grieving. I do know his parents and sister already so I won't be completely lost. I'm expecting the unexpected. I hope that while I'm there I can help with some of the little things of daily life. In times like these there is so much going on that things fall to the wayside. I hope I can ease their burdens a little and get to know them a little better in the process as well. Pray for us as we travel and for Nate's family as they gather and celebrate a life.

He wasn't kidding about being Jealous

"Put me like a seal over your heart,

Like a seal on your arm

For love is as strong as death,

Jealousy is as severe as Sheol

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

The very flame of the LORD.

"Many waters cannot quench love,

Nor will rivers overflow it;

If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love,

It would be utterly despised."

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (NASB)

This verse is one that I have been meditating on recently. This comes from the book Song of Solomon or Song of Songs (your preference). It's a book you don't often hear about in church. There are typically two views about this book- 1.) This is a book about the intimacy and beauty in a marriage. This is to be taken more literally.

2.) This book is an allegory about Christ's love for the Church. Everything in the book stands for something else. It can be taken metaphorically as a believer's walk into deeper intimacy with God.

I think that it's a combo of two. Since God designed earthly marriage to be like the relationship between Christ and the Church (see here) I think that we can look at this book literally but also see past what is obvious and see Christ's love for the church. That being said (wow, really long intro) these are my thoughts on this verse.

First off, it becomes obvious that this love is not romantic-movie-love or fairy-tale love. This is not an average love. This love is like a flame, like the very flame of God. Water's cannot extinguish it. It isn't something that we can control. When it becomes inconvenient or hard we can't merely 'throw water on it', or even throw it into a river, and expect it to go out.

This love doesn't behave in ways we understand or like in our humanity.

It is stronger than death- it last forever and love really has the final word.

It is jealous as Sheol (the grave)- this love won't let us run to other lovers.

This love won't wash away when we feel it is getting too hot.

This love isn't impressed or controlled by our wealth.

Like it says in verse 7 "...If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love it would be utterly despised." It's not something you can buy and own as long as you want. One can never own (or control) love with wealth. Love, however, often call us to give up those things we can buy or 'earn' with our money. It's almost mocking the temporariness of money.

Because love is this way, especially God's love, something like this "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (see verses here), three separate times. Because this love is so serious it shouldn't been awakened until the proper time.

This definitely applies to human relationships. It's never good to rush into relationships or marriage before the proper time. (If you want advice on when that is or how you know go find some mature married people).

I also think this applies to our relationship with God. God is the author and perfecter of our faith, not us. He knows at what pace to set us at and where we need to go. He knows what we can handle. That doesn't mean that we don't have our share of responsibility. It's ok to trust God with the process. He's been doing it for a long time.

It especially makes me think of new believers. It's easy to want to teach them everything right away and want them to understand. But it is better to trust God to 'awaken love' and bring them closer to Himself how and when he wants.

Just some thoughts. Not exactly fully formed or anything.

Myers-Briggs anyone?

So I randomly found this online quiz the other day. It's a shortened version of the classic Myers-Briggs test. Sometimes it's interesting what these kind of things end up saying about 'you'. Sometimes they are very vague or general so anyone could fit into the description. I was surprised at how well this test described me.
I am an INFJ (introverted-intuitive-feeler-judger). Go check it out and then report you findings in the comment section.
Here are some of the things that seemed right on the money:

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership.

INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals.

More on time management

Again, I am linking this post from Shawn Blanc's website www.thefightspot.com .
Read this if you are interested in finding a healthy balance managing you life in God, school, work, family, and friends, and all the rest.

3.5 Steps to Re-Asses Your Schedule.

Conversations with Strangers

It's probably just my personality type or something similar that makes it seem awkward to me to talk to people I don't know. The "Thanks" or "Have a good day" to a cashier is usually where I draw the line. Like most things I've tried to avoid, my sister did it first. When we were younger Ang would talk to strangers everywhere. It wasn't ever the "Don't talk to strangers" scenarios parents usually warn their children about, Ang would always initiate the conversations. I was never brave enough, my younger years being the ones consumed with shyness around strangers, to talk to strangers, let alone strange adults.

Recently I've had more experiences that have changed my view on conversations with strangers. Just like going to see a therapist whom you barely know to confess/rant/share your deepest pains and secrets, conversations with strangers can be an opportunity to release burdens or say how you really feel without worrying about ever seeing that person again. It can be a huge blessing.

Example: A month ago my Mom and I were furniture shopping. The saleswoman that was helping us was very sweet and mentioned that she also took care of her mother, who has alzhiemers. She and my Mom got to talking about their shared experiences with taking care of elderly parents and not having very much sibling support. The woman got to talk to someone who really understood what she was going through. The conversation lasted about 30 minutes and the Saleswoman was blessed.

Conversations with strangers can also lead to learning experiences and be encouraging. Whether it's finding a shared interest of experience just knowing that there is someone else out there who cares about similar things you do.

Example: Earlier this week I was standing in line to check-out at Old Navy. A woman was behind me in line with the most adorable baby clothes in hand. I was debating complimenting her taste when she said, "They should really open up another lane. It isn't exactly a come and go store though." I complimented the outfit she had picked out and explained that I loved to shop here for my nephew. She then said that she was buying it for a friend who had recently adopted a baby girl from China and that she and her husband adopted two children from China starting a few years ago. I shared with her that my sister and I were both adopted and we talked about both of our experiences with adoption. We discussed the need of having more people willing to adopt, even if it is just one child and they have biological children as well. She had done mission work in an orphanage in China full of children who were abandoned due to 'defects' great and small, from birthmarks to down syndrome. She shared that most of the children in the orphanage had never even been picked up. We fit all this in to a 6 minute conversation. As we were both checking out we agreed that this was a God initiated meeting. We both left encouraged and inspired.

I was inspired because I love to meet people that are adopting! I have a chance to share my experiences as a adoptee and encourage them as well as seeing my prayers answered for more people to consider adoption.

I heart my guy friends

I'm not exactly sure what prompted this post. Partly it's the fact that I haven't done an "I heart ______" post in a while and partly because though I haven't seen my guy friends lately I really do appreciate them. So here is my post of gratitude and recognition of my guy friends.

There is a time fore everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Consequently there is a time when I get tired of hanging out with girls. Sometimes I've just had an overload of females and all that comes with them. Usually when I do get tired of them it is because they have moved from normal to crazy in every aspect of being female. It is at this point that I say "Anyway..." , politely bow, and walk (which turns into a run when I'm no longer in sight) away. Then I turn to the refuge of femaled-out people.

Males. Males are typically and hopefully opposite in behavior, priorities, and discussion topics than females. Instead of talking about feelings they would rather watch a movie or bowl; really anything that inhibits conversation. They don't often get involved in drama, although there are rare occurrences of it, and will end up treating me like one of the guys (mostly because they don't know what to do with me). Yes, this is just what I need when girls annoy me. After a 'season' of a few weeks I will be thoroughly unimpressed with the way guys talk, treat each other, and live and will return to my herd. After being starved out of talking about feelings I will return to those who talk about feelings and philosophize about life regularly. Females.

In one year this rotation happens a few times. Thankfully I have some great guy friends to turn to and well...hang out with. They help me maintain my sanity as well as allowing me to get rid of frustration without costing friendships, male or female.

Guy friends, I salute you!
Cue the montage!
Ok, so the picture uploader is being weird. More montage later!

Life, death, and the clean-up afterwards

My Grandma had very specific request regarding her death, some of which were a bit troublesome. She didn't want to be embalmed and thus had to be buried within 24 hours. Keep in mind that this was Memorial Day weekend and that 3 of her 4 children lived in California. Somehow it all worked out. All of her children made it to the burial. The children were joined that evening or the next day by their spouses. Wednesday we had the memorial. A lot of people showed up, not unexpected considering our family is pretty big and that Grandma helped a lot of people. We had a short service filled with a sermon by a long-time friend of Grandma, her favorite hymns, and tributes from family and friends.
Imbetween services the family was working at Grandma's apartment going through photo albums, old letters, files, clothing, jewelry, and anything else you can think of. Despite the sudden loss of a mother, grandmother, or mother-in-law the family seemed to be coping well. We aren't often all together, and though we wish it could've been under different circumstances, we enjoyed being together immensely.
The thing to remember is that mourning lasts more than the time before and during a funeral. I think it will be a long process once we allow our emotions to catch up to us.
Thank you for all of your prayers and support.

Justice and Injustice in Everyday Life

When we think about justice and injustice in our lives what exactly do we think about? Do we think about the war in Iraq, genocide in Sudan, children starving in third world countries, and other Oprah-worthy acts of social injustice. How do we or should we define justice and injustice?
A few weeks ago in Wednesday Chapel James Cole, the assistant Chaplain, gave his definitions.
First, he defined power. Though power is often attributed to money or position he defined power as influence.
Injustice: the use of power to oppress others.
Justice: the use of power to liberate others.

He further defined oppression as dehumanizing someone and liberation as humanizing someone. This leads to his complete definition of the terms being:

Injustice : The use of power (influence) to oppress (dehumanize) others.
Justice: The use of poor (influence) to liberate (humanize) others.

James continued to say that injustice is not just something that we see on the news but something that we experience in our everyday lives, mostly in relationships with others.

In our relationships with others, whether it be with parents, friends, significant others, or people we lead, we have the opportunity to use our power (influence) justly or unjustly. There are ways in which we act unjustly (dehumanize) : lying, manipulating, gossiping, etc.
And opportunities to act justly (liberate): telling the truth even when it's painful, being supportive, breaking up when in an unhealthy dating relationship, etc.

We have the chance to free people from chains, perhaps even chains we've put them in. No longer is injustice only seen in poor foreign countries, it's in poor western relationships.

It's time to be liberators and not oppressors.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Jesus. Luke 4:18-19 (also check out Isaiah 61:1-3)

Everybody put your hands together for the weekend!!!

Oh man. This has been one crazy, frustrating, and craptastic week. It wasn't all bad, just mostly.
Here's the big deal: I broke up with Nate on Wednesday. It wasn't easy. In fact it sucked and was more uncomfortable and horrible than I could even write. It needed to be done, though. I do feel like this was the best option and stand firm in my decision. All though I do feel bad for hurting him I know from my side of things it would be unfair to continue dating him. I don't want to go into the whole explanation and thus will try to sum it up in a few key phrases.

1. We make a good couple, but better friends.
2. I've got my own things to figure out before I drag another person into it.
3. If it continued any longer there would be greater pain and awkwardness on both parts.

The hardest part now is retaining our friendship. We are still in the very awkward post-breakup phase were you don't want to be around, let alone see, the other person lest it remind you of what was and now isn't. It will get better with time. Either way, I've decided to leave the "break-up photo' in the post about the dance up. I think it provides some good irony. Hopefully that irony will become humorous and not dramatic.

On top of breaking up I've got three group projects on my plate. It's not so much that I hate group projects, but I'm so busy right now that its very inconvenient to have to work with other people. I'm the person in the group that schedules and organizes everything too. That's a lot of effort. I'd rather study and take a test. Also next week is production week fo the One Acts. It's bound to get crazy.

Other than that my week has been ok. Less depressing posts to come.