Life in your arms

This break has been really good. Relaxing. Reading. Journaling. Napping. Christmas shopping in a fun and yet efficient way. Seeing old and cherished friends.
Right now I am with my family. It has been great. I love catching up on what has happened and what is happening in people's lives. Things can change so drastically in just a few months. Often times spending time with family and catching up with people starts with getting aquainted with all the changes that have occured. It's a process of remembering who they are, figuring out the balance between who you know them to be and who you see before you, with changes, questions, new opinions, new wisdom. But it's also leaving them space, that amazing freedom, to keep growing and changing.
Right now I am sitting in my sister's house rocking my niece Zoey's chair thing with my foot. When I glance over we catch eyes. She smiles and coos at me. I love being able to carry her around and letting her fall asleep in my arms. It's amazing that I can hold this life in my arms. I can rock her and swing her. And it amazes me to think that I will see her grow up, from toddler-hood to mother-hood. And now, for this fleeting and thus precious, moment I can still hold her in my arms.
I think babies do this to people. They make them pause and wonder and marvel at life in their arms, and thier own lives flying past them too.
(Watch out people, I'm having an advent/christmas moment.)
I think this is part of the reason God loved the idea, the reality, and the implications of sending His son into the world. God enters the world in weak human flesh as Jesus. He's fully God and yet so obviously man. You could hold him, rock him, kiss his cheek, sing him a lullaby. And all the while you know, well...Mary, Joseph, and a handful of others knew or recognized, that they were holding Life in their arms. And later in His life you could eat a meal with him, you could put your arm around him and feel him sweat. And then he would go and raise the dead or heal the lame and blind, or calm the storm, and you knew he was God. Life right there with you, Life was your friend.
I'm so thankful for those chances that come along. Those chances to know that something marvelous and significant and once-in-a-lifetime is happeinging. The word in greek I think that fits so well here is Kairos. Kairos means-the perfect time, the fullness of time or as one of my professors has said, "that moment when earth's time and purpose intersects with God's time and purpose", it's when you feel that something holy, precious, and wonderful has happened.
I'm so glad that God has given me so many chances to slow down and recognize those Kairos moments, whether I'm holding Zoey or talking for hours on end with an old friend. I'm so thankful that God loves to interupt our lives, schedules, and thoughts just in time.

More funnies

Godzilla and Mothra-An Average Weekend

"What do you want to do this weekend?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"DESTROY THE CITY!!!"

For your viewing pleasure

Since I don't have much time to update these days (this is my last week of classes before finals) I've decided to post some cartoons I drew this summer. They are really random snapshots of how I often imagine things. That being said, you might think they don't make sense. No offense taken. I hope you enjoy them though!

This is called "Bear Attack"

"Once, twice, three times a she-bear"

"This guy had a lot of problems. Until tonight bear attacks wasn't one of them."

Nancy Kerrigan Halloween

More cartoons to come later

Is it Thanksgiving break yet?

I could really use a break.
Last weekend our small singing group, Highland Singers, went on a 4 day tour around eastern KS, mostly the Kansas City area. It was a great time and the best music tour experience I've had thus far. We became close as friends and became tight musically. It was a good tour, but we did miss two days of class and didn't have time to do homework. So I've been playing catch up this week. It's really a scramble sometimes.

This weekend I'm heading up to Kansas City again for our semi-annual trip to the International House of Prayer. I'm excited because a big group is going (25) and many have never been before. Also, I'm not in charge! That is a good feeling, especially when there is some sort of snag with the trip planning. I'm not being held responsible. It is also a hard feeling sometimes because I wish I could just take control and straighten it all out, or go back in time and help my friends (including my roommate and my boyfriend and another good friend) plan for all these snags about a month ago. It is times like this when I realize how much of a greedy power-monger I am. God is teaching me a lot about that. I'm excited for a slight break at one of my favorite places! I'm anticipating the work that God is going to do in these students lives. Some amazing things came out of our past trips.

That is all the updates you get for now.

I guess it is good that my degree is in youth ministry

St. Bernard of Clarivaux

Was an interesting cat. Right now (literally. I am 'taking a break' from my paper) I am writing a paper about his theological contributions. Here are a few quotes from him that I found particularly beautiful or interesting:

"I ask no further pledge of righteousness if he is one my side whom alone I have offended. If he decrees that a sin is not to be imputed to me, it is as if it never existed."

"You will not pray aright, if in your prayrs you seek anything but the Word, or seek him for the sake of anything but the Word; for in him are all things. In him is healing for your wounds, help in your need, resotration for your faults, resources for your further growth; in him is all that men should ask or desire, all they need, all that will profit them. There is no reason therefore to ask anything else of the Word, for he is all."

"Although the creature loves less, being a lesser being, yet if it loves with its whole heart nothing is lacking, for it has given all."

Hungry for adventure

I don't know what precisely is going on in my heart. It is a random, itching, "somethings about to happen", kind of feeling that rises up in me. The feeling is a hunger for adventure--to do soemthing meaningful, daring, maybe a little weird or stupid looking--for God. The condundrum is "What is God trying to tell me or show me? Where or to what is God leading me?".

I feel the need for a pilgramage. Getting out there--seeing a little bit of the world before the demands of adulthood come down on me--allowing God to take me way out of my comfort zone.

So far this pilgramage has been spiritual. God has been working on my heart intensely, with passion and jealousy for all of my love. Times have been tough, really tough at times. I've cried so much this semester it's nuts. Don't worry, I'm not depressed. It's actually an answer to prayer as I have asked God to soften my heart and to help me allow myself to feel, even when it hurts. I don't want a heart of stone! I've also had amazingly sweet and refreshing times in His presence. God is already taking me on an adventure as He calls me to join Him in what He is doing and where He is going, despite my fears and doubts. I'll have to write more about what God is doing in my heart. Remind me!

But, at the same time, I feel this stirring to go somewhere! I don't know where. I am still praying about it and seeing what God wants to do with my summer.
I don't know what it is. I think partly it's a desire for something different, partly a desire to be radically in love with God, and partly to be more independent and get away to something foreign to everyday life.

I just want this summer to be different. Every summer I end up feeling like my time could've been used better. Since I've gone to school my friends in town have all moved away and I feel isolated from my peers during the summer. I want to spend my time wisely, grow closer to God and be stretched in my faith, and get to know more people my age.

I'm checking out my options and praying about it. We'll see what happens.

Pray for the Middle East

Check out this article from the BBC Turkish MPs back attacks in Iraq.

Much needed rest

I'm headed home this weekend with several goals in mind:

• Get lots and lots and lots of homework done.- I have a feeling that next week, homecoming at Sterling, will be crazy. School doesn't stop during this week, but craziness grows exponentially as time to do things becomes more and more limited. And one of my professors chose to have a paper due that Thursday. Hopefully I will be able to work way, way ahead this weekend.
• Me time- I don't get a lot of that right now. Hopefully I will have more time to sleep, read for fun, take baths, play piano for fun, have more time to be with God, and other wonderful self-care type stuff.
• Be away from everyone and everything- That's how I handle stress. I remove myself from the situation or environment. I'm also introverted in a lot of ways so having time to not be around others and enjoy living in my head should be beneficial.
• I'm also reevaluating my current schedule-it turns out I don't have a lot of time for the things and people I love. My challenge is working around fixed times like classes, office hours, meetings, practices, and Bible studies.

This was my #1 fear about parenting...until I read this article

I found this treasure on msn.com

check it out

So it's been a little crazy: School

It has been a really long time since I've posted anything. I'll try and give some recaps of what has been going on--it won't be too in depth because there is so much. I think I'll do this in sections for easy reading

School- School is great, though incredibly busy. For example here is the schedule of my busiest day:
Monday
wake up 7:00am
Class- 8:00-1:00
Office Hours: 1:15-2:15
Free time: 2:15-3:45
SGA Meeting 4:00-5:30ish
Dinner 5:30-6:00
Get ready for meeting 6:00-6:30
Senate Meeting 6:45-8:30
Homework: 8:45-11:00
Time for people: 11:00-12:00ish
Bed: sometime between 12:00 and 1:00

My classes are going well. I'm taking Greek and am really enjoying it. It is challenging and I feel like this will be really useful in my personal devotions and future educational endeavors (seminary maybe. I don't know). I'm also taking Church History I. It's really amazing to see how different theology emerged in the midst of controversy and heresy. So far the homework isn't too bad, but I need to work ahead on things.

Because I'm so busy it is hard to find time to spend with people. I am slowly building relationships with new students. That is hard because I love being connected with the Sterling community and feel like that the greatest way to impact people is not from my desk in the SGA office (not to downplay the importance of having this position at all!) , but by being in the everydayness of life with people.

My responsibilities as SGA student chaplain are going well. Sometimes there are little tasks like running the projector and powerpoint things during chapel. Right now I'm focusing on forming our 3rd praise band from scratch. It's brand new with brand new people. Also, I am seeking God's guidance on how to best minister to the rest of the SGA Executive Cabinet team. There are very few people on campus who truly understand the sacrifice of time, energy, and personal interests that SGA makes for this campus. I'm mostly focusing on encouraging them, praying for them, and giving them the resources they need to thrive in their personal relationship with God. I am learning a lot! And God is humbling me more than I had anticipated. I'm also preparing to lead a Bible study in my dorm, which will start next week.

So there it is. Life has been a little crazy at School.

Back to School

In 9 days I will return to school for leadership training and orientation planning. It's amazing that the summer is already coming to a close. My summer was not at all what I had expected. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to The Call. I thought I would have more time up at the IHOP. I thought I would have more free time. I didn't plan on going to California. I didn't think I would ever be a camp counselor (more to come on that).

Though it wasn't necessarily what was expected it was a really wonderful summer. God taught me a lot about leadership, service, relationships, perseverance, and youth ministry. I know that even the smallest experiences I've had this summer God will use to teach me or help me during the school year.

Next year is going to be so different. I can feel it. I'm going to be an upper class men. The campus will be different (due to the natural ebb and flow of new students and friends who have graduated). I'm in more prominent positions of leadership. I am leading one praise band this year (there are two) and am President over our Praise Band organization. I'm head student chaplain. Part of my job as student chaplain is being a member of the Student Government's executive cabinet which means meetings, helping christian organizations on campus, helping with Wednesday and Sunday chapel services, assessing the spiritual needs of the campus and finding ways to provide for those needs. The other part includes providing leadership, underneath our two campus pastors, for the student chaplain team, leading Bible studies, and whatever else might come up. I'm really excited for this opportunity and desire to honor and follow God's leadership, knowing His heart for this campus.



Aside from titled roles this year will be different as I have two years left and myself and my peers are starting to think about the future. Suddenly the idea of independence and adulthood take on new meanings as they become much more than just moving away from home and going to school. We've got a lot to learn. Also, my best friend of two years, a wonderful and godly man, is now my boyfriend. It will be a fun challenge learning to balance our relationship with all of our responsibilities (he is also a chaplain this year among other things) and honor God with our relationship.

Above all, all these unknowns and unexpected have helped me learn to trust God's perfect leadership. I'm excited to see how and where He will bring me to the "what's" this year.

Thoughts on The Call...a month later

A month ago I was flying into Nashville to meet two friends from school Cayla and Ben. It's amazing to think of all that took place during that one day and all that has happened since. Looking back it all seems so surreal. I know that The Call was a turning point, not only for me but for the Church and the nation, even though the full impact has yet to be seen. It's difficult to even put into words all that I experienced and all that God did but I will try.
The morning of the 7th we got up early and hopped a taxi with a few others from our hotel. We were meeting with thousands of others for a repentance walk. The walk was a 2.7 mile walk down Church Street from the park to the stadium. The focus of the repentance walk was not to point fingers at sinners on our way but to repent for our own sins and for the sins of the Church. Lou Engle said before the march (paraphrase), "The reason we have no voice in our culture is that we are consumed by the same sins as those outside of the Church."
Thousands of people started the day on their faces weeping, interceding, and repenting.

Then we started to walk. The whole walk was done in complete silence and as we started walking through the grass it sounded like rushing water, which reminded me of the passages in scripture about a "voice like many waters." It was so powerful to be united in repentance and prayer as we walked down Church street. As we got closer to the stadium we could hear the music and the voices singing "Holy, Holy, Holy." We walked into the stadium and moved from repentance to praise.

The Call officially started at 10am with corporate repentance and forgiveness. Leaders from various people groups would ask for forgiveness for the sins that group had committed against other groups. For example, white leaders asked for forgiveness from Native Americans and African Americans for the sins committed against them. Once this happened specific ethnic groups were asked to stand and we prayed for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Typically I am not one to cry or like crying but I couldn't help weeping most of the morning. That morning my tears became my repentance, praise, and intercession.

Throughout the rest of the day we would transition from worship, intercession, confession, personal and group prayer, and short lessons on themes of The Call. I received a huge breakthrough and freedom from past sins. I had waited so long to be free from that sin which hurt me and caused injury to other relationships. That was a huge part of what God did in me during The Call. I left feeling free and new.

God also used The Call to remind me who I am in Him and what I am called to do. It was very encouraging.
Another powerful part of the day was corporate communion. We all took communion together and committed ourselves to the Lord.

Worship was also powerful that day. The expression of 'warring in worship' was definitely the case. Since a-capella with 50,000 people is also something I highly recommend. Most of the time we would be gloriously stuck singing "Holy, Holy, Holy!" for long periods of time. I think that when God brings so many together to consecrate themselves to Him that is the most fitting thing to sing.

Just a week or so ago I received another huge breakthrough of feeling God's presence, enjoying being with God, and receiving revelation on the Word again. It's been months, starting maybe a year ago and really intensifying in February. He was faithful to lead me, teach me, and strengthen me during this time. I feel like the verse "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" Ps 27:13 was so true. There were so many times where my only choice was to cling to the truth of His word that He would reveal Himself again. He is so good!

P.S. I'll probably post some pictures of the event soon.

I'm back

Hey. I just returned from The Call in Nashville! (California was great by the way). It was one of the most beautiful, powerful, life-changing days I've had in my life. I'm still processing everything. I'll have to give a full update once I journal, reflect, and rest up. Until then I leave you with what happened towards the end of the day (There was a repentance walk at 7am, The Call started at 10 and ended at 10=long day)
Watch:

Stop Animation=Cool

If only my middle school flip books were as cool.
Click here

Disclaimer: At one point one of the guys is in his tidy-whities. Nothing too inappropriate. Just a warning.

Unexpected Traveling

I am coming to California in two days! That is pretty crazy! Though I am excited to come I wish it were under better circumstances.
My best friend of two years, recently turned boyfriend, Nate is from Norco. His grandmother died yesterday from colon cancer. It happened really fast. A few weeks ago she started feeling bad, last week they diagnosed it as cancer, and Sunday they gave her a few days to live. Nate was incredibly close to his grandmother and is really missing her. From all the stories I've heard she was an incredible lady and I am sad that I did not get to meet her. Nate is currently finishing his last week camp counseling at Westminster Woods. This will be the first time he has been home since Spring Break. I am heading out with him Saturday to the funeral and will hang around a few days.
It will be interesting because I get to meet all of his family (it's own unique circumstance) but they are also in the middle of grieving. I do know his parents and sister already so I won't be completely lost. I'm expecting the unexpected. I hope that while I'm there I can help with some of the little things of daily life. In times like these there is so much going on that things fall to the wayside. I hope I can ease their burdens a little and get to know them a little better in the process as well. Pray for us as we travel and for Nate's family as they gather and celebrate a life.

Never let your gaurd down....

Even though squirrels are cute, the are vicious (apparently).
Take a peak at this article titled Squirrel goes on rampage .

He wasn't kidding about being Jealous

"Put me like a seal over your heart,

Like a seal on your arm

For love is as strong as death,

Jealousy is as severe as Sheol

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

The very flame of the LORD.

"Many waters cannot quench love,

Nor will rivers overflow it;

If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love,

It would be utterly despised."

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (NASB)

This verse is one that I have been meditating on recently. This comes from the book Song of Solomon or Song of Songs (your preference). It's a book you don't often hear about in church. There are typically two views about this book- 1.) This is a book about the intimacy and beauty in a marriage. This is to be taken more literally.

2.) This book is an allegory about Christ's love for the Church. Everything in the book stands for something else. It can be taken metaphorically as a believer's walk into deeper intimacy with God.

I think that it's a combo of two. Since God designed earthly marriage to be like the relationship between Christ and the Church (see here) I think that we can look at this book literally but also see past what is obvious and see Christ's love for the church. That being said (wow, really long intro) these are my thoughts on this verse.

First off, it becomes obvious that this love is not romantic-movie-love or fairy-tale love. This is not an average love. This love is like a flame, like the very flame of God. Water's cannot extinguish it. It isn't something that we can control. When it becomes inconvenient or hard we can't merely 'throw water on it', or even throw it into a river, and expect it to go out.

This love doesn't behave in ways we understand or like in our humanity.

It is stronger than death- it last forever and love really has the final word.

It is jealous as Sheol (the grave)- this love won't let us run to other lovers.

This love won't wash away when we feel it is getting too hot.

This love isn't impressed or controlled by our wealth.

Like it says in verse 7 "...If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love it would be utterly despised." It's not something you can buy and own as long as you want. One can never own (or control) love with wealth. Love, however, often call us to give up those things we can buy or 'earn' with our money. It's almost mocking the temporariness of money.

Because love is this way, especially God's love, something like this "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (see verses here), three separate times. Because this love is so serious it shouldn't been awakened until the proper time.

This definitely applies to human relationships. It's never good to rush into relationships or marriage before the proper time. (If you want advice on when that is or how you know go find some mature married people).

I also think this applies to our relationship with God. God is the author and perfecter of our faith, not us. He knows at what pace to set us at and where we need to go. He knows what we can handle. That doesn't mean that we don't have our share of responsibility. It's ok to trust God with the process. He's been doing it for a long time.

It especially makes me think of new believers. It's easy to want to teach them everything right away and want them to understand. But it is better to trust God to 'awaken love' and bring them closer to Himself how and when he wants.

Just some thoughts. Not exactly fully formed or anything.

Second verse same as the first

In prep for the call see here .

By the way, the first fast was incredibly successful (in God's eyes). That doesn't mean I didn't mess up sometimes (that's when you push delete and start over). God met me in my hunger. Yay! I pray that He does it again!

Fasting!!!

I am heading to The Call this summer and I am way excited to be partnering with God's heart and interceding for my generation and this nation. Here is some more information about the 40 day fast leading up to The Call. Be sure to check out www.thecall.com for more information. If God lays it on your heart please pray for those who choose to fast, for the grace to fast and press into Jesus, as well as praying for the event itself (they are expecting 100,000 people to come).

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God has graciously raised up Lou Engle to call America to a 40 day fast. Lou has mobilized thousands of leaders who are committed to this vision as well. All the major Christian TV networks are announcing it to get the word out - it is time for America to fast and pray as a nation. The article below, written by Lou, explains the urgency behind this initiative. The IHOP-KC family is standing with The Call and believers during these 40 days. Please forward this to everyone you know who has a heart for America.
www.fastandpray.com



There are moments in history when a door for massive change opens, and great revolutions for good or evil spring up in the vacuum created by these openings. In these divine moments, key men, women and even entire generations risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point that determines which way the door will swing.

The rebellious generation of the ’60s seized its moment, and history crashed into the deep abyss of drug addiction, sexual immorality, hatred for authority and a rejection of the law of God. In 1967, there was a culminating and defining moment in that rebellion, when 100,000 young people, ages 15–25 flocked to San Francisco to experience the hippie movement. This mass convergence was sparked by the hit song, “San Francisco” (Wear a Flower in your Hair). Once there, these young adults experimented with LSD, pot, casual sex and Eastern mysticism in what became known as the “Summer of Love.”

When these newly recruited ‘Flower Children’ returned home at the end of the summer, they brought with them new styles and ideas, flooding the cities of the US and Europe with a message that opposed authority and scorned conservative morals. This counterculture rebellion was fueled by music and art, which rapidly shifted global culture.

For 40 years, we have been falling headlong into a black moral morass in America along with the western world. We are reaping the waves of destruction in every sector of our post Christian society. Can America survive another 40 years? We are declaring “NO! A thousand times NO!” Unless a massive spiritual shift occurs at this moment, our children will live under an antichrist system and Godless enculturation that will bring about the demise of America, as we know it.

But God has a prescription for such a massive shift and it is revealed in the power of the great transitional 40-day fast. God, in His sovereign control over the parade of history, delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. Longing to release a moral code that would give foundations for righteousness, for time and eternity, God summoned Moses to a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai. Through this fast, all of history changed and the law of God was delivered from Heaven to Earth. Therefore, if America is going to return to God, it must recover that law again as its foundation for truth.

Elijah, at the height of Jezebel’s cultic dominion over Israel fasted 40 days, broke the spell of Jezebel off of his own life and received a mandate to anoint the next generation. Elijah’s fast unleashed a movement that toppled Jezebel’s regime of hell, which perpetrated the destruction of family, the killing of innocent children, the silencing of the voice of God’s people and the widespread culture of sexual immorality. The fruit of this fast culminated in the utter destruction of Baal worship in Israel.

Also in the fullness of time, the Glorious Gospel era was born when Jesus fasted 40 days and those who sat in darkness saw a great light. Clearly the 40-day fast is Heaven’s great transitional prescription, moving nations from failure to fulfillment of promise. Is it any surprise that when Jesus was to enter into His great sacrifice—where death would be swallowed up in victory—Elijah and Moses appear with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration. All three were together as the 40-day fasters. They presided over the great transitions of history.

When the Israelites were poised to move into the Promise Land, spies were sent out for 40 days. When they returned carrying an evil report, a whole generation was infected with unbelief and they turned their back on the Promise Land. God’s sentence on that generation was “And your sons shall be wanderers in the wilderness for forty years and bear the brunt of your infidelity until your carcasses are consumed in the wilderness. According to the number of the days in which you spied out the land forty days, for each day you shall bear your guilt one year, namely forty years, and you shall know my rejection.” (Numbers 14:33–34) It was 40 years of judgment for 40 days failure.

Conversely, the great prophet Ezekiel received a 40-day prayer assignment for a 40-year failure of Judah’s iniquity. “Lie again on your right side, then you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Judah, forty days I have laid on you a day for each year.” (Ezekiel 4:6) It was clearly 40 days prayer for 40 years of failure.

When Jesus fasted 40 days and was tempted of the devil He quoted from the book of Deuteronomy saying “It is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” And again, “You shall not tempt the Lord thy God” and again, “You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you worship.” Jesus, in His victory over Satan, was quoting the book of Deuteronomy, the portion of scripture delivered by Moses to the generation who failed in the desert. Jesus, in His 40-day fast, was clearly identifying with that passage of scripture and the generation that came out of Egypt. As an intercessor in His 40-day fast, Jesus was fulfilling what a generation had failed in for 40 years.

Forty years are up! Could the Church of America in a 40-day fast deliver a nation out of a 40-year curse? We have scriptural precedent to believe for such a turning! Therefore, we are trumpeting a call to 40 days of fasting like Moses, Elijah, Ezekiel and Jesus. We must bear the iniquity in 40 days of fasting and intercession for the past 40 years of divorcing God in America, embracing a culture of sexual immorality, hedonism, materialism, abortion and the rejection of Christ in public places. But we are also calling for 40 days of fasting and prayer for the greatest outbreak of Kingdom power, in signs and wonders, and the spiritual awakening in America that will collide with this present darkness and topple its cultural dominion over our people. Thousands went on 40-day fasts in 1946 and in 1947, the great healing revivals broke out. In 1948, the Latter Rain outpourings began, Bill Bright and Billy Graham’s ministries were born, and Israel became a nation. Could it be that the 40-day fast preceded this explosion of power by the Spirit? After Jesus’ 40-day fast, the scripture says He returned in the power of the Spirit. Yes the promise of Joel 2 is that after the fast, “I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh…”

Forty years ago, in 1967, the Jesus Movement broke out. A youth revival started on the streets swept across the country, exploding on college campuses and coffee houses. People were being saved everywhere. Now 40 years later, we are crying out for God to do it again, way beyond the Jesus Movement!

In 1967, in a war and obviously by the supernatural hand of God, Jerusalem was taken and once again brought under the control of the state of Israel. This was a monumental signpost in the shifting of eras. The dispensation of the times of the Gentiles was now beginning to shift to the times when Jerusalem will become the last days focus for God’s activity in the Earth. For 40 days, we are joining Israel in a 40-day fast crying out to God that Israel would see their Messiah and they would begin to receive their greatest spiritual awakening since the days of the Apostles.

Brothers and sisters, moments like these come only once in a lifetime. To miss such a moment could mean missing the purpose of God for a generation. The generation that refused to cross over the Jordan did not know that they had only one day to make the decision, and missing that day meant 40 years in the desert.

Even now we are receiving reports that other countries are calling 40-day fasts. Could we be in a Global 40-day season of fasting (like Jesus), to see a global outbreak of light when great darkness is covering the Earth? Beginning the evening of May 28, we are calling two generations to 40 days of fasting and prayer culminating on 7–7–07, the perfection of time. In a massive, national gathering of fasting, intercession, repentance and worship, we seek to declare our desire to remarry the Lord. We want to cross over into the promise land of national revival. We want to break this 40-year curse. May thousands seek God in water, juice and Daniel fasts from May 28 through 7–7–07, The Call in Nashville.
What would happen in America if for 40 days we sealed the electronic cultural sewer that flows nightly into our living rooms and instead, spent our strength seeking the Lord? What if tens of thousands of fathers and mothers across our nation fasted for 40 days repenting and cleansing themselves of inward toleration of sexual immorality, pornography, addiction to food, entertainment and materialism? What if they prayed daily for their spiritual and physical children to see them converted to Christ and freed from rebellion, from addictions, depression and suicide? What if the young generation fasted for 40 days to be cleansed from lust, media addiction and rebellion toward there parents, believing that a double portion of the Holy Spirit would come upon there lives?

Moses fasted 40 days and mentored a spiritual son named Joshua, which means the Lord saves. Elijah fasted 40 days and threw his mantle on a double portion son, Elisha, which means the Lord saves. Also, John the Baptist fasted in the desert and prepared the way for a double portion son named Jesus, which means the Lord saves. Jesus fasted 40 days and unleashed the apostolic glory of the eternal Son of God into the Earth. What if we are preparing a generation for the greatest day of salvation in history? And so, what if tens of thousands of both generations fast together and gather on 7–7–07 for The Call Nashville in LP Field, to cry out to God in a Joel 2 moment for great national returning to the Lord?

The parade of history has brought us into a profound generational landmark, and a great vacuum has opened again. If the church does not seize this moment, Muslims will! Antichrist rage will! Sexual perversion will! Anarchy will! But now is the time for key men and women, even an entire generation to risk everything to become the hinge of history, the pivotal point which determines which way the door will swing in America and in the nations of the Earth. It's 40 Days or 40 Years—seize the day!

We will be launching this fast with a worldwide simulcast on GOD TV on May 26, 2007. For all information on the 40-day fast and The Call Nashville please visit our websites.40 Days for 40 Years

Ponderings of late...

No big ta da or anything. This is what I have been thinking about, studying, praying through.

In the prologue of John the idea of Jesus being the Word and the Light of men is introduced. From there it is elaborated on. (see for yourself here).
Here is an excerpt from my journal regarding Jesus being the Light:
"Personally, the phrase, "The Light has overcome the darkness." has been big for me.
I try to imagine this One in whom there is no darkness. I imagine this holy, inescapable, unstoppable light blasting sin and darkness from me.
I imagine that when we see Him or when He appears that many will shrink (1 John 2:28) from Him, much like when you turn on a light in a dark room where everyone is sleeping. How scary will it be when some look for relief in a shadow and only find light, light, light? When God appears no one can hide in the shadows any longer. Everything is exposed in the Light.

" This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:19-21

Another theme I am studying is healing in Jesus ministry.

Some things I am aiming to see are:

• What are the pattern's Jesus established when He healed. (compassion. mercy. faith)
• If Jesus only did what He saw the Father doing (see here) then what does this say about the Father.
• To become familiar with these passages of scripture
• To apply, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, these things to my life and ministry to others.

Lastly, here is something cool I found in an old journal (from Dec 16th, 2004)

Based on Romans 11:33

"The fact that we can understand the unknowable, search the unsearchable, and discern that which we could never before see is what makes His wisdom and knowledge so rich. It is valuable because we do not have the right to know, the capacity to understand, or the worth in ourselves to deserve the understanding of the things of God, but we can and we do. This is what makes this wisdom and knowledge infinitely valuable to our lives."

I heart adoption

The concept of adoption can be tricky to grasp sometimes. For me, it was always a natural knowledge of my adoption and my parents love for me. However, there are times when I tell people I'm adopted and their reaction is usually :
1.) What? No way!
2.) The look that almost says, "Wow. I'm so sorry." (surely some images of orphans comes up in their minds)
and
3.) Barrage of questions regarding my adoption.
If it weren't for some good books to help straighten us out, our society would still have a weird look regarding adoption. Just kidding about that last part. In reality, adoption is seen more as a last resort for couples that cannot conceive. However, that is starting to shift, especially in the church. That makes me excited! My outlook on abortion and adoption has changed significantly in the last few years.
I grew up in a fairly liberal home and remember the family getting excited about bumper stickers that said, "Keep your laws off my body" and the like. Though my parents clearly supported adoption(my sister and I are both adopted) they also were (and still are) pro-choice, something that confused me, especially as a teen. It was natural for me to follow my parents lead and I considered myself pro-choice from a young age. That started to change after I became a Christian, went to a high-school that became the safe-haven for pregnant teens from the large city 30 miles away, and started to pray about these issues. I'm coming out of the liberal closet and letting you know I am pro-life (some people don't know that).
Before you get your panties in a bunch I want to explain some of my beliefs concerning adoption and abortion and why. I am not going to try argue the old arguments of "When does life begin?".

1.) Pro-life for all ages If you are going to be pro-life that includes babies as well as murderers. If you shouldn't have the choice to abort then you shouldn't have the choice to kill adults either. Pro-life means being anti-death penalty. I hope that you agree.

2.) A Culture of Life-If we want an end to abortion we need to cultivate, encourage, and participate in a culture of life now. It seems that a lot of people are upset with Christians who picket against abortion because they seem so apathetic towards the actual people dealing with these decisions and situations. If we want make abortion illegal or limit it through legislation we need to support adoption agencies, homes for teen-mothers, and the women in our everyday lives (tithing? Just a suggestion). We as the Church especially need to set the example of taking care of these women and children. We who have experienced the adoption into God's family( look here and here) can and should be the first to adopt and support this act of love and mercy. That means support families that are adopting and even adopting children into our own families.

3.) No child is illegitimate to God- I really hate this term' illegitimate' that our society uses for children born out of wedlock. In reality the word is defined as being born out of wed lock or illegal and unlawful. However, the unsaid meaning of this word can mean something as no good, worthless, or unwanted. No person is any of these things to God. He delights in His creation, "Then I was the craftsman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind." Proverbs 8:30.
With that being said, that doesn't mean that God delights in sin. I think that's pretty clear. Henri Nouwen says it best ,
"We often confuse unconditional love with unconditional approval. God loves us without conditions but does not approve of every human behavior. God doesn’t approve of betrayal, violence, hatred, suspicion, and all other expressions of evil, because they all contradict the love God wants to instill in the human heart. Evil is the absence of God’s love." -Bread For the Journey, 1996
4.) Judgment=death- "Wow! That is quite a bold statement", you might be thinking. Well, let me explain. From personal experiences I have see first hand the judgment upon those who have had a child out of wedlock. Sadly, I saw this mostly within the Church. While many were supportive of these people, many were not secretive with their opinions at all. At one point I had announced the birth of their child and asked for prayer as the baby was still in bad shape at the hospital. I think the prayer request was lost as they reeled in shock and objection of the situation. It was at that moment while I was sitting in my church pew, disappointed with the congregation that had shown a lot of love to me, that I realized how much I did the same thing.

As I said before, our high school became a haven for pregnant teen mothers who need a place to live out their pregnancy without friends knowing about it. I judged those girls harshly, thinking, "How could they be so stupid!" I realized that I should have been supporting these girls in their decision to keep their child or give it up for adoption. It dawned on me that it was judgments like this, attitudes like this, actions like this, that motivates women to abort their children. We as a society and as the Church so harshly condemn them, showing no grace, that out of shame, fear of rejection and humiliation these women feel like abortion is the only choice. (I know that there are special situations, but I think this is the majority of cases, especially among teens.) Once when I was talking with a pro-choicer they said, "Nobody, wants babies to die." True. So why don't we do something?

That being said, being pro-life is more that waving picket signs, protesting, bombing abortion clinics. In fact, I think it is none of those things. Being pro-life outwardly may look like supporting adoption agencies or people who are adopting, or helping mothers who choose not to abort. But mainly, being pro-life is an attitude and overflow of the heart. We can look as pro-life as possible on the outside even while our hearts are filled with judgment, indifference, and a lack of compassion. We need to examine our own hearts for "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" John 3:17 (we usually stop at 16. It's time to move on)

Sidenote: another great post about adoption:Finding Intercession in the Craziest Places by Randy Bohlender

Things to get stuck on

Lately when I have been studying the Bible (sadly, this often gets pushed aside when my schedule gets crazy) there have been some things that I've gotten stuck on.
I think sometimes as Christians, or looking at Christians, there seems to be this unsaid rule that one should automatically understand scripture right as they read it and then be able to apply it immediately. Though the Holy Spirit definitely helps us understand the scriptures and give us revelation (sometimes, right away), I think it is good to be stuck sometimes. It is good to be frustrated, to really wrestle with a passage, to let it sink into your mind and bug you. It is good to read the Bible and be uncomfortable. Maybe it's uncomfortable because it seems to simple or because the wording just throws you off. Maybe it's uncomfortable because you know that you don't follow it, you fail when you try, and then you know you need help.
Here are a few things that I have been stuck on lately:

The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-7:29)
It feels better just to skim it and move on, but it's worth it to read it, want it, try it, fall short, ask for help and repeat over and over.
Here's an excerpt from my journal:

"The Sermon on the Mount is an unashamed challenge to the human heart. It challenges our stubborn selfishness and challenges us to reach towards the beauty, freedom, and wholeness we've always desired but never thought we could have."

One of my Religion and Philosophy/Christan Ministry professors said something regarding the Sermon on the Mount and it's message that struck me:
"The law says, "This is what I expect." Grace says, "I accept you anyway."-Dr. Craig Smith.

Something else I stumbled across today which resulted in some cognitive dissonance was John 12:44-50:
And Jesus cried out and said, "He who believes in Me, does not believe in Me but in Him who sent Me.
"He who sees Me sees the One who sent Me.
"I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness.
"If anyone hears My sayings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.
"He who rejects Me and does not receive My sayings, has one who judges him; the word I spoke is what will judge him at the last day.
"For I did not speak on My own initiative, but the Father Himself who sent Me has given Me a commandment as to what to say and what to speak.
"I know that His commandment is eternal life; therefore the things I speak, I speak just as the Father has told Me."

This makes sense, but I'm still wrestling with it, in particular, how it effects John 13:1-20, when Jesus washes the disciples' feet. It is good to take things in context. Any good exegete will tell you that.

So I say to you, any readers of this blog, when/if you read the word-let it bother you. Don't feel guilty if you don't get it right away (even if it takes years). Keep wrestling. Keep letting it bother you. Mostly, keep asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom, revelation, and discernment.

Keep on Keepin' on

I'm almost done with my second year of college. Scary.
Today concluded our last week of actual classes. Next week come finals. They shouldn't be so bad. The projects leading up to finals were the worst. Comparatively finals will be a breeze.

Along with trying to get everything done homework wise, this is also the last hurrah with a lot of my friends. Either I'm preparing to say "See you in August" or "Good luck with the rest of your life." I'm going to be sad to see my senior friends leave. Of course I'm glad that they can move on to Grad school or their careers, but I will definitely feel their absence, especially next August.

Well, that's the full report.

Myers-Briggs anyone?

So I randomly found this online quiz the other day. It's a shortened version of the classic Myers-Briggs test. Sometimes it's interesting what these kind of things end up saying about 'you'. Sometimes they are very vague or general so anyone could fit into the description. I was surprised at how well this test described me.
I am an INFJ (introverted-intuitive-feeler-judger). Go check it out and then report you findings in the comment section.
Here are some of the things that seemed right on the money:

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership.

INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals.

More on time management

Again, I am linking this post from Shawn Blanc's website www.thefightspot.com .
Read this if you are interested in finding a healthy balance managing you life in God, school, work, family, and friends, and all the rest.

3.5 Steps to Re-Asses Your Schedule.

Finally, some practical fashions

I found this story on CNN : Wet Wine dress grows as 'cave woman' fashion.
I thought that I might need to add something onto my previous essays on clothing.

My favorite quote is this:

"Cass said that, once the fibers became more pliant, his creation would have a more practical application.
"If you wanted a shirt you could get a cast made of your body and layer the cellulose around it," he said."

Sure, that's simple. I just had a cast of my body made the other day. Good job fashion industry.

The picture they put up doesn't help them much either.

One body, One Lord

If you needed any proof that all Christians are in the same church and body of Christ then just keep your eyes open and talk to your brothers and sisters. I think you will be amazed to see at the things God does individually in our hearts across the corporate body. I was very encouraged to stumble across this post by Brent Steeno (http://steeno.wordpress.com/). I feel that this is where I am at right now, especially the part I will bold/highlight below. I am not alone. God's loving kindness is better than life.

March 14th, 2007
Do I Really Believe?
I am finding that it is much easier to talk about situations then to actually walk through them. On the front side it is easy to give advice to someone about the trials that we go through in life and on the back side it is easy to look back and remember that it was not as hard as it seems. But in the middle of trying circumstances and situations it is not as easy as one thought. Your heart is put to test in the middle of it. Everything you have believed is suddenly put right in your face and the challenge is to fully embrace what the Lord is doing in your life.

I find myself it such a season. It is a season that I have thought about for some time, knew I would enter into and tried to prepare my heart for the best way that I knew how. But I realize that it was a subject that I seemed relatively comfortable to talk about but now that I am in that season I realize it is more arduous then I at one time thought.

My challenge in this season is this: Do I really believe in the nature and character of God? Do I really believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him? Do I really believe that the great “eye” of God is searching to and fro through out the earth looking for those whose hearts are fully given to Him? Do I really believe that the hand of God is upon my life and He is directing my steps?

Again, on the front end I could say yes without much of a struggle and I know that at the end of this season I will say yes with the utmost confidence. But it is this time, the great in-between, that I feel the Lord is testing my heart and really getting at the areas of unbelief that I have tried to conceal deep down in the depths of my own heart.

This is a painful process but one that is very much needed if I am going to go the places with the Lord that I want to go. I have to learn to trust the leadership of God upon my life and lean into in every season, even the seasons in which I feel as though His “eye” is not upon me. The more I think about the more I realize that it is in the seasons that you think His “eye” is not upon you, that you are just another person lost in the masses of humanity, it is in that very season, that very time that His great “eye” is upon you all the more. His eye is upon you wanting you to respond to Him correctly in this season. The joy the Father must feel when in these times, the times when no one is looking and we feel forgotten, that we choose to still give ourselves to the Lord. Oh the overwhelming emotions that must well up in the heart of our Father when we choose to live by faith and not by sight. When we choose to love Him back and cultivate our heart in meekness and humility knowing that this is what our Father in heaven wants for us.
So, I guess I know realize that it is in this time, when I feel alone and on the backside of the mountain that His eye is even more intensely upon me, watching how my little heart responds. Yikes! That KABOD!

Trusting God with Judgment

This is something I wrote a long time ago and I opened it up today and thought, "Hey, that's not bad." I might expound on it more later but I'll just publish it as it is today.

Judgment is a word our culture doesn’t like to hear except maybe in the context of a courtroom drama. Ideas like a harsh judge, an angry parent, or an angry God may come into our minds when we try to understand judgment. A lot of our ideas of judgment come from our misinterpretations and misunderstandings of the Old Testament ideas of judgment. Many times we see ourselves as the ones at the end of God’s wrath and thus shy away from this concept.

First, I want to discuss this idea of being objects of wrath. The Bible says that “God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses wrath everyday” (Psalm 7:11. NIV), so yes, it is something we need to understand. What we commonly misunderstand is who God’s wrath is against. God is a judge but he is also our advocate. God hates anything that gets in our way of getting to Him. God desires to strip away those things in the world and in our lives that block us from Him. God does judge our sin, but it is more out of desire to free us from sin than to condemn us for it.
Ephesians 2:3-5, says,
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying our sinful nature and following judge, desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”
It’s clear that though we were objects of wrath, Jesus had covered our sins. Therefore, we can look at Jesus as our advocate and ask him to judge areas in our lives that are keeping us from the fullness of knowing God and bring them into alignment with His word and heart.

Our idea of God also influences the way we view judgment. If we do view God as anything less than He is, basically anything human, than we reduce his obligation and desire to judge. If God is righteous, loving, holy, and is good then He must judge. If He is righteous He will not stand that which is sinful. If He loves He will not allow the world to be consumed and ravaged by sin and the suffering that accompanies it. If He is holy He will not stand for that which profanes the good things He has created. Judgment is necessary for restoration and reconciliation. If we do not believe that these things motivate all of God’s actions then we cannot trust him.

So why else can we trust God to judge? The answer is Jesus. Jesus is our judge. In Revelation 5, a search goes out to find one worthy to open the scrolls that will release God’s judgments on the earth. But no one was found worthy, not “in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look at it” (Rev. 5:3). Finally the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, Jesus, was found to be worthy. What makes Jesus worthy? Isaiah 53 provides an answer. Jesus the man knew our sorrows and suffering as well as taking upon himself our transgression and iniquities. Jesus suffered under the wrath of God and understands the depths of God’s judgments. Also, Jesus, the Son of God, knows better than anyone the heart of the father. He too, desires that none would perish, but would know God (2 Peter 3:9).

Think what would happen if we were responsible for judging our own or others wrong doing. When it comes to human nature the idea of Occum’s Razor applies here, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The one who is fully man and fully God is perfectly suited to unleash God’s judgments. He is the truth and can be trusted with the rod of justice.

The Keyboard is back!

The keyboard is back and this time returns with a brand new hard case. The hard case looks really cool and professional. Unfortunately it weighs a bit more than usual (sarcasm=a lot!).

Spring "Break"

Break is in quotes because Choir Tour is not only not a break, but a frenzy of long bus rides, concerts, little sleep, and people around you 24/7. I will give you a few highlights



The Bus:
This was the thorn in our flesh for the whole trip. In New Mexico/Arizona (the desert) the air conditioning stopped working. We tripped to fix it multiple times but we did not have it until we headed back through Colorado where it wasn't needed.
A semi side swiped us on the L.A. Freeway and almost completely knocked off one of our rear view mirrors.
On the pass in Colorado the fuel filter stopped working. When our driver pushed the gas the bus only went 20 miles per hour so he put it in neutral and we coasted down the mountain for 15 miles at speeds of 60-70mph.

The beach:
That was the best. This is where a majority of my pictures were taken. Prepare to be montaged!




Me playing in the water.

Kansas kids on the beach

Jeanwise and Mollywise find some kelp.

Kelp: Weeds of the Sea!

David and Nate recreate some scenes from Baywatch.

Ben and I waltz on the beach!

Me, Molly, and Jean are enjoying the beach!

My buddy Curtis and I trying to pull some stunts.

Did I forget anything?

Right now I am packing for our Choir trip to California. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think I started too early because I'm just chilling out in the room wandering what to do with myself.
I did laundry last night.
I have all of my outfits ready to go.
I know what needs to go in my backpack.
I have my Ipod all charged.
I switched my music into a bigger choir folder to fit it all.
I laid out my outfit for tomorrow.

Hmmm. I guess I'll just enjoy some free time. Weird.

God, time management, and college: Part 2

No one posted anything as a suggestion on the last post of a similar title, so I'm just going to go ahead with something I've been thinking about and trying to implement in my own life lately. These posts are mainly for my peers who have lately expressed frustration at trying to strike a balance in their college life and spiritual life.

Vision
The vision you have for your life, from what I hear, can really make or break your time-management attempts. Having a vision will help you evaluate in the hours, days, weeks, and months of your life what is really important. It will be the plumb line that evaluates if the walls of your life are being built straight and level. So how do we start? What principles do we need to know? What does it look like?

How do we start?
Pray- Ask God what His plan is for you. Ask this question often. Ask this question regarding the near and far future. What does God have for you this month? What does God have planned for you throughout college? What career/field are you called to? And, perhaps the most important question, "Where do I fit in eternity? What is my eternal purpose?" (note:some of these answers in their more general form can be found in the Bible. Thanks God!)
Evaluate- What are your likes/dislikes? What are you passionate about? What things are you drawn to? Survey your friends- What skills/talents/abilities do they notice in you? Where do you tend to spend your time?

What principles do we need to know?
There are various types of goals- It can often be easier to set goals for yourself in sections. It could be broken down into things like education, talents, time, career, relationships, financial, health, relationship with God. Mike Bickle of the International House of Prayer said, "Our commitments define us. Without something to die for there is nothing to live for. Getting a clear picture of who we can be can impact our lives. Do you have a vision, not for where your career, family, or schooling is going, but for your heart?" (paraphrase).
Perspective is important- Often times we can use goals as an evaluation of how we compare with others. That will lead to envy and that is never a fun place to be. When it comes to spiritual goals (especially) it is good to set goals that don't deal with things we can necessarily see. For example, some of my goals this year were as follows:

• I want to weep over the word because my heart is tender before the Lord
• I want to be known in the courts of heaven, not the courts of men.
• I want to be found faithful coming before God like Mary of Bethany; sitting before Jesus' feet to hear His word and voice.

What does it look like?
It probably looks more normal than you think. We don't go around noticing the people that really do manage their time well because they seem so normal. A balanced schedule( and therefore priorities) is just that: balanced. You don't have to spend your whole college career in Chapel, in prayer, and Bible Study 24/7. You don't have to move your dorm room into the library either. If you find yourself neglecting your school work and classes because you are spending so much time secluded in your prayer closet either try to adjust your schedule so you have time for school or move to a monastery/convent/24-7 prayer ministry (vice versa for spending too much time studying). After all, if you are in school it's probably because you felt called by God to be there and be a student.
Being faithful in the small things like homework, showing up, and being responsible can mean a lot to God. Believe it or not, being a student can be a ministry. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying! God is faithful and wants you to succeed in this area of your life (note to self: heed your words)

Maybe there will be more to come later. Still accepting comments, personal stories/experience, and or any type of feedback at all. Don't be shy.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away

So I did get my keyboard back. It was in tip top shape for a few days. Sunday I brought it to Sunday Chapel because our praise band was playing. I tried to plug it in to 5 different outlets and nothing happened. So my friend Tiffiney brought her piano and saved the day.

So the keyboard is going back to shop this week. Super.

So close I can almost taste it....oh wait...it's mostly my apathy

Spring Break commences far too early this Friday!!! The whole choir is taking off for southern California for 10 days of concerts, sun, and bus rides!!! (The exclamation points don't apply to the bus rides.) We load up at 4:30am Friday.
I think we will have a good trip. We have way more concerts than we did last year, which is good. The most exciting thing for me is that most of our Praise Band (the ones in choir) were chosen to lead worship one night on the beach!!!! How do I get to do such cool stuff!!!
I'm also staying at The Nate Prior's house with my choir buddies Jean and Molly. All sorts of craziness should result.
Please pray for us as we travel and perform (sickness tends to run rampant when we spend all day, every day together), and especially when we're on the beach. We don't want anyone to burn :)

Prepare, Sow, Persevere, Reap

Galatians 6:7-9 and Hosea 10:12 are verses that God has really highlighted to me in the past few weeks and I also feel are important to Sterling College :

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:7-9

Sow with a view to righteousness,

Reap in accordance with kindness;

Break up your fallow ground,

For it is time to seek the LORD

Until He comes to rain righteousness on you.

Hosea 10:12

(fallow ground: land that has not been used for a period of time. So....expose and prepare those areas in your life that you have allowed to lie dormant to be used. This referred to Israel's idolatry so today's application could be to bring some hidden on ignored sin before God to seek forgiveness and restoration.)

Let us seek the Lord and sow in faith for things in our future, first exposing those areas that need some attention to God, expecting Him to rain upon them in righteousness.

This is the prayer of my heart: That God would prepare my heart by breaking up the hard ground, exposing and uprooting the weeds, and preparing it to receive His word, Spirit, and love, as well as help me to persevere in my side of tending to my garden.

And there was much rejoicing

The keyboard is back!!!!! Praise God!

Tragedy Strikes (and it sounds a lot like a B flat)

God has been giving me a lot of different opportunities to worship lead lately and that is really exciting. It is so humbling to know that when I open my mouth to sing and move my fingers to play that anything that happens to those listening, whether they are convicted, comforted, receive guidance or revelation, or feel God's love it's not because anything I'm doing except trying to be obedient to what God has called me to do and trying to depend on Him to find out what that is.

So, I was worship leading for Evan's Worship Wednesday Night (it went really well and was a blast). My Mennokid (someone who's the product by denomination or family history of Mennonites) friend Erin leads Evan's Worship and she gave me this awesome opportunity. At the end of worship one of my fellow Chaplains and all around cool guy, John H, volunteered to help me take my keyboard out to Erin's car to bring it back to my dorm. I can't carry my keyboard on my own, so I was perfectly cool with him taking it for me.

We were 3 steps outside the door when I heard this noise, "Snap! Thud!". If there was ever such a heart sinking noise. I turned around and John looked up at me with these huge eyes and said, "I'm SOOOO sorry!!!!! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! The thing broke!". Sure enough, with absolutely nothing to do with John, the strap that went from end to end of the case broke and one half of my keyboard was resting on the cement. I assured John, Erin, and Joel (innocent bystander) that it should be fine and we can just roll it to the car.

We brought it back to the dorm and Erin helped me set it up. I noticed right away that the B-flat key, 2 below middle C, was smushed down a little. That's God's mercy right there. So many more keys could have been injured and to a much more severe degree. I really wasn't all that worried. God really provided for this keyboard so that I could worship lead. I believed that God would continue to provide.

So the next day we called the place where we bought it and told them the whole story. Since it was the case that broke the agreed to pay for all the repairs as well as putting $125 towards a new case (the cost of the first case). So in a few weeks I will have a repaired keyboard, free of charge, and a new hard case that was basically 50% off. God is good and He truly loves to bless His children with good gifts.

Come back quickly, Kawai!

The God of Restoration

I feel like this is a very important scripture to Sterling College right now. We need to know what God is planning. I feel like this is what is on His heart. In the places of death, God desires to bring life!

Isaiah 35
Joy of the Redeemed

1 The desert and the parched land will be glad;

the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.

Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom;

it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.

The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,

the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;

they will see the glory of the LORD,

the splendor of our God.
3 Strengthen the feeble hands,

steady the knees that give way;
4 say to those with fearful hearts,

"Be strong, do not fear;

your God will come,

he will come with vengeance;

with divine retribution

he will come to save you."
5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened

and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
6 Then will the lame leap like a deer,

and the mute tongue shout for joy.

Water will gush forth in the wilderness

and streams in the desert.
7 The burning sand will become a pool,

the thirsty ground bubbling springs.

In the haunts where jackals once lay,

grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
8 And a highway will be there;

it will be called the Way of Holiness.

The unclean will not journey on it;

it will be for those who walk in that Way;

wicked fools will not go about on it.
9 No lion will be there,

nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;

they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,
10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

I feel that right now we need to be doing what verse 3-4 talk about: strengthening and encouraging those who are weak and anxious. We need to prepare ourselves as well for this new season. I had this image in my mind of someone in front of Cooper (where the chapel is) and they were raking the ground. The ground was full of cracks and dry,dry dirt. Someone walked by and started mocking the person who was raking. However this encouraging came, "This is wisdom". It is wisdom to prepare in this way, even those places that look hopeless. It will soon be worth it to labor for things that look foolish now. Keep going! Keep praying! Keep fasting! Keep studying! Keep encouraging others!