Sad news

This morning my family got a call from the assisted living apartments where my grandma lived. They informed us that she had died during the night. It has been a sad day and I don't think the reality has set in for most of us as we have planned her funeral as well as made preparations for relatives who are coming to stay with us.
I mourn the loss of my beloved grandma, Theresa, who was an amazing woman of faith. She prayed for all of our family members daily, as well as close family friends and significant others. I know that her prayers have helped shape me into the person I am today. She was also extremely involved in the community, working with the elderly, teaching Sunday school, and 'adopting' college kids as a prayer partner and mentor. She was also extremely sharp, and the toughest competitor at scrabble I've ever known. She has also been strong willed, probably due to her long life that experienced the depression, wars, deaths of husbands, and raising 4 kids (she was born in 1914).
I am sad that she is gone but now she does not have to suffer through the pain of cancer and she is finally home. I know I'll see her again. I rejoice that she gets to hang out with Jesus, she waited 92 years for it!

Please keep my family in your prayers as we say goodbye and heal. Also, many of my family members are traveling.

Job Description

How would you like to be born to do a specific job? From the moment you were born you've know exactly what you're supposed to be doing. Your life is shaped by this knowledge; day to day decisions come under the scrutiny of relevance to your future. Will this help or hurt your future position? Is it really beneficial? I'm sure some feel like they have been there due to parent's hopes and expectations. What if your parents knew before you were born?

Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous--to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." Luke 1:11-17 (NIV)

Did you catch that job description? It's pretty hefty. The part that hits me hard is the very last line, "to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." This is the job description of John the Baptist, a man who Jesus called the greatest man ever born of a woman (Matthew 11:11). His job descriptionn is one of a forerunner. A forerunner is what it sounds like, one who runs ahead or makes a way before (no, not just a trendsetter), but John the Baptist is the living example of a forerunner. A little odd? Seemingly extreme? Worth it? You bet. But did you read his job description?

I may not have the same 'job description' as John the Baptist and it may not even come close. I do know that I want to live a focused life where the choices are continuously weighed against my destiny. I may not know all the details of my job description at this point but I do know that I am supposed to, "Love the Lord [my] God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength" (Deuteronomy 6:4-6) and to love others (1 John 4:19-21). I will keep doing that (at least attempting it. disclaimer: I'm not perfect) ; living with the same weight as if my actions and inactions prepare people for the Lord. In that aspect I hope to be a forerunner.

Off I go.

Check this out!

I just made an excellent find, which some have probably already found. He's an orthodox Jewish reggae rapper. He's Matisyahu. He's released a new album, Youth, which sounds amazing from what I've heard. Right now you can check out his video, "King without a crown", which is Relevant Magazine's featured video. Check him out!

Finally!

After a rather discouraging week of realizing that I hate t.v. and don't have much to do I got a break. Thursday Jen B. , my R.D. at school, called me up and invited me to a weekend at the IHOP (prayer, not pancakes). I was able to go, since I haven't planned anything. We got there just in time for the Friday night Encounter God service (EGS) and my favorite worship leader, Misty Edwards, spoke and it was amazing. Saturday I got up early and did the Special Olympics Bun Run with Ang, Trav, and Jack. It was a lot of fun! After than we went to brunch at First Watch and returned home to nap. After napping, feeding the Jack, and playing with the Jack, Travis dropped me off at the IHOP. I ended up being in the prayer room for almost 7 hours straight.

This weekend was what I needed. After running after meaningless entertainment and feeling stuck where God seems far away I have returned refocused and refreshed. Soaking myself in the Word, worship, and prayer reminded me of God's faithfulness, worthiness, and how much I want to know and love Him.

Weekend at Ihop and with family=success.

Take that boring summer!

Summer begins

So I feel like this could be another summer where weekends don't matter anymore. Days slip by filled with little more than sleeping, something creative every once and awhile, and a menial task or two. When the weekend comes it is just another day, nothing significant to mark it as different from the weekdays except a name.
If I had a job it might seem different. It's not that I want a job necessarily and I don't need one. However, it would be nice to feel like I'm accomplishing something everyday, something that helps others. I do accomplish things now, just things that interest me or benefit me.
What I really want to do with my summer is simple. It's not a specific job, more of a list of goals:

• Positively impact those around me by ministering to them in some way.
• Grow as an individual through serving.
• Learn about God as a result of working with and serving others.

I don't even care about pay that much. I'd volunteer if I knew I was needed. Ah, summer.

Congrats!

My sister graduated from college yesterday and she did it in three years! Everyone high-five my sister or hug her. If you don't know her don't try any of that because that would be creepy.

Anyway...

Congrats sissy, I'm proud of you!

Moved out- Unpacked

Phase 2 and 3: I have officially moved out of the dorm and have moved back home for the summer. Packing wasn't a big deal at all and neither was moving it all back. Now it's time for phase 4: Assimilation into the home environment.
Observations:

• There is definitely less to do.
• I still have to unpack all my junk. Dang.
• I haven't seen any of my friends around yet.
• This is going to be a long summer.
• Though I thought I packed them, none of my college friends made it home with me. :(

I'm still getting used to the quiet and the lack of stimulus/entertainment at home. Quiet and lack of entertainment are two things dorm life does not include.

Going home is almost like going through withdrawal. I didn't know college could ever be so addicting.

Pack it up-Move it out

Right now I'm on 'Pack it Up'. From what I remember of packing to come here it's much better to pack to go home. Not as many decisions, just "Pack it" or "Chuck it". The worst part is taking down all my pictures and the like. My room looks naked now. Granted that also means it looks cleaner I still like to decorate. I don't really have that much to pack right now. I only have one box and I filled it with things from my desk. My mom will bring more boxes tomorrow and the majority of the packing will be done then. I still don't feel like it's the end of the school year. Weird. I'm sure that once the idea that I won't see all my friends on a daily basis sets in I will be a lot more emotional, right now I just feel like I'm packing up for winter break. It's now time to move away from a temporary home to what no longer seems like home. Ah, summer.

Take that!

Take that finals!!! I'm finished with you!

Victory is mine.

Almost done...

It's finals week here at Sterling College and that means craziness, mostly caused by a lack of sleep and a strong desire to do anything but study. I finished my two hardest finals yesterday and today and will coast through the rest of the week doing pretty much nothing. Good for me.

The thing is I actually have to go home after this.

Sigh.

It's not that I don't want to be at home, but that I'm going to miss my college buddies. I think I will miss dorm life...well...parts of it anyway. I just can't believe that this is the last week. At least I'll have time to do things I want like read, make art, watch movies I missed, go to The IHOP (prayer, not pancakes), visit Ang, Trav, and Jack (as well as babysit), and hang out with Jesus. It'll be nice.

Back to finals.
Something interesting I've noticed is that I don't know half of the classes my friends are in. I just forget that they're in some classes because I never hear about it, that is until finals week. Then I just feel dumb.

Yay for finals being almost over.

This has to be one of the most un-organized and unpurposeful posts ever. Sorry about that.

Remembering The 48

Yesterday Jen, a few others, and I took down the prayer room. It has been open all day and some evenings ever since The 48. We took down the posters, the information signs, the post-it notes, the art work, the Bibles, the hymnals, and the chairs. Everything, except the architecture, serving as a sign of what God's been doing on campus and that this is a house of prayer has been taken down.
It was sad. The year is ending. All the students are parting ways for the summer. Faithful seniors who have been monumental in the prayer happenings on campus are moving on. For awhile, this room that we prayed over, prayed in, cried in, sang in, danced in, and changed in will no longer be used for prayer.
It was sad, however, it was also joyful. As I placed the post-its filled with prayers and praises and the posters filled with testimonies of break-throughs of hearts and lives changing I was reminded of God's faithfulness, of His power, of His love, of his Grace, His goodness, and His holiness. Though the people are leaving and the space is empty God was (and is) here, present in our lives and on our campus. The 48 was not a dream and though the memory may fade for some, the impact of experiencing the presence of God will forever wound many for love. People have been changed. I have been changed. God is faithful. What He has promised He will do and He has done.

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

and your dominion endures through all generations.

The LORD is faithful to all his promises

and loving toward all he has made.

Psalm 145:13

Joy and Sadness. An interesting paradox, though not unexpected. Life from death. Beauty from ashes. A paradox that does more than perplex and amaze, but creates desire for that which I mourn for and that which I rejoice over.

Last Day of Classes

I finished my last day of classes for my first year of College! Weird. Very weird. It does not seem possible that it is almost summer. It does not seem possible that I'm practically done with my freshman year. I have packed a lot into 2 semesters. I don't really have time to introspective and give a review of the year. Maybe later...after finals or something. Blah. I think out of all my classes I'm going to miss Human Social Context the most. I actually learned things and was impacted by a required course! The main things I learned was how ignorant I am when it comes to what is really going on in the world (mainly with injustice) and I have learned to hate my own indifference.

Are you an awkward kid?

I'm an awkward kid. If you knew me at all when I was younger (especially in late middle school to junior high) you would agree with that statement. What is an awkward kid anyway? I can verify that they never completely grow out of their awkwardness, more like into it, and that has to make them some of the coolest people around. So how do you know if you (or someone else) was or is an awkward kid? Here are some of the symptoms:

• Sports related injuries. (In my case getting hit in the face a lot when playing sports that involve balls.)
• Slightly uncoordinated.
• Has albums full of awkward junior high photos (as mentioned above)
• Trips over oneself frequently
• Talks before thinking (foot in mouth)
• Embarrasses self frequently, often thinking it's worse than it is.
• Can be shy
• Unique sense of humor

Now here are the counterparts of what makes Awkward kids cool:

• Cool scars and heightened tolerance of physical pain
• Often finds out later that they can be incredibly suave in other areas (i.e. dancing) and that they look smoother than they feel.
• Has photo's to look back on to use as stand-up comedy routines and realize how good looking they are now.
• Still trips, however less injuries and embarrassment are sustained.
• Has learned when to speak and when to listen. (Depends on the person)
• Has learned not to care about other people's opinions=less embarrassment, more self-confidence.
• Befriends shy people. Compassionate to others.
• People finally appreciate their unique sense of humor. Also enjoys other people's quirks

Although some are more awkward than others, everyone has been an awkward kid at some point in their life. I hope you can see how awesome, unique, and wonderful your awkwardness has made you. Go awkward kids!