Sad news

This morning my family got a call from the assisted living apartments where my grandma lived. They informed us that she had died during the night. It has been a sad day and I don't think the reality has set in for most of us as we have planned her funeral as well as made preparations for relatives who are coming to stay with us.
I mourn the loss of my beloved grandma, Theresa, who was an amazing woman of faith. She prayed for all of our family members daily, as well as close family friends and significant others. I know that her prayers have helped shape me into the person I am today. She was also extremely involved in the community, working with the elderly, teaching Sunday school, and 'adopting' college kids as a prayer partner and mentor. She was also extremely sharp, and the toughest competitor at scrabble I've ever known. She has also been strong willed, probably due to her long life that experienced the depression, wars, deaths of husbands, and raising 4 kids (she was born in 1914).
I am sad that she is gone but now she does not have to suffer through the pain of cancer and she is finally home. I know I'll see her again. I rejoice that she gets to hang out with Jesus, she waited 92 years for it!

Please keep my family in your prayers as we say goodbye and heal. Also, many of my family members are traveling.

Job Description

How would you like to be born to do a specific job? From the moment you were born you've know exactly what you're supposed to be doing. Your life is shaped by this knowledge; day to day decisions come under the scrutiny of relevance to your future. Will this help or hurt your future position? Is it really beneficial? I'm sure some feel like they have been there due to parent's hopes and expectations. What if your parents knew before you were born?

Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous--to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." Luke 1:11-17 (NIV)

Did you catch that job description? It's pretty hefty. The part that hits me hard is the very last line, "to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." This is the job description of John the Baptist, a man who Jesus called the greatest man ever born of a woman (Matthew 11:11). His job descriptionn is one of a forerunner. A forerunner is what it sounds like, one who runs ahead or makes a way before (no, not just a trendsetter), but John the Baptist is the living example of a forerunner. A little odd? Seemingly extreme? Worth it? You bet. But did you read his job description?

I may not have the same 'job description' as John the Baptist and it may not even come close. I do know that I want to live a focused life where the choices are continuously weighed against my destiny. I may not know all the details of my job description at this point but I do know that I am supposed to, "Love the Lord [my] God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength" (Deuteronomy 6:4-6) and to love others (1 John 4:19-21). I will keep doing that (at least attempting it. disclaimer: I'm not perfect) ; living with the same weight as if my actions and inactions prepare people for the Lord. In that aspect I hope to be a forerunner.

Off I go.

Check this out!

I just made an excellent find, which some have probably already found. He's an orthodox Jewish reggae rapper. He's Matisyahu. He's released a new album, Youth, which sounds amazing from what I've heard. Right now you can check out his video, "King without a crown", which is Relevant Magazine's featured video. Check him out!

Finally!

After a rather discouraging week of realizing that I hate t.v. and don't have much to do I got a break. Thursday Jen B. , my R.D. at school, called me up and invited me to a weekend at the IHOP (prayer, not pancakes). I was able to go, since I haven't planned anything. We got there just in time for the Friday night Encounter God service (EGS) and my favorite worship leader, Misty Edwards, spoke and it was amazing. Saturday I got up early and did the Special Olympics Bun Run with Ang, Trav, and Jack. It was a lot of fun! After than we went to brunch at First Watch and returned home to nap. After napping, feeding the Jack, and playing with the Jack, Travis dropped me off at the IHOP. I ended up being in the prayer room for almost 7 hours straight.

This weekend was what I needed. After running after meaningless entertainment and feeling stuck where God seems far away I have returned refocused and refreshed. Soaking myself in the Word, worship, and prayer reminded me of God's faithfulness, worthiness, and how much I want to know and love Him.

Weekend at Ihop and with family=success.

Take that boring summer!

Summer begins

So I feel like this could be another summer where weekends don't matter anymore. Days slip by filled with little more than sleeping, something creative every once and awhile, and a menial task or two. When the weekend comes it is just another day, nothing significant to mark it as different from the weekdays except a name.
If I had a job it might seem different. It's not that I want a job necessarily and I don't need one. However, it would be nice to feel like I'm accomplishing something everyday, something that helps others. I do accomplish things now, just things that interest me or benefit me.
What I really want to do with my summer is simple. It's not a specific job, more of a list of goals:

• Positively impact those around me by ministering to them in some way.
• Grow as an individual through serving.
• Learn about God as a result of working with and serving others.

I don't even care about pay that much. I'd volunteer if I knew I was needed. Ah, summer.

Congrats!

My sister graduated from college yesterday and she did it in three years! Everyone high-five my sister or hug her. If you don't know her don't try any of that because that would be creepy.

Anyway...

Congrats sissy, I'm proud of you!

Moved out- Unpacked

Phase 2 and 3: I have officially moved out of the dorm and have moved back home for the summer. Packing wasn't a big deal at all and neither was moving it all back. Now it's time for phase 4: Assimilation into the home environment.
Observations:

• There is definitely less to do.
• I still have to unpack all my junk. Dang.
• I haven't seen any of my friends around yet.
• This is going to be a long summer.
• Though I thought I packed them, none of my college friends made it home with me. :(

I'm still getting used to the quiet and the lack of stimulus/entertainment at home. Quiet and lack of entertainment are two things dorm life does not include.

Going home is almost like going through withdrawal. I didn't know college could ever be so addicting.

Pack it up-Move it out

Right now I'm on 'Pack it Up'. From what I remember of packing to come here it's much better to pack to go home. Not as many decisions, just "Pack it" or "Chuck it". The worst part is taking down all my pictures and the like. My room looks naked now. Granted that also means it looks cleaner I still like to decorate. I don't really have that much to pack right now. I only have one box and I filled it with things from my desk. My mom will bring more boxes tomorrow and the majority of the packing will be done then. I still don't feel like it's the end of the school year. Weird. I'm sure that once the idea that I won't see all my friends on a daily basis sets in I will be a lot more emotional, right now I just feel like I'm packing up for winter break. It's now time to move away from a temporary home to what no longer seems like home. Ah, summer.

Take that!

Take that finals!!! I'm finished with you!

Victory is mine.

Almost done...

It's finals week here at Sterling College and that means craziness, mostly caused by a lack of sleep and a strong desire to do anything but study. I finished my two hardest finals yesterday and today and will coast through the rest of the week doing pretty much nothing. Good for me.

The thing is I actually have to go home after this.

Sigh.

It's not that I don't want to be at home, but that I'm going to miss my college buddies. I think I will miss dorm life...well...parts of it anyway. I just can't believe that this is the last week. At least I'll have time to do things I want like read, make art, watch movies I missed, go to The IHOP (prayer, not pancakes), visit Ang, Trav, and Jack (as well as babysit), and hang out with Jesus. It'll be nice.

Back to finals.
Something interesting I've noticed is that I don't know half of the classes my friends are in. I just forget that they're in some classes because I never hear about it, that is until finals week. Then I just feel dumb.

Yay for finals being almost over.

This has to be one of the most un-organized and unpurposeful posts ever. Sorry about that.

Remembering The 48

Yesterday Jen, a few others, and I took down the prayer room. It has been open all day and some evenings ever since The 48. We took down the posters, the information signs, the post-it notes, the art work, the Bibles, the hymnals, and the chairs. Everything, except the architecture, serving as a sign of what God's been doing on campus and that this is a house of prayer has been taken down.
It was sad. The year is ending. All the students are parting ways for the summer. Faithful seniors who have been monumental in the prayer happenings on campus are moving on. For awhile, this room that we prayed over, prayed in, cried in, sang in, danced in, and changed in will no longer be used for prayer.
It was sad, however, it was also joyful. As I placed the post-its filled with prayers and praises and the posters filled with testimonies of break-throughs of hearts and lives changing I was reminded of God's faithfulness, of His power, of His love, of his Grace, His goodness, and His holiness. Though the people are leaving and the space is empty God was (and is) here, present in our lives and on our campus. The 48 was not a dream and though the memory may fade for some, the impact of experiencing the presence of God will forever wound many for love. People have been changed. I have been changed. God is faithful. What He has promised He will do and He has done.

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

and your dominion endures through all generations.

The LORD is faithful to all his promises

and loving toward all he has made.

Psalm 145:13

Joy and Sadness. An interesting paradox, though not unexpected. Life from death. Beauty from ashes. A paradox that does more than perplex and amaze, but creates desire for that which I mourn for and that which I rejoice over.

Last Day of Classes

I finished my last day of classes for my first year of College! Weird. Very weird. It does not seem possible that it is almost summer. It does not seem possible that I'm practically done with my freshman year. I have packed a lot into 2 semesters. I don't really have time to introspective and give a review of the year. Maybe later...after finals or something. Blah. I think out of all my classes I'm going to miss Human Social Context the most. I actually learned things and was impacted by a required course! The main things I learned was how ignorant I am when it comes to what is really going on in the world (mainly with injustice) and I have learned to hate my own indifference.

Are you an awkward kid?

I'm an awkward kid. If you knew me at all when I was younger (especially in late middle school to junior high) you would agree with that statement. What is an awkward kid anyway? I can verify that they never completely grow out of their awkwardness, more like into it, and that has to make them some of the coolest people around. So how do you know if you (or someone else) was or is an awkward kid? Here are some of the symptoms:

• Sports related injuries. (In my case getting hit in the face a lot when playing sports that involve balls.)
• Slightly uncoordinated.
• Has albums full of awkward junior high photos (as mentioned above)
• Trips over oneself frequently
• Talks before thinking (foot in mouth)
• Embarrasses self frequently, often thinking it's worse than it is.
• Can be shy
• Unique sense of humor

Now here are the counterparts of what makes Awkward kids cool:

• Cool scars and heightened tolerance of physical pain
• Often finds out later that they can be incredibly suave in other areas (i.e. dancing) and that they look smoother than they feel.
• Has photo's to look back on to use as stand-up comedy routines and realize how good looking they are now.
• Still trips, however less injuries and embarrassment are sustained.
• Has learned when to speak and when to listen. (Depends on the person)
• Has learned not to care about other people's opinions=less embarrassment, more self-confidence.
• Befriends shy people. Compassionate to others.
• People finally appreciate their unique sense of humor. Also enjoys other people's quirks

Although some are more awkward than others, everyone has been an awkward kid at some point in their life. I hope you can see how awesome, unique, and wonderful your awkwardness has made you. Go awkward kids!

Untimely...

There's nothing like being sick, or knowing that you're headed that way. For the past two days my throat has been a little sore every once and awhile. I figured it was due to allergy related drainage. Too bad it's not going away. And I feel pooped. Too bad this is the last week of class before finals and I have 3 major group presentations to present this week. Blah. How untimely! Honestly, body, couldn't you have held out until school was out! Oh well. At least I have an excuse to take more naps. Hopefully this will disappear...say...Tomorrow.

Justice and Injustice in Everyday Life

When we think about justice and injustice in our lives what exactly do we think about? Do we think about the war in Iraq, genocide in Sudan, children starving in third world countries, and other Oprah-worthy acts of social injustice. How do we or should we define justice and injustice?
A few weeks ago in Wednesday Chapel James Cole, the assistant Chaplain, gave his definitions.
First, he defined power. Though power is often attributed to money or position he defined power as influence.
Injustice: the use of power to oppress others.
Justice: the use of power to liberate others.

He further defined oppression as dehumanizing someone and liberation as humanizing someone. This leads to his complete definition of the terms being:

Injustice : The use of power (influence) to oppress (dehumanize) others.
Justice: The use of poor (influence) to liberate (humanize) others.

James continued to say that injustice is not just something that we see on the news but something that we experience in our everyday lives, mostly in relationships with others.

In our relationships with others, whether it be with parents, friends, significant others, or people we lead, we have the opportunity to use our power (influence) justly or unjustly. There are ways in which we act unjustly (dehumanize) : lying, manipulating, gossiping, etc.
And opportunities to act justly (liberate): telling the truth even when it's painful, being supportive, breaking up when in an unhealthy dating relationship, etc.

We have the chance to free people from chains, perhaps even chains we've put them in. No longer is injustice only seen in poor foreign countries, it's in poor western relationships.

It's time to be liberators and not oppressors.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Jesus. Luke 4:18-19 (also check out Isaiah 61:1-3)

I heart Saturday Night Live

It's true. I've loved Snl for a long time. I think my parents were the ones to really get the ball rolling. Even when we were young (and didn't know what they were doing) they would reference old characters from the first seasons. My affinity for the show grew in those awkward middle school/junior high years when all I needed to add to my awkwardness to make it even more awkward was attempting comedic timing. Anyway.... I hadn't watched it for quite sometime now due to my love of sleep and/or social Saturday nights. I finally started watching again this year.
The cast has changed a lot and has been through some sucky times. However, I think it's starting to turn around. I'm loving the new cast, especially the incredibly talented ladies and the nerdy young guys. My favorite female cast member is probably Amy Poehler. Before SNL she was on a great Comedy Central show called the Upright Citizens Brigade that was birthed from the casts improv group.

Just to share with you the things that I've enjoyed from the show I've linked to my favorite sketches, both recent and vintage.

Look alikes
Digital Short
The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southampton
Spartan Cheerleaders:Cheer Camp
Olympia Cafe
Action 8 Newswatch
Botox

Worship and Intercession

Last night Jen, Cayla, Paul Son, and I traveled to Chase, Ks, to check out the Harp and Bowl House of Prayer. We had become connected with Alan, the director, during The 48. One of our schools cleaning ladies goes to their church and had told them about The 48 continuing. Alan and the director of children's ministries, Melinda, came to Kilbourn Prayer to see what we're up to. They've offered their facilities and resources to us and have really made us feel welcomed.

We had a great time! They even invited us to come up and sing with them. I took advantage of the opportunity and was really blessed. We all came away feeling refreshed and encouraged. It's incredibly encouraging to know there are other people so close to us (30 minutes) that also have a desire to see night and day prayer and lives transformed by Jesus. Jen and I returned this morning for their Sunday services.

This was very refreshing for me. All the crud that I'd been carrying around this week just doesn't seem like such a big deal now. Once you are connected with the one thing that really matters things of no consequence seem so obviously that, inconsequential. I am reminded again and again that the place of prayer is not a burdensome place but a place of joy and communion/ joy in communion. Like Misty Edwards says (paraphrase), "If you want to live a life of transcendence, get into the place of prayer. Prayer has real impact."

"And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints."And they sang a new song... Revelation 5:8-9a

Wedding Showers

There's nothing that makes a teenager feel older than a wedding shower. Granted I'm nineteen, in college, and Sterling is like marriage capital of the ACCK (Association of Christian Colleges in Kansas, or something similar to that), I still feel too young to actually attend as the friend of the bride-to-be and not just a tag along with my Mom.

The shower was for my R.D. Jen "soon to be Pierce" Baranowski. We've become pretty close this year through Kilbourn Prayer and planning The 48 together. The shower included games like "How well do you know Jen?" and "Make a wedding dress out of toilet paper." I'm sure they have more scientific names but you get the idea. Then there was present opening. I think this has to be the most awkward part of the shower. Granted, it really isn't that awkward at all, but it is sort of awkward. Why? It's just like opening presents at birthdays or graduation: everybody is watching you open every single present waiting to see your reaction. Then they gauge their life's happiness off of how much you smiled and the sound of delight you made.

All together it was a good time and we had a lot of fun. I think it was a good 'first wedding shower experience'. Now I've got some ideas for my sister's shower. What will be really scary is when friends my age start to have them. (Shivers). Friends, please don't hurry. We're still young.

Everybody put your hands together for the weekend!!!

Oh man. This has been one crazy, frustrating, and craptastic week. It wasn't all bad, just mostly.
Here's the big deal: I broke up with Nate on Wednesday. It wasn't easy. In fact it sucked and was more uncomfortable and horrible than I could even write. It needed to be done, though. I do feel like this was the best option and stand firm in my decision. All though I do feel bad for hurting him I know from my side of things it would be unfair to continue dating him. I don't want to go into the whole explanation and thus will try to sum it up in a few key phrases.

1. We make a good couple, but better friends.
2. I've got my own things to figure out before I drag another person into it.
3. If it continued any longer there would be greater pain and awkwardness on both parts.

The hardest part now is retaining our friendship. We are still in the very awkward post-breakup phase were you don't want to be around, let alone see, the other person lest it remind you of what was and now isn't. It will get better with time. Either way, I've decided to leave the "break-up photo' in the post about the dance up. I think it provides some good irony. Hopefully that irony will become humorous and not dramatic.

On top of breaking up I've got three group projects on my plate. It's not so much that I hate group projects, but I'm so busy right now that its very inconvenient to have to work with other people. I'm the person in the group that schedules and organizes everything too. That's a lot of effort. I'd rather study and take a test. Also next week is production week fo the One Acts. It's bound to get crazy.

Other than that my week has been ok. Less depressing posts to come.

Cargo Cults

Cargo cults-Very interesting concept. Some say crazy, but not Dr. Froese or Marvin Harris. Dr. Froese is one of my professors. He mainly teaches psychology but teachers an amazing Gen. Ed. called Human Social Context, a class which combines sociology, psychology, economics, and govt.
Marvin Harris is author of a book we read from that class called Cows , Pigs, Wars, and Witches: The Riddles of Culture. In this book Harris explores the deeper sociological issues behind cultural weirdness or conundrums such as why people don't eat cows in India, why witch trials really happened, and how tribal economic distribution works. It's pretty interesting.

Today, being the nerd that I am, I discovered a news story discussing a cargo cult that we read about in Harris' book.
Read the link: click here .

Then read this quote from Harris:
"Inevitably, these concepts--many rather precisely analogous to themes in the aboriginal belief system--had to become an idiom in which mass resistance to colonial exploitation was first expressed. "Mission Christianity" was the womb of rebellion. By repressing any form of open agitation, strikes, unions, or political parties, the Europeans themselves guaranteed the triumph of cargo. It was relatively easy to see that the missionaries were lying when they said that cargo would only be given to people who worked hard. What was difficult to grasp was that there was a definite link between the wealth enjoyed by the Australians and Americans and the work of the natives. Without the cheapness of native labor and the expropriation of native lands, the colonial powers would never have gotten so rich. In one sense, therefore, the natives were entitled to the products of the industrialized nations even though they couldn't pay for them. Cargo was their way of saying this. And that, I believe, is it's true secret."