Almost the new year

So it's been almost 3 weeks since I've updated. I've been busy. Last week I babysat my nephew Jackson and I had a blast! Mom, Dad, and I decided to give Ang and Trav a break from their crazy-parent schedule so we took the baby while they went home. He is a bundle of crazy. It's was way fun but also tiring. After that the whole family headed up to K.C. and did all of out Christmas stuff. It was a lot of fun. We opened presents, took a sleigh ride around the plaza, and did some shopping.

The rest of my break has been as such:
The first week I wasted watching T.V. Every time I come home for a break it seems that I have to gorge myself on T.V. (since I don't watch any at school) until I remember how much it really sucks. You guys T.V. is lame. So incredibly lame. Don't be offended. I'm not judging you for watching T.V. Just look at what you are watching. Do you really want to fill your mind and your heart with that? I have to ask myself that question every day when boredom seeps in and I am tempted to believe that T.V. is the only thing that will entertain me.

After that I snapped into gear and finally started to spend time with God. That has been the best part of my break. God has been rooting and grounding me in His love. He has been calling me into deeper obedience (I hate it when I am disobedient). He is revealing areas where He wants to mature me. Side note: God knows the difference between immaturity and disobedience. Yay! He has been burdening me with specific things to intercede for. He has been teaching me about envy. He is building my relationship with the Holy Spirit. He has been teaching me about grace.
I am so thankful that though God always loves me where I am, He loves me so much that He won't leave me in my complacency, immaturity, or disobedience. I am so thankful for this break from school and that God has done so much more with this time than I expected.

Thank you IHOP

Thank you International House of Prayer for making the GBF (global bridegroom fast) free to watch all this week.
Listened to some Merchant Band this morning.
Enjoying some Misty Edwards-ness right now. Amazing!

"You are stronger in my weakness

So I'll lean into Your strength.

You are greater when I diminish

So I'll lean into Your grace"

Finals Week

I've only had two real finals and they were both today. They weren't that bad and were both Bible classes which makes it really fun.
I've spent more time in the prayer room this week than studying or taking finals. That's just the way I like it. It's been a challenge to pray this week. There is so much emotional stuff involved along with a large amount of rumors and misinformation. It can get really frustrating to have to sift through all the junk.
Although this has been a hard transition for the college I feel like the main thing God wants to do in this time is have our full attention. I think it is easy, as a whole student body, to use Christ when it is convenient. I feel like God is calling this campus to decided whether we want Him or not. That sounds harsh, but God is jealous for Sterling College. He has wonderful plans for us and wants to see us have the best, which means a restored relationship with Him. He disciplines the ones He loves. Right now I'm pressing into that reality in prayer for the campus.
This week has really been hard on me because I've come to the end of myself and my strength and have to rely on God's strength. That's great! I really have to fight for the things I love, like prayer and Sterling College. Ultimately God is strengthening my relationship with Him and developing my passion for prayer and people. Awesome. It is just painful. Jesus never said dying to yourself was easy, that's why its called death.

(Un) offended

Again, and it's one of those times you really hate repeats, there is turmoil on campus. For the 2nd semester in a row people are on the chopping block at Sterling College. Recently both our President of Academic Affairs and our VP of Student Life were fired for no reason. It is incredibly sad because they were both incredibly strong men of faith. There are rumors that more faculty will be cut when we leave for break. This is putting the students under incredible stress and in situations like this tend to make people angry. Here are my thoughts:

Though injustice needs to be dealt with, its not an excuse or reason to be angry with God. Only by digging into the word and having it written upon our hearts while coming before God in prayer and asking, "What is on Your heart?' over and over again will we remain unoffended. It's not that we're necessarily asking God to break down His plan step by step for us, but instead asking that our hearts would become like His. That (Having and knowledge and understanding of God's heart) will transcend and permeate any situation we are in or will be in for the rest of our lives.

On my mind and in my journal

Here are some things that have been on my heart lately:

Holiness- I feel like God wants to raise up holy people on this campus. I have always replied with a"Yes!!!!....ummm...how?". Finally I feel like I have the beginning of an answer. As usual it is something that is simple, but it impacted me deeply. Here's the excerpt from my journal:

"God didn't say, 'Be holy' and leave it at that. He said, 'Be holy, as I am holy." He is our role model. He is our example, our blueprint, our mold. He is the one we are to look to in order to learn about what holiness is. As we look to Him we will be transformed into His likeness. Then we will be holy as He is holy."

The power of prayer- It seems like everyday I become more and more convinced regarding the power of prayer. God continues to show me the futility of my efforts apart from Him. More and more I feel the burden to pray. It's amazing and painful all at the same time.

"Prayer is as vast as God because He is behind it. Prayer is as might as God, because He has committed Himself to answer it."- Leonard Ravenhill.

Sterling College: "It's time to decide." 1 Kings 18:21

God wants our hearts. He wants people who won't play games and will love Him wholeheartedly.

Update on The 25...a week later

The 25 went really well. We ended up getting all the slots filled (last minute sign-ups are the best). What was exciting for me was to see some freshman stepping up and taking leadership. We've got some cool up and coming worship-leaders on campus.
This 'hours of prayer' was a lot different than the 48 last spring. The whole campus seemed really dead, nobody was around (which never happens), but the prayer room had a steady stream of people. It always seemed like a very intimate setting, never having an overwhelming amount of people in the prayer room at once. It seemed like God wanted to really work in individuals lives a lot more than the group as a whole. God really knows best and knows that this is a time when most people are so tired of school and a just itching for thanksgiving. I think that this was a time more for sowing things (a.k.a. not seeing with our eyes what God is doing but paving the way for things to come) than reaping (getting to see the fruits of our prayers). God is wise to hide such things.
It was a good time for me, though being in charge of everything is crazy. It was crazy in that God allowed me to participate on what He is doing on campus through prayer. I loved it though. I could organize to facilitate prayer any day. God continued to confirm in me what I am called to do, what I was created to do and that is a miracle in itself. It is also really refreshing and is helping me focus a lot more on what is important.
Praise God for the 25! Let's keeping asking for "More!" and praying for the next 'hours of prayer' in the spring.

"Maybe I just have a fat, girly face"

Kudos to Relevant magazine online for highlighting this hilarious news story. The best part is the quote used as my title. Just check it out, it should make your day.

The 25

The 25 hours of prayer is upon us!
That was a little melodramatic.
No, strike that...
It is exciting.
Last year The 48 was amazing. Getting that many people to pray for that long and seeing such a dramatic change in people's lives is definitely not something accomplished by human efforts.
Though this is a crazy time of year people are signing up (we still need more slots filled though. God will provide). I know that God is going to move again as we come before Him in prayer. God answers the cries of the hungry, thirsty, desperate, and lovesick with Himself.

Pray for us as we pray.
Pray that those who are hurting and heartbroken to find healing.
Pray for those who are confused that they would have clarity and discernment.
Pray for those who are looking for meaning in life, that they would find their definition in who God is and who God has made.
Pray for those who are questioning, that they would be answered.
Pray that God would move in amazing ways on this campus and cause people to love God and each other in a new way.

Ahh...weekend!

The roomie, Jean, and I are heading to Manhattan! No, not New York (though that would be quite a extraordinary weekend get-away), Manhattan KS, home of the Wild-cats and my best friend Ellen!
A Sterling graduate is performing in Tartuffe this weekend and we wanted to see that and I definitely wanted to see Ellen. How long has it been since I've seen her? Since this summer? Too long. I finally get to come visit her, like we always promised to do, and to meet all her K-State friends.
I'm looking forward to it. I think Jean and I will have a fun road trip up there, a good time seeing Tartuffe, and hanging out with the Ellen.

In other news....
This has been a completely odd week.
I almost no homework.
We had a Halloween barn dance thing Tuesday night. It was fun to see everyone's costumes. My favorite was my friend's recreation of the "American Gothic" painting.
As much as I've wanted to pray and study the Bible (after a long period of knowing I want to do it but never getting to it) it was really hard and I seemed to face a lot of obstacles that kept me from it. I really have enjoyed my time in the Prayer Room on campus though. God has been blessing me with the perseverance to pray, which is a huge blessing. Sometimes prayer can be such a battle!
I'm also gearing up for the 25 hours of prayer next weekend, I know God is going to do big things on this campus! To see what I mean check out any post on The 48 from last spring (March-April).

Fall Breather

Fall Breather, one of the best ideas for a break ever, was last Monday and Tuesday, which means an awesomely long weekend. Instead of just hanging out at home all the time, which I did last year, I lead a school trip up to the International House of Prayer-KC (referred to as the ihop from here on out). How did I get this super-cool responsibility? Because I'm a chaplain, that's why! (By the way, I love all of my chaplain duties it's amazing!)

A total of 9 students went, which was just the perfect amount. The students who went were also perfect for this trip. I feel like God hand-picked them to go on this trip. Though I knew everyone on the trip and knew they were responsible, there is always that fear that the leader will become the baby-sitter, in a sense. Thankfully I never had to do that and never felt the tension between simultaneously being a friend and a leader. The whole trip was amazing, God was definitely leading it and blessing it. Logistically, which is my least favorite part, everything went so smooth. I was never stressed by anything and nothing that could've gone wrong did.

Also, the students who went, and myself included, were all impacted by God while we were there. We spent most of our days in the prayer room and just soaked in the presence of God. We also had some group meetings to pray together and talk about what we had been experiencing.

For me, it was amazing to see how everything came together in the end. David, my chaplain co-chair and a pretty cool guy, had been planning this for a few months wondering how everything would really come together. It was neat for me to bring others (I'm friends with most of the group) to a place that is so close to my heart and see them experience it. It was amazing to pray with them and talk to them about what they were experiencing with God and to see them flourish in prayer and Bible study.
















Photos from www.ihop.org

I want my caramel Apple Cider, dangit!

I'm sitting at Mokas waiting for my apple cider to be done.
Anyway.
It is Fall breather (Monday and Tuesday off=yay!) and I'm at home until Sunday.
Sunday I leave with a group of 8 other Sterling-ites and we head up to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. I love that my chaplain duties include taking people to places I love. My co-chair buddy David F. and I organized the whole trip. Unfortunately he is not able to go as he tore his ACL a few weeks ago and just had surgery. So I'm completely in charge. No sponsor or anything. Just a sophomore telling everyone else what to do. That's bad planning.
The good part is that those who are coming are all responsible and are all my friends. We should get along just fine.
I'll actually have to update my blog sometime. Life has been crazy busy, or cruzy.
Oh, and I cut my hair today.
And colored it.
ha!

Yay! A wedding!

Hey everybody, my sister is getting married this weekend!
I'm so excited and really looking forward to hanging out with friends and family, being maid of honor, and, most of all, to see my sister marry the man she loves. I completely approve. The first time I met Travis I approved and he has continued to not just meet, but exceed my standards. Yay, I have a cool bro-in-law!
I'll have to post pictures when I get back and if my computer allows.
I'm sure I'll embarrass my self at some point. Look forward to some awkward stories.
Yay!

Hedged in

Author's note:
After considering deleting this post I decided to go ahead and post it. It's not as eloquent as I want and it barely scrapes the surface of the issue and my feelings. Well, whatever...

God has such a beautiful way of dealing with and moving in the human heart. Recently I have been reviewing one in particular in my own life. It's the concept of being hedged in.

Often times there comes a season in a Christian's walk with God where things seem dry, dull, boring, or distant. It can be a dramatic and painful contrast to seasons where God's presence seems to surround you and worship, prayer, and Bible study grip your heart every time. This is often referred to as a desert season. I have found myself in this place, this season, recently.

When entering this season it is easy to assume ,"I've done something wrong! I better start repenting of every horrible thing I've ever done. That will make this feeling go away," however, though the feeling of distance from God can be from sin, this is often a season of growth. God has bigger purposes than we can imagine.

These seasons are often used to shake us out of our comfort zone, to disillusion us to the things of this life, and to make us realize how much more God has for us. In this wilderness, this dry and barren place, God is enlarging our capacity to love Him. It's another interesting paradox: a barren place is where we can find life and when we mourn for more of God we will be comforted.

These are not seasons without purpose. God knows our hearts. He knows how easily we are distracted and allow ourselves to be distracted. This is where He hedges us in. We try to find satisfaction in human relationships. WALL. We try to numb the ache inside with entertainment. WALL. We try to fill our emptiness with substances. WALL. We try to run. WALL. We search for satisfaction in everything but God and every time we come up empty. This is our gift.

He is calling us to meet Him in this place, where we're boxed in by our own dissatisfaction and finally look to Him.

I'm such a bum

Time-management is one of my fortes. I am excellent at getting work done on time, and even ahead of time for classes. Once homework and other obligations are out of the way I have plenty of time for socializing and the like. I rarely get really stressed out and even if I do I handle that well.
And then I started my sophomore year in college.
I am such a bum this semester. I can't seem to discipline myself to get things done in a timely manner. I'm going to drive myself nuts with this lack of schedule, forgetting assignments, and general lack of self control.
Most of the time I allow myself to be distracted. It's not hard. I've got lots of options, internet, piano playing, napping, wandering aimlessly around the dorm, and talking to friends (I don't mind this one at all really because it's usually productive and encouraging).
I think one of the causes is my seemingly excessive amount of free time. With more free time I always have the excuse that I can do it later.
The problem with this whole being a bum thing is that more important things often fall to the side. Like time getting to know others, spending time ministering to others, and most importantly, time with God.
Hopefully I'll kick myself in the rear one of these days and get in gear. Until then, if you see me with lots of books and papers spread all over my bed, I'm probably attempting to work. I'd love to see you, but encourage me to finish my homework first.

Well, time for a nap.

100th Post!!!

Yay! I made it to 100! I've been waiting. Not really, that was a lie. I only noticed when I got up to 96. Anyway, what better way to celebrate (besides having an actual party) than reflecting on the best posts I've written. (Disclaimer: Just because I call it my best writing does not mean that it is amazing writing and/or grammatically correct. It may also be totally random and weird.)

Napoleon 2: The Re-enactment

Low-Risers, Cheesecloth, and all sizes fit none. Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The 48 (hours of prayer that is)

Almost...the...weekened...

Justice and injustice in everyday life

Job Description

Remembering the 48

Awkward

Conversations with Strangers

Why stealing art is illogical

Norwegian police find Munch's 'Scream'

Two years ago some gunmen burst into a museum and stole the painting "Scream" by Edvard Munch. Museum security was no match to crazy art thieves with guns. Finally, the were apprehended.
Why would you steal such a famous piece of art? Everyone who sees it could easily recognize it. Even if you tried to sell it on the black market it could be tricky. Art is meant to be displayed and hanging a painting that's been missing for two years would be ridiculous.
If you really like a piece of art please don't steal it, you are only robbing others of enjoying it. I suggest going to the museum bookstore and buying a postcard version of it. If you are going to steal art, make sure it is at least from some obscure artist. You could steal my art.

What I have to go to class!?

That statement is an exaggeration of what I'm really feeling. I'm glad that classes have started and that the crazy orientation schedule is ready to be gathered into a giant pile and burnt. Thank goodness for routine of some sort.
I think my classes will be really good. I'm taking 18 hours right now, but 9 of them are pretty easy. The only ones I really have to work for are the only ones I really want to work for. They are 3 Christian ministry classes: instructional Bible Study, Biblical prophets, and Adolescent Culture and the Gospel. Lots of Bible reading which is awesome.
The only problem I'm having adjusting back into a school schedule is being disciplined in homework. I usually am but right now I want to catch up with all my friends from last year as well as meet the new students. I'm sure it will be easier once I really get into my schedule.
So far my prayer leader responsibilities are going well. The girls that I'm praying for a stellar! They are all amazing and unique. I'm excited to get to know them more.
The freshman class in general is impressive, not just in size (they're around 260), but in their talents and abilities. I think they will all have a good impact on Sterling Campus.

Well...I guess I'll go work on homework before class starts. Sigh.

You have to be ready!!!

Yesterday a group of us, who were helping guys move into Campbell Hall, took a break during the lull and watched an episode of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. It was all about going to school for the first time and was especially appropriate since all the Fall athletes were moving in yesterday and the new students will move in tomorrow. One of the characters in make-believe-land was scaring all the children with as scary poem that made them think they weren't ready for school. The poem went something like this:

"You have to be ready, You have to be ready,

You have to be ready,

for school, for school!

You have to be ready or you'll be sorry!"

We thought it'd be appropriate to run down the halls and yell it when all the new students are here.

The campus is hopping now. All the athletes are back and we're still expecting many more students. The total enrollment, at least the last time I heard, for new students was 261! I'm excited for the rest of our wing girls to move in. We have a total of 8 girls who are new student/athletes and are expecting another 12 tomorrow. Woot! So far the girls seem really awesome, though I'm having problems remembering all their names. That is not unexpected on my part. I'm glad we all have to wear lanyards with our names on them. I hope that helps.

Student Leadership Training and the like

I am all moved in to my dorm room. Everything has assumed a similar location as last year, with the addition of a kickin' keyboard.
It's good to be back. Really good. We've been kept pretty busy. Our meetings and activities start at 7:30am and end around 10pm everyday. It's been really good. My team ,which is made up of 4 Resident assistants and they're prayer leaders, is really fun. We've been bonding and coming up with inside jokes and all that jazz (complete with flutes). It's been challenging physically, mentally, and spiritually, but mostly physically. All of our activities remind me of forgotten childhood activities and talents, like capture the flag and flag football. The schedule doesn't allow for a lot of down time but doesn't look like it will slow down much as we plan for orientation and prepare for new students.
We had our last game last night, a crazy relay race complete with chocolate, milk, water, and soap, and today will transition into planning orientation.
athletes move in Wednesday and all new students come Friday. Pray for us! We're going to have the largest group of new students the college has ever had. The record was 252 and we're looking like we'll have 260 new students! CRAZY! Last year we only had 150-ish.
I think it is going to be a crazy and amazing year, or if you like to combine words to make new words, cramazing.

"I leave for school in two days" and other seemingly shocking statements

I getting ready to go back for leadership training before class actually begins. I think it will be fun. But I think of it in a very far off fashion, like it is still May and the reality of school is months away.
Am I really going to school Thursday? Yes. Yes I am. Crazy.
When it seemed far away it was exciting. When it got closer I got more organized and wrote out vision statements. Now I am in a frenzy of packing.
The frenzy is mostly in my head while the actual packing is more organized. I just feel like there are a million things I have to do before I go back and they really aren't the most necessary things. Does that even make sense? Whatever. There are so many decisions that have to be made regarding my schedule and what activities I'm involved in and that kind of thing and all of those thoughts are bouncing around in my head simultaneously. I should really make a list or write it out or something but I'm sick of lists.
I'm sure I'll regain my sanity sometime. I'll keep you posted.

Rant over.