First, I was in the intercession set. I listened to, and joined in, people's prayers for the upcoming One Thing Conference, for Kansas City, and for countires. As I prayed I realized how much I love to be in this place of intercession. I love to be inquiring to God about what is on His heart, what He wants to do, what His desires are, and then partnering with Him in the place of prayer. Again, and not for the last time, God opened my eyes not only to how important prayer is, but how important it is to me and to Him.
Later on Thursday, I was sitting in on the Misty Edwards 'Prophetic Worship' set and again God opened up my heart to Him. Since I've been in this 'blah' season I've had a hard time just being here. I want to move onto the greater adventures of knowing and loving Him. Although I didn't want to admit it, not only did this 'blah-ness' drive me nuts, but it made me feel as if I were somehow failing at this whole 'God thing'. Misty and her team sang about the heart-ache and the longing we feel for God, singing and speaking lines like "This ache is love. It doesn't lead to love, it is love." One of her team members started speaking about how God longs for us, how He wants us to be with Him, and how He's been waiting for us ever since we were a thought in His mind. And this realization came to me:
"Why is it that when God waits, longs, and wants more it's love, but when I wait, long, and want more I call it 'failure', I call it 'Try Harder'."
This one thing that God revealed to me has changed (and is changing) how I feel about 'blah' seasons. I'm not as frustrated now that I realize that with the ache and longing in my heart I am becoming more like the One who first felt the ache and the longing for me.
Yay for Jesus!
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Psalm 130:5-6
(NIV)
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